Find You in the Dark (Find You in the Dark #1)(69)
Author: A. Meredith Walters

My mom frowned at me. “What’s with the attitude? I just wanted to know how my only child is doing. Is it wrong for a mother to care about her daughter’s well- being?” Okay, that was it. I was sick of their concern. Sick to death of their overprotective mama and papa bear bullshit.

I glared at my mother, the woman who had been my best friend and biggest support for most of my life. But in that moment I forgot all about that. Instead, all I saw when I looked at her, was my enemy.

“You know what mom? If you cared about my well- being you’d back off and let me live my life with whomever I choose to live it with.” I spat at her. My mother’s eyes widened in shock at my outburst.

Yes, this was not the little girl she knew. This was some crazy woman who was wearing Maggie Young’s skin. My mom drew herself upright and a stern look took over her face. “Don’t you dare speak to me that way. Your father and I have always done what was best for you.” I cut her off with a maniacal laugh. “What’s best for me? Are you kidding? You have pretty much forbidden me from seeing the only guy I’ll ever love! How is that good for me?” I shrieked at her.

My mom sighed and looked at me with a less than patient look on her face. “Stop being so dramatic. I tried to like Clayton, if you’ll remember. It doesn’t change the fact that while you were with him you made terrible decisions and behaved reprehensibly. You started lying, sneaking around, shutting out your friends. Love doesn’t make you act like that, Maggie. No matter what you choose to believe.” She said with irritation.

“You don’t know the first thing about Clay and me. You never will!” I yelled, grinding the heels of my hands into my eyes. I felt like I was about to bust out of my skin. I was so wound up about Clay and everything else, I just couldn’t deal with my parents right now.

My mom took on a concerned expression. “What’s going on, Maggie? You’ve always been able to tell me things. You know I’d listen.” For a moment, I softened. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to go back to the time when I felt like my mother would listen to me without condemnation and judgment.

Maybe, just maybe, I could share with her everything that was going on with Clay and she’d have some advice, a suggestion or two. And I wouldn’t feel so freaking alone in all this mess.

But her next statement blew my little fantasy out of the water.

“But you have to stop getting so worked up over that boy. He is nothing but trouble. Look at yourself, Maggie May. Look at who you’ve become. I think you need to really think about the way he has completely taken over your life. Is this thing you have with him really worth saving?” Her psychobabble made me want to gouge my eyes out. Or hers. Whichever came first.

I covered my face with my hands and screamed in frustration. “Are you serious?” I screeched. I lept to my feet. “This is total bullshit! Nobody has taken over my life. Your Clay paranoia is ridiculous! Have you ever thought that maybe I’m just changing? God forbid that I’m not your perfect little girl anymore. That I have feelings that have absolutely NOTHING to do with you and dad?! My life is mine! And I’m sick of your insane need to control it!” My mom opened her mouth to say something, probably to scold me for cursing, but I kept on going.

“You are the ones driving me crazy and creating all of this drama. So please, just give it a rest.” My anger dissipated and only exhaustion remained. If there was one thing this little pow-wow accomplished, was making a decision about Clay crystal f**king clear.

I wouldn’t turn my back on him the way everyone else always had. He needed me and that was more important that my parents’ anger and disappointment. But I couldn’t argue about this with them anymore. I was done. This would not be a topic of conversation between us anymore.

My mom’s mouth hung open and she was for once at a loss for words. She took a deep breath and looked at me as if I had morphed into a mutant. She stood up and looked at me as though trying to see the daughter she used to know inside me somewhere.

“I don’t even know the person you’ve become, Maggie May. This person.” She waved her hand toward me. “Is angry and bitter and way too invested in some high school romance that in no way defines the rest of your life. Wake up!. Get yourself together.” My mother said coldly. I knew this was her idea of tough love, but I was having none of it.

I sagged to the floor, my legs not supporting my weight any longer. I didn’t have anything else to say. I was all out of words. I couldn’t convince someone that was way passed convincing. My mom walked to the door and turned back around to look at me again. Her expression had changed to one of worry. And I could see how much she ached for my pain. But I also saw her grim resolve and how, in her mind, she truly knew what was best for me.

“Clay is not what’s best for you, Maggie. I know he’s not a bad kid. In fact, I can see a lot of what you love about him. But he is leading you down a very bad path, one that you may not be able to turn away from. Sometimes, love can’t make everything better, and the best thing for everyone is to walk away. No matter how much it may hurt.”

My heart constricted at her words. They resonated inside me and I had a hard time catching my breath. But then my anger surged forth again and I looked at her with all the rage I had been feeling. “What do you know about Clay and me?! You know NOTHING!” I spat hatefully.

My mom actually flinched at the venom I threw at her. I was being an ungrateful little bitch and I knew it. But my priorities in life had significantly changed and my parents and their need to keep me safe was not one of them.

Without another word, my mom left, looking heartbroken. But I was done feeling guilty about all of this. I flopped back on my bed, wanting desperately to sleep. Rest evaded me and I lay there, staring at my ceiling and wondered how my life had gotten so messed up.

Chapter Twenty-One

I didn’t go down for dinner, refusing to leave my room, even after my dad came up and offered to bring me something to eat. I wouldn’t go down stairs and pretend life was honky dory when it was all a lie. So I holed up in my room, playing depressing indie rock and staring at the drawings Clay had given me over the last few months.

The words he had written burned into my brain and I felt the sting of tears in my eyes. I thought over and over again about the look on his face when I left him this afternoon. He looked like I was killing him.

Why did things have to get so out of control? I replayed things in a continuous loop in my head. The first time I met Clay. The Fall Formal. The way he held me the first time we said ‘I love you.’ Falling asleep in his arms at the cabin.