For the Sake of Their Son (The Alpha Brotherhood #5)(40)
Author: Catherine Mann

He kissed her once, firmly, reassuringly, then walked her away from the sidelines, the crowd parting, or maybe someone made the path for them. She couldn’t think of anything but the man beside her, the warmth of him, the sound of his heartbeat, the scent of his aftershave and perspiration.

Tears of relief streaming down her face, she didn’t bother asking where they were going. She trusted him, the father of her child, and honestly didn’t care where they went as long as she could keep her hands on him, her cheek pressed to his chest, the fire-retardant material of his uniform bristly against her skin. He pushed through a door into a private office. She didn’t care whose or how he’d chosen the stark space filled with only a wooden desk, a black leather sofa and framed racing photos.

Briskly, he closed and locked the door. “Lucy Ann, deep breaths or you’re going to pass out. I’m okay.” His voice soothed over her in waves. “It was just a minor accident. The other guy’s axle broke and he slammed into me. Everyone’s fine.”

She swiped her wrists over her damp eyes, undoubtedly smearing mascara all over her face. “When there’s smoke—possibly fire—involved, I wouldn’t call that minor.”

Elliot cradled her face in his gloved hands. “My hair didn’t even get singed.”

“I’m not in a joking mood.” She sketched jerky hands over him, needing to touch him.

“Then help me out.” He stalled one of her hands and kissed her palm. “What can I say to reassure you?”

“Nothing,” she decided. “There’s nothing to say right now.”

It was a time for action.

She tugged her hand free and looped her arms around his neck again and drew his face down to hers. She kissed him. More than a kiss. A declaration and affirmation that he was alive. She needed to connect with him, even if only on a physical level.

“Lucy Ann,” he muttered against her mouth, “are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Are you planning to go back to the race?” she asked, gripping his shoulders.

“My car’s in no shape to race. You know that. But are you cert—”

She kissed him quiet. She was so tired of doubts and questions and reservations. Most of all, she couldn’t bear for this to be about the past anymore. To feel more pain for him. For herself. For how damn awful their childhoods had been—his even worse than hers.

Hell, she’d lived through those years with him, doing her best to protect him by taking the brunt of the blame when she could. But when the adults wouldn’t step up and make things right, there was only so much a kid could do.

They weren’t children any longer, but she still couldn’t stand to think of him getting hurt in any way. She would do anything to keep danger away, to make them both forget everything.

At this moment, that “anything” involved mind-blowing sex against the door. Fast and intense. No fun games or pretty fairy tales. This was reality.

She tugged at his zipper, and he didn’t protest this time. He simply drew back long enough to tug his racing gloves off with his teeth. With her spine pressed to the door, he bunched up her silky dress until a cool breeze blew across her legs. A second later, he twisted and snapped her panties free, the scrap of lace giving way to him as fully as she did.

But she took as much as she gave. She nudged the zipper wider, nudging his uniform aside until she released his erection, steely and hot in her hand. Then, he was inside her.

Her head thunked against the metal panel, her eyes sliding closed as she lost herself in sensation. She glided a foot along his calf, up farther until her leg hitched around him, drawing him deeper, deeper in a frenzied meeting of their bodies.

All too soon, the pleasure built to a crescendo, a wave swelling on the tide of emotions, fear and adrenaline. And yes, love. She buried her face in his shoulder, trying to hold back the shout rolling up her throat. His hoarse encouragement in her ear sent pleasure crashing over her. Feeling him tense in her arms, shudder with his own completion, sent a fresh tingle of aftershocks through her. Her body clamped around him in an instinctive need to keep him with her.

With each panting breath, she drew in the scent of them. His forehead fell to rest against the door, her fingers playing with the close-shorn hair at the base of his neck. Slowly, her senses allowed in the rest of the world, the dim echo outside reminding her they couldn’t hide in here forever.

They couldn’t hide from the truth any longer.

Even as she took him now, felt the familiar draw of this man she’d known for as long as she could remember, she also realized she didn’t belong here in this world now. She couldn’t keep him because she couldn’t stay.

No matter how intrinsic the connection and attraction between them, this wasn’t the life she’d dreamed of when they’d built those fairy-tale forts and castles. In her fantasies, they’d all just looked like a real home. A safe haven.

She loved him. She always had. But she’d spent most of her adult life following him. It was time to take charge of her life, for herself and for her son.

It was time to go home.

As Elliot angled back and started to smile at her, she captured his face in her hands and shook her head.

“Elliot, I can’t do this anymore, trying to build a life on fairy tales. I need something more, a real life, and maybe that sounds boring to you, but I know who I am now. I know the life I want to live and it isn’t here.”

His eyes searched hers, confused and a little angry. “Lucy Ann—”

She pressed her fingers to his mouth. “I don’t want to argue with you. Not like last time. We can’t do that to each other again—or to Eli.”

He clasped her hand, a pulse throbbing double time in his neck. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

God, she wanted to believe he could, but right now with the scent of smoke clinging to his clothes and the adrenaline still crackling in the air, she couldn’t see any other way. “No, Elliot. I’m afraid not.”

Slowly, he released her hand. His face went somber, resigned. He understood her in that same perfect and tragic way she understood him. He already knew.

They’d just said goodbye.

* * *

The next day, Elliot didn’t know how he was going to say goodbye. But the time had come. He sat on Aunt Carla’s front porch swing while Lucy Ann fed Eli and put him down for a nap.

God, why couldn’t he and Lucy Ann have had some massive argument that made it easier to walk away, like before?