Four Summers(8)
Author: Nyrae Dawn

I’m quiet through the second movie. Quiet still as we pack up. Quiet the whole drive home. When we get back to The Village, Nathaniel whispers in my ear, “What time do you want to meet tonight?”

I know right here what I have to do. I want nothing more than to keep having my nights with him, but I know I can’t. If I don’t look out for myself, no one else will. To protect my heart, I look at him. Study his eyes, his dimple, wish I could pull his necklace out from under his shirt to see what it is. I don’t do any of that. Instead I tell him, “I can’t come out tonight. I can’t meet you anymore.”

He doesn’t stop me when I walk away.

The next day Dad tells me to clean the cabin the old couple was in—that they left. I remember them sitting on the porch together that night, and all the other times I’ve seen them just enjoying each other for the past month. Loving each other.

I don’t know why, but I cry the whole time I clean their cabin.

Chapter Seven

I miss the night. Miss the stars. Miss talking to Nathaniel.

For the past couple weeks I’ve done a good job ignoring him. I help Dad as much as I can, even when he doesn’t ask me to. Alec is off with Brandon when Sadie isn’t and he doesn’t try to get me to come. I’m surprised he hasn’t pushed me, asked what’s going on, but he’s too busy playing ball and trying to impress the summer boys to care about much else.

It hurts more than I’m willing to admit.

Nathaniel’s tries to talk to me a few times and I always reply. I’m nice and professional just like Dad expects us to be to our guests, but that’s as far as it goes. I wonder if he misses me the way I miss him, but then I try to push those thoughts away. They won’t do me any good.

A week left. That’s all I have until they’re gone and I can work on forgetting I ever knew them. Sadie will forget Brandon and date someone from our school and Alec will be my best friend again and things will be as though the Chase boys never happened.

I’m sitting on one of the docks with my feet in the water. It’s dusk. I love this time of day because it’s the bridge from day to night. Day where I work at The Village and know that’s all my life will ever be and night where I think I can be anywhere else in the world.

Footsteps sound from behind me and I flinch, wondering who it’s going to be.

“Night games tonight.” Alec sits next to me, a huge smile on his face. “Last man standing. Everyone’s coming down. It’s going to be awesome.”

We’ve always played a lot of night games in the summer, but haven’t done it much this year. It’s normally one of my favorite things. We have the area marked off from part of an empty field, not too far from The Village and going into a certain area in the woods. There are forts out there from when we were younger, along with an old house with tons of places to get lost in.

I love Last Man Standing.

Alec and I always own it. There are two main groups, but we usually break up in two man teams on each group. We’re always on the same team and we almost always win. We play with paint ball guns, in full gear.

The moon is pretty bright out here, but each group is still allowed a flashlight. Dad has portable lights they we set up in a few spots, too. It doesn’t give us too much light, but enough. It’s a cutthroat game. Someone almost always gets hurt.

For the first time since the drive-in, excitement burns through me. I want to play. I want to win.

“Sadie and a few of the other girls aren’t playing. They’re setting up the flag. You got your paint gear? Some of the others are lending theirs to Brandon and Nathaniel.”

All the happiness deflates from my muscles. How could I have forgotten Nathaniel would be here? Of course he would want to play. “I don’t feel like playing.”

“What? You never skip out on Last Man Standing, Gates. What’s up with that?”

“Umm… You never call me ‘Gates.’ What’s up with that?”

Alec grabs my hand when I try to stand up, but I pull it away. He gets up right behind me. “I’ve been a jerk, Charlie. I’m sorry. It’s just…he’s cool. You know he’ll probably play college ball?”

“So?” I shout. “You could play, too. I know it. Don’t stick around here and you’ll be out there doing the same thing!”

Alec moves in front of me, blocking my way. “It’s not that easy and you know it. Our lives are here. Plus, I don’t want to leave. I wasn’t saying that. It’s just…”

He doesn’t continue so I ask, “What?”

“Never mind. You wouldn’t get it. Just play with us, Charlie. It won’t be the same without you out there. You know it. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever played it without you.”

Alec gives me the sweet smile that’s impossible to say no to. He has this innocent, little boy look to him that the girls love. But the thing about Alec is, most of the time, he’s not working it. He doesn’t do it on purpose. He’s just sweet and it’s part of who he is.

No matter what, I love him and I do want to play this game of Last Man Standing with my best friend. I can do this. I’m not a runner, I remind myself. I can deal with a night around Nathaniel. Looking at Alec, I say, “Okay. I’m in.”

He pulls me into a hug and we set off to get ready for the game.

Once we get everyone all set up, the big group of about twenty meet in the middle of the field. We’re all decked out in camo clothes and paint gun gear. It’s not completely dark yet and the lights definitely help.

Nathaniel hasn’t tried to talk to me the whole time and I haven’t tried either. It makes me sad, but it’s for the best. I know it. I just have to keep reminding myself of it.

Everyone’s arguing about team captains, but I don’t pay much attention. It’s not until I hear them announce that the two captains are Alec and Nathaniel that I perk up. I’m suddenly disappointed I won’t get to be on Nathaniel’s team.

Alec wins the coin flip, meaning he gets to choose first. The rest of us stand in a group with him and Nathaniel in front of us. I try not to look at him, but my eyes keep darting his way.

“Come on, Andrews! Choose!” someone yells at Alec.

I’m about to step forward to walk to his side when I hear Alec say, “Brandon.”

My heart stops. Everyone suddenly gets quiet like they can’t believe what happened. Alec has never, ever not picked me first for something. My cheeks get hot, but I try to stamp down the embarrassment.

Brandon walks over to Alec and they do this stupid boy, shake-hand, high-five thing and I’m about to leave. Screw Last Man Standing. Screw Alec and Brandon and even Nathaniel, too. Alec knew I didn’t want to come here tonight; the least he could do is not throw me for a loop by embarrassing me.

“Charlotte.”

My eyes shoot over to Nathaniel and he’s staring at me, hard. My heart is running a race in my chest and I hear Alec in the background saying, “What? Charlie’s always on my team!”

“Then you should have picked her,” Nathaniel tosses back, still looking at me.

“Everyone knew I would!”

But he didn’t. He always does, but this time Alec didn’t pick me.

“Then I guess you should have picked her first.” Nathaniel nods his head, like he’s calling me over, and I walk right over and stand next to him. My feelings are hurt that Alec didn’t pick me first and my heart is soaring that Nathaniel did, but I’m also trying to ground the freaking flight because I am not supposed to be feeling this way about him.

“Charlie?” Alec says and there’s a little bit of shock and regret in his voice, but I feel the same thing. It’s just a game and he didn’t pick me.

“It’s cool. We got this,” Brandon tells him. I glance at Alec and he looks at me, something strange in his eyes that I don’t understand. There’s never been a time I couldn’t understand Alec, but right now I don’t.

And then, we break eye contact. He looks at the group of people and picks someone else. Nathaniel asks me who he should pick and I tell him who the best is. Back and forth we trade picks until everyone is in a group, and we have our two man teams decided. The goal is for one team to work together to try and take out the other, then it goes all Lord of the Flies and we go after each other.

Once there are only two, two-man teams left, we go for the conch with the flag. Whichever group gets it, wins.

Nathaniel looks at me, competitiveness that matches my own glimmering in his eyes. We’re going to win. There’s no question about it.

All hell has broken loose. This is unlike any game of Last Man Standing we’ve ever played. People are brutal and it’s getting darker and darker but we still don’t have a winner. There’s one group left on the other team, Alec and Brandon, and then me and Nathaniel on ours.

The flag is in the middle of the field, waiting for us, as Nathaniel and I hide behind one of the forts on one side of the field. We have no idea where Brandon and Alec are.

“How good a shot is your brother?” I ask. Everything else is put behind us out here. It’s like life or death and even though I can tell he wants to ask me why I’ve been ignoring him and I have the urge to either run and hide or just grab him and steal my very first kiss, he doesn’t ask and I try to ignore my instincts.

Out here, the only instinct I can let grab me is the one telling me to win.

“He’s all right. Not horrible but not great.”

“You better than him?”

“Absolutely. What about Alec?”

I shake my head. “Not better or worse, either. We’re pretty evenly matched, but he’s good. Really good.”

“So that’s your way of saying you’re good?” Nathaniel smiles.

I shrug. “I guess.” We pause for a few minutes and then I ask, “What’s the plan?”

Just then, Nathaniel grabs my arm. My first thought is they snuck up on us, but he points to the sky and I see the tail end of a shooting star. I love shooting stars.

I can’t help but smile. He saw one and knew I would like it.

“I think that’s our sign. I say we go for it. They’re probably sitting somewhere waiting to snipe us, but let’s let them be the passive ones who sit back and wait. We’ll run out there, get it, and win.”

“It’s a risk.”

“Not if you run fast,” he laughs.

He’s right. We can sit here forever waiting for them to find us or we can go out there and take our win. I’m determined to grab it with both hands and own it. But we can’t let them shoot us either. If we do, it doesn’t matter if we get the flag or not.

“Let’s do it.”

Nathaniel grabs my hand. “Run like hell. Don’t look back. Leave your gun—”

“What? I can’t leave my gun. How will I shoot them?”

“You won’t need to. I’ll have your back. I’ll be right there and I’ll take out anyone who gets you in their sights. You get the flag and we got this, Charlotte.”