Holding On (Memories #1.5)(9)
Author: Emma Hart

“Your student loans and that will help with that, won’t they?”

I nod. “But it won’t be there forever, and I’m gonna need what money I have. I’ll only have a small amount left for me at the end of each week, and I don’t wanna spend all that on tickets to spend twelve hours of the weekend travelling.”

He touches my arm. “Six weeks isn’t really that long.”

“He won’t come up. At all. We’ll see each other maybe six times a year, and even when I’m back, he’ll still be working.” A tear drips from my eye, and I know I’m about to break. Everything I’ve held inside for the last few days is about to explode from me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. “I’m missing my family, I’m three hundred miles from my home in my first place, I have no idea how to use my washing machine, and my milk has gone rotten, and I…”

I cover my face with my hands as the tears begin to flow freely. Behind my cocky exterior, I’m just a normal person. And right now, that normal person misses their family, their boyfriend, and has no idea how to cope by themselves. I’m that normal person in this second.

I have no idea how to cope in this city.

ALEC

I’ve never seen her this way. Sarcastic Jen, cocky Jen, bitchy Jen… All those I can cope with. Crying Jen? No. I didn’t even know she could cry.

I text Lexy, telling her to get here as soon as possible, and sit on the floor next to the sofa. I rest my head on the arm of it, and stroke Jen’s hair as she cries. I guess everyone needs a little break down once in a while.

My door opens after ten minutes and Lexy rushes in. She takes one look at Jen, runs over and hugs her. I get up, my phone in hand, and disappear into my bedroom. Lexy will be more use to Jen than me, and I apparently need to have a word with my best friend.

I dial his number, and he answers on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“You need to sort your shit out,” I say straight away.

“What the f**k?”

“I have your girlfriend crying her f**king eyes out on my sofa because you’re being a prick, Carl,” I spit, feeling the need to protect Jen. “She’s scared as shit because she’s from a small town and is in the big city. She’s scared because she’s gotta do it without her family and guess what? Because you’re refusing to come and see her even once before half term, she’s scared she’s gonna lose you to.”

“I’m working-”

“Yeah, I know that, mate, and I told her that. But you gotta remember she’ll be at uni most days with a lot less money than you. We’re grown up now, Carl, no more excuses. We all had an amazing summer, but unless you figure out a way to get up here at least once each half term, the summer isn’t gonna mean anything.”

He’s silent for a minute. “She’s really crying?”

“Yeah. She’s sobbing her goddamn heart out.”

“Shit.”

“Shit indeed.”

“I’ve got some making up to do, huh?”

“Some? You’ve got a lot.”

~

ALEXIS

Mum shakes her head when I finish telling her about Jen and Carl.

“That boy is gonna lose her if he doesn’t buck his ideas up,” she says.

“Now, Emily, that’s not necessarily true,” Dad argues. “They could find a way to work around it. Long distance relationships are possible.”

Mum looks up from her steak and raises her eyebrows. “Did you or did you not follow me to London from Lilac Bay when I left for university, Simon?”

“I did.”

“And why was that?”

“Because I didn’t wanna be without you,” Dad replies tentatively.

“And did Alec follow Lexy to London?” Mum continues.

“He did…”

“And why was that?”

Dad looks at me helplessly, and puts his cutlery on the table. “Because he didn’t want to be without her, darling.”

“Precisely,” Mum says triumphantly. “We’re not talking London to Essex here, Si, we’re talking London to Devon. It’s not just an hour or two away. It’s a good few hours. We all know Jen’s penchant for holding a grudge, so Carl is going to have to make it up to her. I’m guessing he’s not a flower type of guy?”

Bing puts his fork down loudly and looks at Mum. “Do we have to discuss Jen’s relationship? Really?”

Mum blinks in shock. “Well no-”

“Then don’t!” He grabs his fork and starts cutting his steak with vigour. I look at him, them Mum, then Dad. Mum is staring at him in shock, and Dad is grinning. I look back at Bing.

“What?” my brother snaps.

“Nothing,” I reply, turning to my dinner.

“You’re lying.”

“Why would I be lying?”

“What is it?”

“It was just a kind of random outburst, even for you, Bing.”

“Excuse me if I don’t want to hear about Jen over dinner. Is that illegal?”

“No. Just kind of random, like I said.”

He sighs and clenches his jaw. “Mum, can I take my dinner upstairs?”

“I suppose,” she replies warily.

“Thank you.” He grabs his plate and storms upstairs.

Mum watches him and turns back to us. “What was that all about?”

“That, my favourite girls…” Dad pauses to cut his steak. “…Was Samuel experiencing a thing called jealousy.”

My lips curve upwards. “Jealousy?”

“Indeed, darling daughter.”

“Jealousy? Why would he be jealous?” Mum asks, looking between us.

“Lexy.” Dad points at me with his fork.

“Because Bing has a serious crush on Jen.” I smile.

Mum’s eyes widen and she looks at the doorway and back at me. “Are you sure?”

I smile wider. “Oh, yes. I’m very sure.”

“But, does she fancy him?” She leans across the table, and I feel like I’m back at school, trying to gossip quietly.

“I think she does.”

“Oh,” she says, surprised, and sits back up. “Oh. Well. That certainly changes things, doesn’t it?”

“It certainly does,” Dad answers for me. “It also makes things more interesting.”

I look at Dad and laugh slightly. “Dad, are you secretly a teenage girl under your middle-aged skin?”

“Why do you say that?” He laughs.

“Because you seem more interested in the Bing-Jen-Carl thing than even Mum and I are.”

“She has a point, darling,” Mum agrees, patting his hand.

Dad shakes his head at both of us. “Can I take my dinner upstairs?”