Gone With the Nerd (Nerds, #4)(33)
Author: Vicki Lewis Thompson

She stopped breathing. This whole episode felt like a bad dream, but the cool night air on her face told her it was real. "You’re sure it’s not a bear?" ;

"Yeah."

She didn’t question that. Flynn knew his Sasquatches. "Why didn’t it hear us?"

"The wind. It’s blowing toward us, too, which is why it didn’t smell us, but we can smell it."

"No kidding. This is a perfect place for a Glade stickup."

"I want to get a little closer."

Hadn’t she just known that would happen? And if he was going closer, so was she. Love was not only blind, apparently, but terminally stupid, too. "First we should name him. Like we did George, the mouse."

"Okay. What?"

She pondered that a moment. Then she pondered another moment. Pondering meant they weren’t moving closer yet, which was a good thing. But finally she couldn’t stall anymore. "I think… Stanley."

"Stanley?"

"Nobody’s afraid of a guy named Stanley." "Then Stanley it is. Let’s go." Flynn started through the trees.

She followed, both hands on the flashlight and one gripping its feet in case she had to switch it on in a hurry. She tried to move silently, but the pine needles crunching under her shoes sounded like someone breaking up pieces of Styrofoam and she was breathing like an asthmatic. Sheesh. She kept trying to think of the monster as Stanley, but it wasn’t as much comfort as she would have liked.

Flynn cut the distance in half. Then he stopped.

Zoe stood there trembling. Now that they were within fifty yards, she had no doubt that the creature in the clearing was something she’d never seen before except in her nightmares. Huge and hairy, it nevertheless had a humanoid quality about it, sort of like a Neanderthal on steroids.

Flynn reached for her, drawing her into the circle of his arm. "It’s Sasquatch," he said, his voice quivering with excitement.

Stanley. But she didn’t say the name out loud. She didn’t want to risk the slightest sound carrying across to the clearing. The stench was so bad she longed to cover her nose, but she was afraid to make any movements that might give them away, so she breathed through her mouth as quietly as panic would allow.

One good thing—the smell was coming at them, because the wind was blowing in their direction. The wind was her friend right now, and she’d put up with the horrendous odor.

Then the wind died. The creature stood and sniffed the air. As Zoe stood paralyzed, it turned and looked in their direction.

Chapter Twenty-Four

The Sasquatch knew they were there! Flynn had no idea what would happen next, whether it would come to investigate or run away. He wasn’t sure which he wanted to happen, either. In spite of all his assurances to Zoe, he couldn’t guarantee that Bigfoot was harmless.

Zoe. In his excitement he’d nearly forgotten about her, but he was painfully reminded as her fingernails dug into his arm. From the corner of his eye he could see that in her other hand she wielded the flashlight like a club. It wouldn’t be much protection. And neither would he, really.

She was obviously terrified, and for her sake they should get out of here. Yet neither of them could run 35 miles an hour. If Bigfoot decided to chase them… Flynn seriously regretted putting Zoe in harm’s way.

The creature took a step in their direction.

Zoe moaned softly.

Sasquatch hesitated, then took another step toward them.

Flynn came to a decision. "Let’s go." Grabbing her hand, he clapped his free hand over his shirt pocket to keep his PDA from falling out. Then he took off running. That’s when he discovered something he’d known as a kid and forgotten as an adult. Running away from the scary thing only makes you more scared.

But he wasn’t about to turn around now. He doubted Zoe would let him anyway. Because of all the racket they were creating as they tore through the forest, he couldn’t tell whether Sasquatch was following them or not. He imagined he heard the creature’s labored breathing, but then he realized it was not Sasquatch doing all the heavy lung work. It was him.

Not knowing whether they were being chased increased his panic. But he couldn’t look back. If he did, they’d lose time, and if Sasquatch was on their tail, they couldn’t afford to lose even a second. So he continued to dash toward the cabin clutching Zoe’s hand as they both smacked against low-hanging branches and tripped over roots.

By the time they reached the cement steps leading up to the back door, Flynn’s lungs burned. He shoved Zoe up first. She fumbled with the doorknob and finally pushed the door open so hard she nearly fell down. Flynn barreled in after her and slammed the door shut. He also locked it, although a creature that large wouldn’t be stopped with a flimsy lock.

Then he listened as best he could, considering that his breath rattled in his throat louder than a street rod at an intersection. "I don’t… hear anything," he said. His panic began to ebb.

"Me … either." Zoe had collapsed into a sitting position on the floor. "Thank God."

From a distance came a mournful howl.

The faintness of the howl told Flynn that Bigfoot was moving away from them, not toward them. Unexpectedly, he felt sad about that. "He didn’t follow us. But he sounds so lonesome."

"Good! Lonesome is excellent! That means he’s not camped on our front porch hoping for an invite!"

"Maybe… maybe he was trying to communicate with us. And instead of responding, we ran away."

"I’m sure Stanley gets that a lot." Still gripping the flashlight, Zoe got unsteadily to her feet. "I mean, he’s very scary and he has no sense of personal hygiene. That’s bound to put people off."

Flynn kept picturing Sasquatch sitting alone in the small clearing. "If I were going to stay here, I’d try to make contact."

Zoe came over and laid her hand on his chest. "You don’t have to feel sorry for Stanley. He has relatives. He has a family. Remember what Margo said? She’s seen a female and a baby Bigfoot."

"Yeah, she did say that." Flynn wasn’t ready to trust anything that Margo claimed, though. She was using Bigfoot for personal glory. Flynn would never do that.

The howl came again, even fainter this time.

"See, I’ll bet Stanley’s going home now," Zoe said. "He probably had a little spat with Mrs. Stanley. He couldn’t very well walk into the local bar and have a beer, so he spent some time in that clearing, thinking things over."

Flynn smiled. "He did look like he was doing exactly that."

"He certainly did. Now he’s back home with the missus. And they’re having Sasquatch makeup sex." She shuddered. "Although the idea of sex with a body that smelly is extremely revolting."

"She probably likes the way he smells." Listening to the word sex come out of Zoe’s mouth was having a predictable effect on Flynn. He wrapped his arms around her and remembered what she’d said about putting their adrenaline rush to good use. "Thanks for going with me on a Sasquatch hunt. You were very brave."

"You’re welcome, but if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not do it again anytime soon."

He pulled her in close. "What would you rather do?"

"Make out on your Bigfoot sleeping bag."

The more Zoe thought about the sleeping bag, the more she wanted to turn the experience into a real adventure, the kind she’d always imagined and never had the nerve to do. When Flynn left to get the sleeping bag out of the car, she hurried into the bedroom and grabbed a condom from the box. Then she went out the front door, too.

The forest smelled of fresh pine, which was proof positive that Bigfoot had taken his smelly self far away. Moonlight filtered through the trees, an owl hooted nearby, and Jiminy Cricket chirped in the bushes.

The place had become a Disney set again, which was exactly how Zoe liked it. She felt like singing "Someday My Prince Will Come." Actually, he might come within the next twenty minutes or so, assuming he liked her plan.

He was lifting the sleeping bag out of the backseat as she approached, her footsteps crunching on dry pine needles. He turned with the sleeping bag in his arms. "What, you’ve changed your mind? Wait, I know. You want to carry it."

"No." She stepped closer and lowered her voice. No point in letting the whole neighborhood know about her

intentions. "I want you to unroll it, fur side up, on the backseat."

He looked puzzled. "I thought you wanted—"

"I do."

"In there?"

"Uh-huh."

He glanced from the backseat to Zoe and to the backseat again. "Interesting idea."

"I thought it might be."

"One problem. I don’t have a—"

"Right here." She pulled the condom out of her pants pocket.

He gazed at the condom for a moment. Then he looked at Zoe. "You have one hell of a sexual imagination, lady."

She wondered if he’d tell her that she was crazy, wanting to have sex in the backseat of the car when they had a perfectly good bed inside. "And?"

"And I really like that about you." He quickly took off the elastic strap holding the sleeping bag together and flipped the bag neatly onto the seat, fur side up.

She was pleasantly surprised that he was willing and eager to fall in with her plans. She wouldn’t have guessed it judging from their interactions over the past five years. But as of this weekend, her picture of him had totally changed.

"Let me get in first." She handed him the condom.

"I figured." His voice was husky with excitement. "You’re the one who went bonkers over the fur."

"When I was a teenager I had furry seat covers on my car." She climbed into the backseat and immediately pulled off her sweatshirt. The cool air hitting her br**sts made her n**ples tighten. She was already loving this concept.

He leaned down and draped one arm over the open door as he peered inside. "So you’ve done this before?"

"No. I wanted to, but I didn’t trust high school boys to be careful about the pregnancy thing." She kicked off her shoes and shimmied out of her sweatpants. "You’re bringing out all my repressed fantasies."

"I’m flattered. Unfortunately, I’ve never done this."

"Never? I thought all boys tried it at least once." She adjusted the sleeping bag on the seat.

"What can I say? I’m a late bloomer."

"Well, you sure did blossom nicely." She leaned back against the fur and pretended she was an Indian maiden about to be ravished by the local bad-boy warrior. "You’re willing to give this a try, though, right?"

"Oh yeah." He climbed into the car and closed the door with a soft click. Then he handed her the condom. "Hold on to that."

She wondered if bad-boy warriors carried condoms. Probably not, but she didn’t mind an anachronism or two. "This time I promise not to hide it between my thighs."

"I recommend holding it between your teeth." He took his PDA from his shirt pocket and laid it in the back window.

"I might need my mouth for other things. I’ll put it up in the back window next to your PDA." Scooting over to make room for him to sit, Zoe realized how small the space truly was. "This might be trickier than I thought."

"I suppose about now you’re wishing I’d stuck with the Town Car." He laid his glasses beside the PDA and started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Actually, no. I’ve changed my mind about that." The longer they were closed in here together, the more she liked it, even though the logistics would be challenging. He was right within touching distance. She ran a finger down the ridge of his spine.

He shivered. "Mm, nice." He pulled off his shoes without untying the laces. "What’s that about changing your mind?"

"I think you should have whatever car suits your personality."

"I’m thinking about a red Ferrari." He unzipped his pants.

"You’re not!"

"I am." Because he hadn’t put on his belt when they’d left for the Sasquatch hunt, all he had to do was wiggle out of his pants. That left him wearing his briefs, and those disappeared within seconds, too. "Where’s the condom?"

"Here." She handed it to him. Although he was close enough for her to put it on, she wanted to watch him do it, and he was right at eye level. But she acted as though she weren’t watching, in case she made him self-conscious. "A Ferrari?"

"Yeah."

Moisture pooled in her mouth as he rolled the condom down over his penis. If she had a video of that, she’d put it on a continuous loop. Oh, baby.

He completed the job with a snap of latex. Then he glanced down at her. "This could take some maneuvering."

"How about if you kneel here, between my legs?" She squirmed with eagerness as she guided him to the right position and flopped back on the furry surface. Squirming felt so good while she was lying on soft fur.

"I think I get the idea." He leaned forward, bracing his arms on either side of her head. Dipping down, he nibbled on her lips. "Wasn’t this one of the gold medal moves in gymnastics?"

"Want to give up?" She didn’t think so. Judging from the musky scent of male arousal, he was as excited about this prospect as she was. Pheromones swirled through the interior of the little car.

"Hell, no. I’m almost there. At least I think I am. I can’t see a damned thing."

"Leave the rest to me." She had no trouble finding his condom-covered penis. It was the most rigid thing within reach. When she took hold, he gasped. "Don’t worry," she said. "I’ve got you."

"It better be you. I hear there are raccoons in these woods."

"It’s me." She lifted her h*ps and reached for her sweatshirt on the floor. Once she bunched it under her, she was tilted at the perfect angle. Plus she was ultra-wet and ready to go. She made sure he was pointed in the right direction. "Rock forward."

"I thought you’d never ask." He pushed in slowly at first, and then with more confidence. "Not bad. Not bad at all."

"I would agree. I’d go so far as to say it’s very good."