High Stakes (Vegas Vampires #1)(49)
Author: Erin McCarthy

Ethan nodded. "That’s the way I would like to approach it-

"So do it." She curled her toes over his erection, grinning at him.

Strong, cool fingers gripped her bare toes, shifted them off him. Ethan sat slowly up, leaning forward, lips parted. Eyes deepened toa rich cobalt and Alexis sucked her breath in.

Sexual energy radiated off him and he was coming to get her. She licked her lips.

Ethan said, "Move in with me, Alexis.Permanently." Huh? Her feet fell to the floor. "What? Can you run that by me again?"

"Move in with me. Not for the election, but because you are my chosen one.My mate."

Hello. Alexis almost swallowed her tongue. "What? Where did this come from?" And why did it suddenly make her feel inflated, giddy,euphoric ?

But he didn’t back down and he didn’t let go of her hand. "From the first moment I touched you, I knew you were different. I have known many women—"

"Thanks for reminding me," she sniped. They were probably all taller and darker than she was, too.

"And none have given me the sense of completion you have. I’ve fallen in love with you."

Shegasped, the words like a blow to the chest. "Oh." Tears pricked at her eyes, startling her. She never cried, ever, but she did now because, looking at Ethan, she realized the strange truth was that she might have fallen in love with him, too, at some point. It was possible. But she wasn’t ready to commit to it yet. Concern furrowed his brow. "Alexis?"

Shaking her head, she bit her lip.Tried to speak.Blinked hard to keep the tears behind her lids, where they belonged. "I’m falling for you, too."

Okay, so she’d left off the "l" word, but hey, she’d gotten close.

"You are?" He looked inordinately pleased.

"Yes, Garlic, it’s sad, but true. I really kind of have a thing for you." She cleared her throat and squeezed his hand, hoping she could say this right, wishing that she could leap into his arms without the bitterness that seemed to plague her, the understanding that she wasn’t a woman who could manage a long-term commitment.

"But I can’t live with you I mean, what would we have, ten years? Fifteen tops? And I’ve seen how people get when they’re married, how they make each other miserable with all their personal flaws spilling out onto each other. I don’t want to walk away from you in ten years hating you, or you hating me."

He frowned.

"I don’t know how " It wasn’t coming out coherent at all. She bit her lip. "Ethan, I’m never going to get married Okay, I know you didn’t ask me to marry you, but I’m assuming eventually that would happen, or even if it didn’t, I mean, living together is committed, it’s like marriage in that you’re in each other’s space and "

Alexis took a deep breath and tried to reorganize her thoughts, clamp down on her panic. "I told you a little bit about my mother, but I didn’t tell you about the day I realized I hated her. Brittany didn’t hate her, but I did, because her own selfishness, her own per sonal shit, ruined her relationship with every person she said she loved."

God, she’d never told anyone about any of this stuff. She didn’t even talk to Brittany about it. But Ethan had to know, deserved to know why she felt the way she did. Why she felt damaged beyond repair.

"She was married four times, the first time to my father. The second husband was short-lived, which was good, because he used to scare me. He had a motorcycle and all these tattoos and he drank. But when I was nine, my mom married Bill. He was a good man, he worked for an insurance company, and we moved into his house, which was clean and kept up. He treated Brittany and me like we were his, and he loved us, Ethan, he did, you could see it in his eyes. Some men can’t love kids that aren’t theirs but Bill wasn’t one of those guys."

Alexis felt the fat, heavy tears roll down each cheek, but she didn’t bother to wipe them off. "I was so happy, because for once everything was so normal, and the way it should be, and I took Bill to the Girl Scout father-daughter dance and I was so proud. I didn’t know it at ten years old, but my mom was jealous of that affection he had for us. It took his attention away from her, you know? The more he cared about us, the more she gave him hell for it."

Staring at the glob of yellow putty her eggs had become, Alexis forced the words out. "When I was twelve, she called the cops and told them Bill was molesting us."

"Good God." Ethan’s hand jerked in hers. "Alexis, I’m so sorry. What happened? Surely they could tell you weren’t being harmed?"

"They said I was protecting him.That since I was almost thir -teen, I had created a fantasy that I was in love with him, and he had probably told me that if I kept quiet, he would marry me. It was so sick they were so-called professionals and they were ignoring everything I was saying, ignored the physical evidence that showed I hadn’t been sexually assaulted. But I realized I hated my mom when I figured out she was talking to Brittany, telling her things, confusing her, so that when Brittany was interviewed, she said things that the police and my mom led her right into. Yes Daddy Bill likes to tickle me, yes, he helps me get dressed." She shuddered. "It was just disgusting Brittany was barely six years old and she didn’t understand what they were doing. They were taking everyday things a father does in the care of his child—stuff my mother couldn’t be bothered to do—and turned it into something vile."

She knew her voice was hoarse, knew she sounded hateful and full of anger, but she didn’t care. "That’s when I decided to become a lawyer.To wade through all the crap and find the facts. And I decided I would never get married, and that I would never forgive my mother for taking a father away from me twice."

"Did Bill go to prison?"

Ethan’s voice was compassionate, though she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. "No, thank God. But he was barred from any contact with us ever again." Alexis swiped at her eyes, tears blurring her vision. "When my mom died, I tried to find him. He had died of a heart attack six months before, but his current wife showed me these boxes he had filled with pictures of Brittany and I, cards we’d made him for Father’s Day. She said it broke his heart to leave us with our mother."

Her voice shattered into a sob, and she was totally mortified. But Ethan stood up, pulled her over to him, and she let him. She was grateful for the way his arms came around her, the way he sat her down on his lap and tucked her head against his shoulder.

She never cried. And now it felt like nearly thirty years’ worth dislodged all at once. Weakness was something she despised, but sometimes it was damn hard to always be the strong one, to fight it and shove it all aside, and be tough.