Flawed Love

I take a deep breath and then disappear into the bathroom to change. I drop my jeans and baggy shirt, and slide on the dress. It’s tight at the top, making my breasts poke up way too far. The swell is on view for everyone to see. The black dress stays tight right down to my waist and then it flares out. It’s above my knees, and seems like a 50s-style dancing dress, but it is pretty.

With a deep breath, I turn and glance in the mirror.

I lose my breath.

That girl . . . she’s not me. No . . . that girl is up there with Missy and Eva. She’s the kind of girl who can catch a man’s eye. It can’t be me.

“Here,” Eva says, barging in. She stops when she sees me. “Holy . . . look at you.”

“I don’t know,” I breathe.

She takes my shoulders and spins me around. “Come on, your beau just got here.”

My heart starts hammering. “I don’t know, it’s just a party and . . .”

“Trust me, you’ll knock them all dead.”

I swallow and take the shoes she thrusts at me. They’re strappy and silver, but not too high, thankfully. I quickly put them on, then I take the purse she hands me that matches the outfit.

“Don’t wreck my stuff, or I’ll kick your ass,” she warns as I rush out.

There she is. That’s my true sister.

I wave at her and rush down the stairs, trying not to trip as I go. I reach the bottom and stop dead as I see Jack, standing, looking handsome in a pair of denim jeans and a tight black tee. He’s smiling big, and when he sees me, something happens in his eyes. Something amazing. They flash with shock, then surprise, then they grow warm. Really warm.

“Emalie,” he breathes. “Wow. Just . . . wow.”

I smile shyly for the first time in my life, and I honestly don’t know what to do. I fidget and he notices, so he comes over with a warm smile and gently puts his hands on my shoulders, leaning forward and brushing his lips against my forehead. “You look amazing.”

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“Let’s get going.”

He turns me and I catch my Mom smiling at me with pride. She’s never done that before. It feels good. My chest swells and I smile at her, before letting Jack lead me out. He takes me to a small, red convertible and opens the door for me. “My lady.” He grins.

“Thank you, kind sir.”

I climb in and he goes around, jumping in his side. He pulls out onto the road and I laugh with joy as the wind blows through my hair. Jack laughs and reaches over, taking my hand. My chest swells with happiness and I have decided this just might be the best moment of my life. We ride, talking and laughing the entire way to the party being held at a frat house.

“You ready?” Jack asks, getting out of the car.

“Yes.”

I’m nervous, so horribly nervous. What if someone teases me? What if they think I’m a big joke? God. This is scary and exhilarating all at the same time. Jack opens my door for me and then reaches in, extending his hand. “Are you ready?”

“I really don’t know.”

He smiles. “Stick with me. I’ll take care of you.”

God, I hope so.

~*~*~*~

“This frat house is huge,” I say to Jack, keeping hold of his hand as we walk through.

“Yeah. I can’t wait for college for this.”

“Me too.” I smile, sipping the beer from the plastic red cup he got me.

“Hey,” he says, turning and placing his hands on my hips. “Thanks for coming tonight.”

“Thanks for inviting me,” I say, staring into his eyes.

“I like you, Emalie,” he says, his voice husky.

“I like you too.”

“I know we’ve only been on a few dates, but there’s something about you . . . I was wondering if . . . I dunno . . . you might consider being my girlfriend?”

Oh. My. God. Jack wants me to be his girlfriend.

“I might consider it.” I grin.

“You know,” he says, stepping closer. “I never got that kiss the other night.”

“So you didn’t,” I breathe.

My heart stammers. Mostly because he’s going to kiss me, but also because Rainer took the kiss Jack never got to give me. Still, I want to kiss Jack. A lot. His fingers go from my hips to slide up my sides and I shiver. I’m not used to this kind of attention and it freaks me out in a thrilling way.

“Can I give it to you now?” he whispers, reaching up and stroking his finger down my cheek.

“S-s-s-s-sure.”

He steps closer until his body is flush against mine and his fingers are splayed out over my hips. I tremble in his arms and I raise my hands to tangle in his shirt. As he tilts his head, I let my eyes flutter closed.

At the first touch of his lips, I’m . . . disappointed. The build-up to this moment has been intense, but there’s something missing in his kiss. My heart isn’t racing. He doesn’t have that intense smell that heightens all my senses like . . .

Oh God.

Like Rainer.

Jack’s tongue slides out and tangles with mine, and I kiss him back. But I know it’s not the same. If Rainer had never kissed me, this would probably be an incredible moment, but instead I had expectations, and they’re not being met. It’s not that Jack can’t kiss. He can. His lips are soft. His tongue is gentle. He’s doing everything right, but the most important thing is missing.

The spark.

Maybe I just need to give it time. I like Jack. Really, I do. He wants me to be his girlfriend and I want that. The kissing will get more intense the more time I spend with him, I’m sure of it.

“Hey, fucker!”

Jack is torn out of my arms before I know what’s happening, and I turn quickly to see Rainer driving a fist into his mouth. Whoa. Hang on.

“What the fuck are you doin’ here, kissing some chick when you’re supposed to be dating Emalie?”

Oh. My. Lord.

He doesn’t know Jack was kissing me.

“Rainer,” I say, my voice shaky.

He stops mid-punch and his body freezes. He drops Jack, who is now bleeding from the lip and panting with rage, and turns to me. His entire body freezes as his gaze moves over me. He doesn’t have the same gentle look Jack had; instead, he’s . . . horrified. He hates it. He’s looking at me as if he doesn’t know me.

“Emalie?”

I swallow.

“What the fuck did you do to your face?”

My eyes flash with pain, I know they do, but he doesn’t see it. He’s too angry.

“I’m on a date,” I whisper, trying to suck back my rage.

“A date?” He barks a laugh. “Looking like a cheaper version of your slutty sister? What the fuck has gotten into you?”

I can’t take it.

I just . . . can’t.

I step forward, raise my hand and slap him. His head swings to the side and he hisses in pain. “Fuck you, Rainer,” I spit. “Fuck you and your shit. How dare you? How . . .” My voice breaks off and tears burst forth. Rainer’s eyes widen. “Tonight,” I croak. “Tonight my mom was proud of me, my sister spoke with me, and that man”—I point to Jack—“thought I looked great. Then you, always you, come in here and ruin it all. You and your stupid, blond girlfriend. I’m done.”