Find You in the Dark (Find You in the Dark #1)(47)
Author: A. Meredith Walters

“I don’ know, Rach. I do know that I love him and he loves me. And whatever happens, happens.” I said determinedly. Rachel picked at her nails. “Well, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Don’t let a guy make you feel like you should, you know?” I knew what she was getting at. It didn’t take a rocket science to figure out she was telling me that she worried I would be pressured to have sex. If she only knew how many times it was Clay who put a halt to things.

“I know that. I’m not going to do anything I don’t want to do.” I assured her. Rachel nodded, apparently trying to take me at my word. Why did I get the feeling she didn’t believe me?

“This is the real deal, Rach. I love him.” I told her, sitting down on my bed. Rachel sat down beside me and put her arm around me and laying her head on my shoulder. “I know you do, Maggie. And I’m happy you’ve found that.” Rachel sounded genuine and I felt my stomach unclench in relief. I leaned into her. “Thanks.” I said and we were quiet a moment. “What about you and Daniel? Are you going to play nice this weekend?” I asked, nudging her with my shoulder.

Rachel grunted. “I’ll play nice if he plays nice.” she said tersely. I gave her arm a pinch. “I know you’re angry with him. He hurt you. I understand how hard it is to open that part of yourself to someone. But Daniel cares about you. And maybe the timing just wasn’t right. Don’t rule it out. You guys are made for each other.” Rachel shrugged. “I don’t know. If he can forget about Kylie for more than two minutes, maybe you’d be right.” I felt bad for her, because she was speaking the truth. “Besides, even though things are weird with us right now, he’s still one of my best friends. And as much as I fantasize about us being something else, I really don’t want to ruin our friendship.” She said wistfully.

“I know. But the best relationships are built on friendship first.” I said, zipping up my bag. Rachel shrugged again. “I seriously doubt Daniel sees me as anything but a friend. Hell, he thought we had penises!” I laughed, recalling that conversation clearly. But, I for one, knew that Daniel wasn’t entirely unaffected by Rachel. I had seen his eyes when he saw her in that pink sparkly dress at Fall Formal. I saw how upset he got when she was mad at him. He had feelings for her alright. If he was willing to act on them was the real question.

“I just think life’s too short to get hung up on maybes.” I told her simply. Rachel rolled her eyes at me. “Well aren’t you philosophical all of a sudden. Love has turned you into Gandhi.” I laughed as I hoisted my bulging duffel bag on my shoulder and headed down the stairs.

We were still laughing as we rounded the corner into the kitchen. My mom was perched on a stool, taping away at her laptop. “What are you girls laughing about?” She asked, giving us a smile. I shook my head. “Nothing, Mom.” I said offhandedly. “Hi Rachel! Do you girls have lots of fun planned for your evening?” My mom asked, looking at Rachel.

Rachel swallowed thickly and nodded like a puppet. “Yeah, we’re going to see a movie at 8:00. You know the new Brad Pitt one that’s out. He is so hot. Even if he is a little old. I mean, who cares when you look like that. And he and Angelina Jolie make the most perfect couple.” I elbowed Rachel in the ribs so she would stop her nervous rambling. Rachel closed her mouth and gave my mom a pained smile. There was no way my mom was going to buy this! It was too obvious we were lying!

But the teenage gods were smiling on us. My mom simply gave Rachel an odd look and then nodded her head. “Okay, then have fun. Do you have your cell phone, Maggie?” She asked me. I pulled it out of my jacket pocket and waved it in front of me. “Love you. See you tomorrow.” She said, returning her focus to whatever was on her laptop screen. Yes! Home free! I tried not to run out of the kitchen in my rush to get out of the house before she changed her mind.

Once in Rachel’s car and headed down the road, she let out a loud breath. “Damn, I thought for a second we were so busted.” “I know. Especially after your fantastic monologue about the wonders of Brad Pitt. You are the worst liar!” Rachel blew her bangs from her forehead. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have had me do it then.” She snipped at me. It was time to lay it on a little thick. “Thank you, Rachel for everything back there. You are seriously the best friend a gal could ever, ever have.” I batted my eyelashes at her.

Rachel laughed grudgingly. “Oh, just shut up, will you?” She flipped on the radio, ending our conversation.

We arrived at Clay’s house ten minutes later. Daniel, Ray, and Clare were already there. Ruby and Lisa were talking to them on the front porch. Clare waved at us as we pulled into the driveway. We parked and got out of the car. “Everyone ready?” I asked, barely able to conceal my excitement. I moved to Clay’s side and gave him a quick squeeze before greeting Ruby and Lisa.

Lisa dangled a key in front of her. “Here you go guys. Have fun. There should be cut firewood up already and there’s a small grocery store about five minutes away. Have fun and be safe.” Clay took the key and gave Lisa a hug. “Thanks, Lis. You’re the best.”

We all called out our thank yous as we piled into separate vehicles. Rachel, Clay, Daniel, and I loaded up into Rachel’s car while Ray and Clare followed in his SUV.

I snuggled into Clay’s side in the back seat, laying my head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head and laced his fingers through mine. I sighed in contentment. This was the most relaxed I had been in weeks.

Franklin Lake was only forty-five minutes away. Close enough that you didn’t spend all day driving but far enough that you felt like you were away from it all. Things in the car were a little awkward at first. But finally after awhile, everyone started to get comfortable and we were able to engage in conversation that wasn’t entirely stilted.

Rachel and Daniel were still tense around each other, but even they made an effort to enjoy themselves. I could have sworn I even saw Daniel smile at one point. Clay and Rachel talked about their creative writing class. Daniel spoke endlessly about the basketball team. For the first time in weeks, I felt a sort of civility fall over my friends and me and I realized with a pang how much I had missed them. I hadn’t noticed how much I had pushed them away in my pursuit of my relationship with Clay. When was the last time I had talked to Daniel about something that wasn’t in any way related to my rollercoaster love life? I couldn’t remember. And that was sad. I was determined to rectify that this evening.

Clay wouldn’t let go of my hand the entire ride. His thumb caressed the sensitive skin of my palm, shooting sparks straight to my belly. Running his nose up the side of my neck, he murmured in my ear, “I love you, baby.” I squeezed his hand in return, my insides a twisty mess at his nearness.