Good Omens

What was looking over the hedge should be described at this point. What Anathema saw was, she said later, something like a prepubescent Greek god. Or maybe a Biblical illustration, one which showed muscular angels doing some righteous smiting. It was a face that didn’t belong in the twentieth century. It was thatched with golden curls which glowed. Michelangelo should have sculpted it.

He probably would not have included the battered sneakers, frayed jeans, or grubby T.. shirt, though.

“Who’re you?” she said.

“I’m Adam Young,” said Adam. “I live just down the lane.”

“Oh. Yes. I’ve heard of you,” said Anathema, dabbing at her eyes. Adam preened.

“Mrs. Henderson said I was to be sure to keep an eye out for you,” she went on.

“I’m well known around here,” said Adam.

“She said you were born to hang,” said Anathema.

Adam grinned. Notoriety wasn’t as good as fame, but was heaps better than obscurity.

“She said you were the worst of the lot of Them,” said Anathema, looking a little more cheerful. Adam nodded.

“She said, ‘You watch out for Them, Miss, they’re nothing but a pack of ringleaders. That young Adam’s full of the Old Adam,’ ” she said.

“What’ve you been cryin’ for?” said Adam bluntly.

“Oh? Oh, I’ve just lost something,” said Anathema. “A book.”

“I’ll help you look for it, if you like,” said Adam gallantly. “I know quite a lot about books, actually. I wrote a book once. It was a triffic book. It was nearly eight pages long. It was about this pirate who was a famous detective. And I drew the pictures.” And then, in a flash of largess, he added, “If you like I’ll let you read it. I bet it was a lot more excitin’ than any book you’ve lost. ‘Specially the bit in the spaceship where the dinosaur comes out and fights with the cowboys. I bet it’d cheer you up, my book. It cheered up Brian no end. He said he’d never been so cheered up.”

“Thank you, I’m sure your book is a very good book,” she said, endearing herself to Adam forever. “But I don’t need you to help look for my book.. I think it’s too late now.”

She looked thoughtfully at Adam. “I expect you know this area very well?” she said.

“For miles an’ miles, ” said Adam.

“You haven’t seen two men in a big black car?” said Anathema.

“Did they steal it?” said Adam, suddenly full of interest. Foiling a gang of international book thieves would make a rewarding end to the day.

“Not really. Sort of. I mean, they didn’t mean to. They were looking for the Manor, but I went up there today and no one knows anything about them. There was some sort of accident or something, I believe.”

She stared at Adam. There was something odd about him, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. She just had an urgent feeling that he was important and shouldn’t be allowed to drift away. Something about him …

“What’s the book called?” said Adam.

“The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch,” said Anathema.

“Which what?”

“No. Witch. Like in Macbeth,” said Anathema.

“I saw that,” said Adam. “It was really interesting, the way them kings carried on. Gosh. What’s nice about ’em?”

“Nice used to mean, well, precise. Or exact.” Definitely something strange. A sort of laid.. back intensity. You started to feel that if he was around, then everyone else, even the landscape, was just background.

She’d been here a month. Except for Mrs. Henderson, who in theory looked after the cottage and probably went through her things given half a chance, she hadn’t exchanged more than a dozen real words with anyone. She let them think she was an artist. This was the kind of countryside that artists liked.

Actually, it was bloody beautiful. Just around this village it was superb. If Turner and Landseer had met Samuel Palmer in a pub and worked it all out, and then got Stubbs to do the horses, it couldn’t have been better.

And that was depressing, because this was where it was going to happen. According to Agnes, anyway. In a book which she, Anathema, had allowed to be lost. She had the file cards, of course, but they just weren’t the same.

If Anathema had been in full control of her own mind at that moment.. and no one around Adam was ever in full control of his or her own mind.. she’d have noticed that whenever she tried to think about him beyond a superficial level her thoughts slipped away like a duck off water.

“Wicked!” said Adam, who had been turning over in his mind the implications of a book of nice and accurate prophecies. “It tells you who’s going to win the Grand National, does it?”

“No,” said Anathema.

“Any spaceships in it?”

“Not many,” said Anathema.

“Robots?” said Adam hopefully.

“Sorry.”

“Doesn’t sound very nice to me, then,” said Adam. “Don’t see what the future’s got in it if there’s no robots and spaceships.”

About three days, thought Anathema glumly. That’s what it’s got in it.

“Would you like a lemonade?” she said.

Adam hesitated. Then he decided to take the bull by the horns.

“Look, ‘scuse me for askin’, if it’s not a personal question, but are you a witch?” he said.

Anathema narrowed her eyes. So much for Mrs. Henderson poking around.

“Some people might say so,” she said. “Actually, I’m an occultist.”

“Oh. Well. That’s all right, then,” said Adam, cheering up.

She looked him up and down.

“You know what an occultist is, do you?” she said.

“Oh, yes,” said Adam confidently.

“Well, so long as you’re happier now,” said Anathema. “Come on in. I could do with a drink myself. And … Adam Young?”

“Yes?”

“You were thinking ‘Nothin’ wrong with my eyes, they don’t need examining,’ weren’t you?”

“Who, me?” said Adam guiltily.

* * *

Dog was the problem. He wouldn’t go in the cottage. He crouched on the doorstep, growling.

“Come on, you silly dog,” said Adam. “It’s only old Jasmine Cottage.” He gave Anathema an embarrassed look. “Normally he does everything I say, right off.”

“You can leave him in the garden,” said Anathema.

“No,” said Adam. “He’s got to do what he’s tole. I read it in a book. Trainin’ is very important. Any dog can be trained, it said. My father said I can only keep him if he’s prop’ly trained. Now, Dog. Go inside.”