Happenstance 3 (Happenstance #3)(30)
Author: Jamie McGuire

“No, it shouldn’t.”

I peeked over at him. “Can’t you just be patient? This is a lot for me.”

His jaw flitted under his skin. “You’re leaving the day after tomorrow. I don’t wanna…if you don’t want the ring, that’s fine. I should have known better. Erin…I’m…” He formed his mouth around the breath he blew out. “I’m just going to let you go. I think that’s best.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” I asked. “Because I won’t wear that?”

“Does it matter?”

I puffed like the air had been knocked out of me. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”

He faced forward, clenching his teeth. “Do you want me to take you home?”

I winced. “Yes.”

The truck engine revved, and he threw the gear into drive, surging forward until we were on the other side of the overpass. He yanked the wheel to the left, flipping us in a one-eighty, and then stomped on the gas. We practically flew to my house. He didn’t pull into the drive. Instead, he stopped at the curb just long enough for me to climb down. I didn’t even get the door shut before he pulled away, the sudden forward motion closing it for me.

Weston’s truck quickly rounded the corner, but I made sure to get inside before I could hear whether he went home or drove away. I didn’t want to know.

I tried to be quiet as I walked up the stairs, but just as I reached the top, Julianne called my name.

“Everything all right?”

“No,” I said, sitting on the stairs in a huff. “He’s mad at me—again.”

“What happened?”

“He sized his class ring. He wanted me to wear it. He had it all planned out and wanted it to be special, but I freaked out and ruined the whole thing. I think he broke up with me.”

Julianne’s cheeks filled with air, and then she slowly blew it out, looking to be in deep thought. “Whoa.”

“Yeah.”

“Well…” She climbed the stairs. Her white satin robe caught the moonlight coming in from the window over the door. “Gosh,” she said, sitting a couple of stairs below me.

“Yeah.”

“Want me to wake up Dad?”

“No,” I said, hating the whiny sound in my voice. “We’ve had such a good summer. And I’ve told Weston everything he wants to hear. I think we can make it work. But none of that is good enough. He wants a necklace around my neck and a ring on my finger. And now, he’s talking about real rings.”

“Real what?”

“Not until later,” I clarified.

Julianne nodded, relieved. “Oh my, he’s got it bad.”

“Literally. And not in a teenage colloquialism way either.”

Julianne breathed a laugh out of her nose. “I don’t know about that, but it does seem like you keep having the same conversation.”

“Ad nauseam.”

“Okay, so maybe he’s right. Maybe it’s time to take a break. You’ll be busy packing for the next couple of days, and then you’ll be moving to Stillwater. Once you’re settled in and comfortable with your classes, you can give him a call.”

I frowned. “I feel like that’s what he wants. I feel like he’s pushing me away—unintentionally, yet he’s doing it on purpose.”

“He’s testing you.”

I pointed at her. “Yes.”

“Because he’s insecure.”

“Yes.” I thought about that for a while. “You’re right. We need some space. He has to figure this out. I can’t do it for him.”

She leaned her cheek against my knee. “I’m in his boat.”

“You mean that he’s a fixer, too?”

“He wants all the ducks in a row in a way that makes sense to him. Like your dad said, he’s trying to control the only thing he can because everything else feels so far out of his reach.”

“I shouldn’t fault him for that. Shouldn’t I love him through it?”

“You can but not at the expense of your needs.”

I felt sick. “This is all way too grown-up for me. I don’t feel equipped to handle this.”

“Oh, you are. That’s the problem. Things would be so much easier on him if you behaved like a typical eighteen-year-old girl in love, put the ring on your finger, and begged for a diamond sooner rather than later. He needs a little while to catch up, to see things from a reasonable perspective, but it’ll happen.”

“I feel sorry for him,” I said. “He deserves someone that can be all giddy about this stuff.”

“I don’t,” Julianne said without hesitation. “You’re being smart about this. He’ll respect you for it later.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. He’s panicking. It’ll pass.”

I hugged my mother, and then I hurried up the stairs, falling into bed with my cell phone in hand.

You’re panicking. It’ll pass.

After several minutes with no response, I put my cell phone on the nightstand.

Rain began to thump against the window. The thunder rumbled first, far off in the distance. Before long, lightning crackled beyond the borders of my window, flashing in pulses into my bedroom.

I tried not to think about Weston, but it became impossible. A few regrets but mostly sweet moments kept popping into my mind. Once, I had fantasized about what it might be like to be loved by Weston Gates. Now, time had turned inside out, and love was a ridiculous roller coaster, an ultimatum, an impasse—at least, what was left of it.

My heart broke as my thoughts turned just as dark as the night between the lightning. He’d just wanted to give me his ring. It was such a puppy-love thing to do.

Why have I acted so offended by his every attempt to hold on to me?

It seemed like we were having two very different conversations. Rings, necklaces, and promises aside…I was jeopardizing our relationship for refusing to love him his way instead of mine.

Can I really say good-bye to the boy I’ve dreamed about since before I knew what love was?

A horrible realization hit. Is it already too late?

A soft knock on the door prompted me to lift my head.

“Any word?” Julianne whispered from the doorway.

“No. Have you heard from Veronica? Is he home?”

She nodded. “He’s home.”

I lay back against my pillow. “Good.”

“He’ll come around. Try to get some sleep,” she said with her soft mom voice. She disappeared into the dark hall.