Finding Us (Finding #1)(22)
Author: Megan Smith

“Remembered what?”

“About your parents.”

I feel him tense again, “You know what happened to them?”

I pull back to gaze up at Knox, he has an uncertain look on his face. “No, but will you tell me about them?”

“No.” He snaps at me.

Both of our arms drop from around each other. I wrap my arms around myself and wait to see if he’ll say anything more. Knox paces back and forth, running his hands through his hair, I’ve noticed he does this a lot when he’s stressed about something or pissed off.

Eventually he stops and just studies me, it’s like he is begging me to just understand why this is so hard for him, but I can’t. “I can’t tell you about them Jas. I want to but it’s something I can’t do. It’s something I won’t do. If this is a deal breaker for us then I get it.”

Deal breaker? There has to be a deal to be broken first. As far as I’m concerned we haven’t spoken about one. I’m really thinking that I must space out a lot because I swear I always feel like I’m missing something. Kind of like when you daydream in class and the teacher calls on you for an answer and you don’t have one. That’s exactly how a feel.

“Knox, we’re just two people who are attracted to each other. So what deal is there to break?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you are infuriating?” He asks with balled fists.

“Nope,” I say with a sly smile and a wink. I pat him on the shoulder then leave him in the bathroom to go grab my things off the bed so I can get changed into something more comfortable.

When Knox emerges from the bathroom he has his shirt off and he’s barefoot. My mouth goes dry at the sight of him, I’ve seen him in less before but I don’t think I could ever get sick of looking at his muscular sculpted body with his tattoos. As I go past him he slaps me on the ass. “Hurry up.”

I look over my shoulder, “Hurry up for what?”

“I need a back rub.”

“Ha! You’re joking right?”

“I’m serious.” I hear him say as I shut the door.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for riding the Knox rollercoaster.

After finally getting Jasmine to lay in bed with me I convince her to give me a back rub. I’d do anything to keep her hands on me. I freaked for a second and just needed a minute to gather myself.

I turn on my side facing Jasmine and I listen to her steady breathing after I finally persuade her to sleep in the bed with me. For a while there I didn’t think she would but she eventually gave in. My fingers are itching to run up and down her bare arm but I know that I shouldn’t. I flip back on my back and replay the conversation with Rex before I came running after her.

“Dude, what’s your problem?” Rex says as he gets up in my face.

He’s pissed. I get that he is friends with her and that she is his girlfriend’s best friend, but he’s my brother. That should stand for more.

“You know what my problem is so back the f**k off.” I spit back and give him a slight push but he doesn’t budge.

“She isn’t involved in that shit Knox, and you know it. Stop trying to involve her in your scheme. She knows nothing about it.” Rex retorts right back but just loud enough for me to hear.

We are at an impasse. He’s right. I don’t blame her for what happened but I blame her family, and my only way to make them pay for what happened is through her. Rex doesn’t agree with me at all.

He takes a step back and just shakes his head.

My mind starts a battle again for the hundredth time. I’m falling for her. I know it deep down inside.

I want to fall for her, but I shouldn’t.

I deserve to be happy again, and I know she can make me feel that way.

So once again, I give in and go after her.

I want her.

I need her.

I have to have her.

11

Before I even open my eyes I’m smiling. Knox’s body heat and smell is intoxicating. I finally agreed to share Knox’s bed last night. I’m so tired of fighting my feelings for him so I’m giving in to them. I may have made a deal with the devil himself but you live and you learn. Right?

“Why are you smiling so damn early in the morning?” Knox says in a sexy morning voice.

I open my eyes and turn my head towards his voice. “I always wake up with a smile on my face.”

Knox cocks an eyebrow at me.

I reach behind me, grabbing for my pillow to hit him with, but before I can make contact with him he grabs it from me and throws it on the floor. In lightning speed he has me pinned underneath him. I momentarily freeze, he’s completely caught me off guard.

“Jas…” Knox trails off.

The sound of his voice relaxes me. I reach up and run my hands through Knox’s hair.

He gives me a little more of his weight as he leans down but keeps enough of it off me by propping up on his elbows on either side of my head. He’s just staring at me with desire in his eyes. No words are exchanged. We stay like this for what seems like hours but it’s only minutes.

Eventually I start to feel slightly uncomfortable, not because he’s just watching but because there is a warm tingling feeling growing more and more intense between my legs and I need it released. I start to wiggle just a little, looking for something, anything to release the pressure that Knox is causing. As I move, Knox’s eyes start to roll in the back of his head and he drops his head on my shoulder and buries his face in my neck.

I feel him take a few deep breaths and then I feel his lips on my neck. He places hot open mouthed kisses and then I feel his warm tongue licking up my neck to right below my ear. I can’t help but squirm. This time when I do Knox hisses in my ear and I realize the reason my desire for him is skyrocketing.

“Jas,” Knox says through his teeth.

“Hmm,”

“If you keep doing that then things are going to happen and I can’t promise that I’ll be able to stop, so please, for the both of us, stop f**king moving.”

Well now that he put it like that maybe it’s better if I concentrate on something other than the fact that the guy who is invading my dreams is lying on top of me and he’s pressed up against where my body is screaming for him. I want Knox more than anything but right here and right now isn’t the time or the place.

“What are you thinking?” Knox whispers against my neck.

I give him a playful smile, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

He rocks his h*ps into me and it’s my turn to hiss. My legs start to shake and I dig my finger nails into his back.