Gone With the Nerd (Nerds, #4)(15)
Author: Vicki Lewis Thompson

His first thought—that Zoe had circled back—died as he measured the heavy footfall. From the rhythm he could tell it was a two-footed animal and not a four-footed one. The fine hairs on the back of his neck quivered.

Had Bigfoot returned? He glanced toward the cabin and wished he’d reminded Zoe to lock the door. The footsteps were coming his way, though, and not going toward the cabin, so she was in no immediate danger.

He, on the other hand, could be. He was close to the tree, but not close enough to hide behind it. Dry pine needles were everywhere underfoot. Moving would give away his position, so he was stuck right where he was. Maybe the shadow of the tree would disguise him.

He had no reason to be afraid, not really. He could stop shaking any time now. Everything he’d read about the Northern California Sasquatch had emphasized that they were not dangerous. But still—corning face-to-face with a creature fourteen feet tall, a creature with the strength to annihilate him, would be unnerving. A rogue Sasquatch wasn’t entirely out of the question, either.

One good thing was happening, though. As the footsteps grew closer and louder, Flynn’s erection wilted. No problem in that department anymore.

Whoever—or whatever—was coming toward him was almost here, maybe only about five yards from the tree.

Flynn’s breathing seemed unnaturally loud, so he held his breath. And of course he was wearing a white shirt, which would make him more visible in the dark.

Maybe he should take off the shirt. Yeah, right. And do what? Eat it? He tried to gauge the direction of the wind, but there seemed to be no wind at all. Bigfoot had a highly developed sense of smell, and … wait a minute! Bigfoot was supposed to stink! Flynn couldn’t smell a thing. But then again, he wasn’t breathing. Of course he couldn’t smell a thing.

The footsteps approached the tree, came around the tree…

"Whoa!" A tall kid in baggy jeans with his shirttail hanging out slid to a halt beside the tree. "You scared the pee out of me, dude!"

Flynn let out his breath. "Likewise." A kid. A teenager. Probably Luanne’s older brother, Jeff, alias Frankenstein. He had his hair waxed into little spikes all over his head, and a heavy silver chain hung around his neck. Apparently Jeff liked walking around the woods at night just like his sister.

"Sorry about that, man." The kid looked him over. "I’m going to take a wild guess that you’re staying in the rental cabin for the weekend. Am I right?"

Flynn nodded. "I’m going to take a wild guess that you’re Jeff."

"You’ve heard of me already? Awesome!"

"Luanne came by earlier."

"Oh. Well, don’t go believing whatever she said. She’s got an imagination that won’t quit. I’ll bet she was all ‘He’s so weird, I call him Frankenstein.”"

Flynn tried not to smile.

"She said that, didn’t she? She’s such a brat."

Flynn decided to change the subject. "She said you were out on a date."

Jeff looked startled. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, that’s right. Just got back a little while ago. Thought I’d, like, take a walk."

"Me, too." Flynn realized this could have turned out much worse. Jeff could have come along a few minutes later. Or several minutes earlier.

"I heard there was a Bigfoot sighting tonight," Jeff said. "So I thought I’d check it out. You spot anything?"

"Nope." Flynn wasn’t about to describe how the footprint had been obliterated. "Heard something, though."

"Yeah? Cool! Like what?"

"Something big running through the trees, and a howl."

"Awesome." Jeff shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on the heels of his running shoes. "Did it sound like a Bigfoot howl?"

"It sounded like the recordings I’ve heard." Now that Flynn wasn’t thinking about sex, he was once again eager for Sasquatch news. He was even a little sorry he’d sat on the footprint, although he wouldn’t change what had happened. If only he’d sat down a yard to the left or right though, he could have had both the footprint and the make-out session.

"Wish I’d been here," Jeff said.

Flynn was eternally glad Jeff hadn’t been around. "Have you sighted very many yourself?"

"Just once. I was, like, parking with my girlfriend Janice. We were . . . well, you know. And I smelled this disgusting smell, which I knew couldn’t be Janice because she always smells great." Jeff’s eyes glazed over. "Does she ever smell great. I read in school about pheromones, and I think that’s what Janice has going on. Dude, every time I’m around her I want to—"

"So you smelled something disgusting." Flynn didn’t want to hear about Janice and her pheromones. He had enough problems with Zoe’s pheromones, and he didn’t want to be reminded of the havoc that a woman could create simply by smelling good. Zoe did, too, and it drove him nuts.

"Yeah, and I’m all ‘what’s that smell?’ So I poked my head up and looked out the window. This big hairy thing was walking away through the woods."

"Amazing." The story gave Flynn goose bumps. First the footprint and now this. He wasn’t inclined to put stock in Margo’s claims, but Jeff was providing even more evidence. "How long ago was that?"

"Last summer, on July nineteenth. I know it was July nineteenth because that’s the night I finally talked Janice into … uh …" He paused and massaged the back of his neck. "Listen, dude, if you run into Janice while you’re here, I’d appreciate it if you’d, like, keep this conversation to yourself."

"Sure."

"The thing is, she doesn’t know I saw Bigfoot. I told her it must’ve been a skunk letting loose."

Flynn nodded. "Because you didn’t want to scare her."

"Damn straight I didn’t! Not considering the excellent progress I’d made to that point. If she’d thought I’d seen Bigfoot, she would’ve been all ‘yikes, I’m putting my clothes on right now!’" Jeff glanced at Flynn. "Am I right, dude?"

"Probably." The conversation had taken a turn that wasn’t helping Flynn at all. Any reference to sex made him think of Zoe. He should be thinking of Kristen. He should be fantasizing about Kristen. At the moment he couldn’t remember what she looked like. Pathetic.

"Well, guess I’d better get going," Jeff said. "I have to be at work early. We got a new shipment of Bigfoot action figures at the trading post and the boss wants them unpacked pronto. Like, people are clamoring for them. Not."

"I should leave, too." Although Flynn wasn’t sure he was ready to face Zoe’s pheromones.

"Yeah, your wife is probably all’ where’s that husband of mine? I hope Bigfoot didn ‘t eat him.’"

"We’re not married," Flynn said without thinking.

"Oh. Well, that’s cool. You don’t need, like, a marriage certificate to spend the weekend together. I can’t figure out why anyone would want to spend the weekend in Long Shaft, though."

"I was curious about the Bigfoot sightings."

"You came here because of Bigfoot? Awesome! Come on down to the trading post in the morning and I’ll give you a discount on a Bigfoot action figure. They’re supposed to be, like, for kids, but I think one would look great on your desk. A conversation piece."

"How did you know I have a desk?"

"Dude, no offense, but you have office geek written all over you. Nothing wrong with that. You probably make a whole lot more money than me. Bye." With a wave, Jeff loped off through the woods.

Flynn turned toward the cabin with a resigned sigh. With luck, Zoe had gone to bed. Then he had a vivid image of her in bed, wearing some filmy nightgown. Or maybe she didn’t wear anything at all.

Chapter Eleven

Teeth brushed and nerd pajamas on, Zoe propped a pillow against the headboard and leaned back as she picked up the script she’d brought to bed with her. She was also wearing the wire-framed glasses and had stuck a pencil behind her ear, although she didn’t know if that was a nerd thing to do or not. She’d have to ask Flynn in the morning.

Tonight they shouldn’t have anything more to do with each other. To that effect she’d closed her bedroom door. She thought Flynn would respect a closed door. He seemed like that type of guy.

And speaking of Flynn, where the hell was he? Unless he was making a big production out of his endeavor in the woods, he should be finished and back inside by now. She’d told herself not to think about it, but she couldn’t help thinking about it.

Who could blame her? Flynn Granger, her conservative, buttoned-down lawyer, was currently out among the pine trees masturbating. That didn’t fit her picture of him at all. It wasn’t dignified.

Well, that wasn’t her fault. She’d worked up the courage to suggest doing the job right, but he’d rediscovered his scruples. That was for the best. She really didn’t want to poach on Kristen’s territory. As wonderful as it might feel in the short term, she’d hate herself for it in the long term.

There was only one solution—to get back on track and concentrate on the reason she’d brought Flynn up here. She needed to read more of the script and get into character. Vera Parsons probably wouldn’t have asked Tony Bennetti to put his hand down her pants. Zoe didn’t know how Vera would react in a sexual situation, and she needed to know.

Pushing thoughts of Flynn out of her mind, she opened the script at the point where she and Flynn had stopped reading. Tony and Vera were still in the bedroom dealing with the attempted kidnapping. Now Zoe remembered the scene. She’d been trying to coach Flynn in how to play Tony with a little more swagger.

VERA

Don’t call me baby doll.

TONY

I call all women baby doll.

VERA

Which is exactly why I don’t want you to call me that. TONY

Why not? Because you’re not a woman?

VERA

Because I’m a scientist.

TONY

Is that some extra category? Last time I looked, that wasn’t one of the answers on the form down at the DMV.

VERA

My gender is totally irrelevant! Tony draws closer to Vera.

TONY

Gender is never irrelevant.

Vera’s resistance weakens as Tony moves in.

VERA

It’s … irrelevant in this case.

Tony leans down, preparing to kiss Vera.

TONY

I thought so, too. But you’re getting to me, baby doll.

Tony kisses Vera. Vera responds at first, then pushes Tony away.

VERA

That was completely unprofessional!

Tony grins, extremely proud of himself.

TONY

I’m a bodyguard, not an escort service. When it comes to women, I cherish my amateur standing.

Tony turns and leaves the room.

Zoe sighed. So that was how Vera reacted to being kissed. She pushed the guy away. That wasn’t exactly how Zoe had behaved a little while ago when Flynn had planted one on her. At first she’d done nothing, but at the moment when Vera would have shoved, Zoe had pulled.

And that was only the beginning. Matters had progressed rapidly after that, with Zoe inviting all sorts of things to happen. Vera would be scandalized by that scene on the forest floor.

Zoe heard the front door open and glanced up from the script. "Is that you, Flynn?" Maybe she should have locked the door, after all. But then she’d have been in the position of getting up to open it wearing her pajamas. True, they were ugly pajamas, a gaudy yellow and orange plaid, but she thought Flynn might get turned on anyway. He had a short fuse. Well, so did she.

"It’s me," Flynn said.

"Is everything … okay?" She didn’t know a polite way to ask if he’d successfully masturbated and could sleep better now.

He started down the hall, his footsteps steady. "Zoe, I didn’t do what you think I did out there."

"Why not?"

His footsteps stopped in front of his bedroom door. "Because … because I met Luanne’s brother." "Frankenstein was out walking in the woods?" "Yeah. Jeff. He’s a nice kid."

Zoe thought about what had been going on in the woods prior to her coming back to the cabin. "We dodged a bullet, huh?"

"You could say that, although he thinks we’re here for a romantic weekend, so maybe it wouldn’t have mattered."

A romantic weekend. Zoe couldn’t remember the last time she’d had one of those, and she wished she could be having one now. With Flynn. "So are you turning in?"

"It’s probably a good idea."

"Probably." She could feel the tension building between them, even through the closed door. She wanted to be with him, and she was almost certain he wanted to be with her.

"Good night, then."

She felt so sorry for him. He must feel incredibly frustrated. She wanted him to have some sort of peak experience that would be the equivalent of her cli**x in the woods, something a little fun and kinky that wouldn’t compromise his honor.

"Flynn, you’re welcome to the cobbler. I’m not planning to eat any of it. You can have the whole thing."

He sounded like he was choking and laughing at the same time. "I don’t want the cobbler, Zoe."

"Well, I don’t blame you. It would be very messy."

"Good God, you really are talking about what I was afraid you might be talking about. Now I’m not going to be able to look at that cobbler without thinking of sex."

"Sorry. I was only trying to help."

"Please don’t help." He cleared his throat. "So you don’t want to eat the cobbler?"

"Absolutely not. It would go right to my hips. You’re welcome to it, really."

"Then I’m going to put it down the garbage disposal, because God knows I won’t be able to eat it, either, now that you’ve superimposed American Pie onto it. I’d just as soon get rid of it."

‘Take all the time you need to do that."

"For the last time, I am not going to masturbate with the cobbler!"

"Okay." Zoe couldn’t help grinning. If she had a tape recording of that statement, she could blackmail Flynn forever. And she’d thought he was stodgy. Not even.

She listened to him stomp away and soon after heard the loud grinding of an ancient garbage disposal. Too bad about the cobbler. She’d have to tell Margo they ate the whole thing, to save Margo’s feelings. Obviously the cobbler, made only during a full moon, was supposed to be a treat.