Feral Sins (The Phoenix Pack #1)(11)
Author: Suzanne Wright

Knowing that she would never be able to come back here no matter what happened, Taryn packed a large dufflebag complete with clothes, passport and a few sentimental objects with the plan that she could stash it in her car ready for Friday night. Unlike the other wolves, she always drove to the club as she was constantly on call in case someone from her pack needed healing.

She didn’t have a lot of stuff, so it wasn’t hard to sift through it and only take the things she really liked or wanted. Her dad had forbid her from getting an actual job that paid wages, wanting her here at all times due to being the pack healer. The only times she ever had money to buy herself things were when he gave her some, which wasn’t often. One thing she had learnt from her mom was the importance of saving money, so at least she had some to take with her.

The problem was getting the dufflebag to the car without her constant companion seeing. She figured that her best chance of making Perry a little distracted was if she seemed the most boring person imaginable. Of course that wouldn’t be enough because she was considered a flight risk. She ensured that she appeared to be angry, but drained of the will to fight, hoping to pass as someone resigned to her fate. So that was what she did.

After another two days Perry became less vigilant and she found a moment to stash the dufflebag in the trunk. Then she busied herself concentrating on what she would do if Trey didn’t appear at the club. She knew she was going to her uncle, but what she hadn’t mastered was just how she would do that while being watched so closely.

She figured that her best option would be to disappear in a crowd of people. If she could slip away from the club while her dad’s enforcers were still inside the club, she might have a chance at getting away. She had to have a chance. She couldn’t mate with that sicko.

Finally Friday morning came. It had felt more like two weeks than four days. She had remembered what Trey had said about not doing anything out of the norm, but there was one thing she had to do before she left. Her usual visit to Joey’s and her mom’s graves were every other Sunday, but Perry didn’t seem suspicious. Surprised, but not suspicious. Although there was a chance this might seem suspicious to him later, it wasn’t something she could leave without doing.

She went to her mom’s grave first and, as usual, spent a few minutes tidying it up by replacing the decaying flowers with a fresh bunch. Silently she apologised to her for this being the last time she would ever be able to visit and for not being able to have the kind of loving relationship with her dad that she would have wanted.

Her eyes filled as she gave Joey’s grave the same treatment as her mom’s. She then sat in front of it as she silently spoke to him.

Hey Joe. I don’t know how much you guys up there know about what goes on down here, but there’s been some really weird crap going on. Remember I told you last time about that weird-ass alpha my dad is trying to force me to mate with? Well, it turns out he’s also a very sick son of a bitch and my dad doesn’t even give a shit.

There’s this other alpha who’s offered me a deal that would get me out of this, but it means I’d have to mate with him. It wouldn’t be a real mating, because all he wants is an alliance with my dad and it will only be temporary. The thing is…I need to make everyone believe that he’s my true mate, which means I’m going to be telling them that you never were. And I’m so sorry for this, so f**king sorry, but I can’t see any other way out.

People say I must wish I’d never found you if it meant you were going to die before we even had a chance to have the mating bond, but I don’t wish that, you know. Never have. We might not have mated, but we did have a bond.

I’m so sorry, but this is the last time I’ll be here. My dad’s not going to let me come back after this, but you can bet your ass that I’ll still be talking to you sometimes. I’ll find a river just like we use to and I’ll go sit there and talk to you. And you better listen, too, Joseph Winters, because you always had a habit switching off when you thought I’d been talking for too long.

You’ve probably switched off now. Okay, it’s fair to say that I’ve been jabbering on. She stood, wiping the tears from her cheeks, as she said the words she always said just before leaving. Miss you, love you.

Then, with a heavy heart, she turned away and began walking back toward the pack house. And it hurt so, so bad knowing she’d never be back. It was like there was this huge constriction around her chest that tightened with each step.

“He was a good kid,” stated Perry.

“Yeah.”

“He won’t hate you for mating with Roscoe, you know. He wouldn’t want you living your life alone. And Roscoe’s not a bad guy.”

Deciding that arguing would only make Perry more likely to watch her more closely, she continued with her ‘I’m pissed but resigned’ act.

Knowing that she would never again see the graves of the two most important people to her, Taryn would have spent the next few hours in a gloomy mood if it hadn’t been for her dad’s fantastic news. Roscoe was due to arrive the morning after tomorrow for another visit. That put her thoughts back in order like nothing else could have. Not only did it remind her why exactly she was doing this, but it helped her shove the guilt aside – guilt which had been heightened by how her body and her wolf reacted to Trey.

It wasn’t that she had never desired a guy before, but the desire had never been this intense before. If Taryn had met him under different circumstances she would have most likely ran far and fast from that desire. As much as she had always told herself that she would one day mate, whenever she had gotten involved with a guy she had found herself involuntarily holding back. Although she craved safety, protection, and the type of connection that only mates had it made her hate herself, because she felt as though she was betraying Joey. A part of her knew that wasn’t the case but it didn’t change how she felt. If she ever particularly liked a guy, her instinct was to stay the hell away from him.

Therein lay the problem with Trey…she wouldn’t be able to stay clear of him. Not only because they needed to spend time together to pull off the true mate stuff, but because they would be mated. It wouldn’t matter that what brought them together wasn’t love or even a desire to be mated, the second he marked her and she accepted him, they would be classed as mates and their wolves would make it damn difficult for them to keep a physical distance.