For the Sake of Their Son (The Alpha Brotherhood #5)(36)
Author: Catherine Mann

Gianna? He hadn’t even thought of her other than when Lucy Ann mentioned her. But looking back, he realized how bad his engagement would have looked to her, how that must have played a role in her keeping quiet about the pregnancy.

This was likely where the groveling came in. “I’m sorry.”

“For which part? The engagement? Or the fact you didn’t contact me— Hell, forget I said that.” She leaned forward to kiss him.

If they kissed, the discussion would be over, opportunity missed. He scooped her up in his arms and pivoted, settling her into his lap as he sat on the stone seat in the corner.

She squawked in protest but he pressed on. “You expected me to follow you? Even after you said—and I quote—‘I don’t ever want to lay eyes on your irresponsible ass ever again’?”

“And you’ve never said anything in the heat of the moment that you regretted later?”

Groveling was all well and good, but he wasn’t taking the full blame for what shook down these past months. “If you regretted those words, it sure would have been helpful if you’d let me know.”

“This is my whole point. We’re both so proud, neither one of us could take the steps needed to repair the damage we did. Yes, I am admitting that we both were hurt. Even though you seemed to recover fast with Gianna―” she gave him that tight smile again “―I acknowledge that losing our friendship hurt you, as well. But friendship isn’t enough to build a marriage on. So can we please go back to the friends-with-benefits arrangement?”

“Damn it, Lucy Ann—”

She traced his face with her fingers. “Do you know what I think?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “I think you don’t believe in fairy tales after all. The dates, the romance… It has actually been a game for you after all. A challenge, a competition. Something to win. Not Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty.”

“I suspect I’ve been led into a trap.” He’d thought he’d been following all the right signs and taking the steps to fix this, but he’d only seemed to dig a bigger hole for himself.

“Well, you followed my bread crumbs.” Her joke fell flat between them, her eyes so much sadder than he’d ever dreamed he could make them.

“So you’re sure you don’t want to marry me?”

She hesitated, her pulse leaping in her neck. “I’m sure I don’t want you to propose to me.”

Her rejection stunned him. Somehow he’d expected her to say yes. He’d thought… Hell, he’d taken her for granted all over again and he didn’t know how to fix this. Not now. He needed time to regroup. “If I agree to stop pressing for marriage, can we keep having incredible sex with each other?”

“’Til the end of the month.”

“Sex for a few weeks? You’re okay with sleeping together with an exit strategy already in place?”

“That’s my offer.” She slid from his lap, stepping back. Away. Putting distance between them on more than just one level. “Take it or leave it.”

“Lucy Ann, I’m happy as hell to take you again and again until we’re both too exhausted to argue.” Although right now, he couldn’t deny it. He wanted more from her. “But eventually we’re going to have to talk.”

Eleven

Lucy sprawled on top of Elliot in bed, satiated, groggy and almost dry from their shower, but not ready for their evening together to end. Elliot seemed content to let the proposal discussion go—for tonight. So this could well be the last uncomplicated chance she had to be with him.

The ceiling fan click, click, clicked away their precious remaining seconds together, the lights of Monaco glittering through the open French doors, the Cote d’Azur providing a breathtaking vista. Who wouldn’t want to share this life with him? Why couldn’t she just accept his proposal? She hated how his offer of marriage made her clench her gut in fear. She should be happy. Celebrating. This would be the easy answer to bringing up Eli together. They were best friends. Incredible lovers. Why not go with the flow? They could take a day to see Cannes with the baby, and she could snap pictures…savor the things she’d been too busy to notice in the early years of traveling with Elliot.

Yet something held her back. She couldn’t push the word yes free. Every time she tried, her throat closed up. She trusted him…yet the thought of reliving the past eleven months again, of living without him…

Her fingers glided along his closely shorn hair. “You could have been killed that day your hair got singed.”

“You’re not going to get rid of me that easily,” he said with a low chuckle and a stroke down her spine.

Ice chilled the blood in her veins at his words. “That wasn’t funny.”

“I’m just trying to lighten the mood.” He angled back to kiss the tip of her nose, then look into her eyes. “I’m okay, Lucy Ann. Not a scratch on me that day.”

She’d been in South Carolina when it had happened, her belly swelling with his child and her heart heavy with the decision of when to tell him about the baby. “That doesn’t make it any less terrifying.”

He grinned smugly. “You do care.”

“Of course I care what happens to you. I always have. There’s no denying our history, our friendship, how well we know each other.” How could he doubt that, no matter what else they’d been through? “But I know something else. You’re only interested in me now because I’m telling you no. You don’t like being the one left behind.”

Breathlessly, she finished her rant, stunned at herself. Her mouth had been ahead of her brain. She hadn’t even realized she felt that way until the words came rolling out.

“That’s not a very nice thing to say,” he said tightly.

“But is it true?” She cupped his face.

He pulled her hands down gently and kissed both palms. “I already offered to stop racing. I meant it. I’m a father now and I understand that comes with responsibilities.”

Responsibilities? Is that what they were to him? But then, in a way, that’s what she’d always been since he got out of reform school, since he’d offered her a job as his assistant even though at the time she hadn’t been qualified for the job. He’d given it to her out of friendship—and, yes, the sense of obligation they felt to look out for each other.

That had been enough for a long time, more than either of them had gotten from anyone else in their lives. But right now with her heart in her throat, obligation didn’t feel like nearly enough to build a life on.