Immortal (Fallen Angels #6)(64)
Author: J.R. Ward

With a prayer he wouldn’t violate that vow to her, he helped her to her feet and put his arm around her waist, taking some of her weight as they went along.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked.

“Doing what?”

“Taking care of me. I know I asked before … but, I mean, we don’t even really know each other, and yet you’re always there for me. Ever since the beginning.”

He stopped and turned her to face him. As he traced her face with his eyes, he felt like he had never not known her.

Fuck immortality. If he lost her, he was a dead man walking.

“I don’t know,” he said softly. “It’s just the way it is.”

“I think you’re a really good savior, Jim.” She put her hands on his forearms. “You’ve always been an angel to me—”

“I love you.”

Chapter Thirty-four

Sissy closed her eyes. She couldn’t have heard that right. Had he really said—

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I don’t mean to make shit awkward.”

“No, no, that’s not what I’m … how can you?” Her heart pounded. “I … if there’s something inside of me…”

She couldn’t go any further than that.

“That’s not you, Sissy. It’s got jack to do with you. And when we get rid of it?”

“I’m back to normal.”

“Exactly.”

She wanted to respond to him, wanted to say the words back, once again wanted to be frickin’ normal.

Instead, she was obsessed with the fact that she might not be alone in her own skin. Was Devina going to pop out of her at any second? Take her over?

Oh, God, was her head going to spin around as she pea-souped all over everything … or was this an Alien scenario where something jumped out of her stomach?

Thinking back, she realized that, yes, ever since she’d gotten out of Hell, that anger of hers had been out of control, her emotions all over the place—but like Jim said, she’d just assumed it was because she’d been dealt a tragic hand and wasn’t dealing with it well. Now, though, as she reconsidered her happy session with the matches and the sheets in the parlor?

She had actually felt as if that rage were something larger than her. Something out of character and wildly destructive. Something that was an “other.”

“Come on,” he said roughly. “Let’s go.”

She followed along beside him, her body moving on its own. “Can I infect you?” she asked in a rush.

“No.”

Thank God. Except then … “What if it doesn’t work? Whatever we have to do?”

“It will. I’ve done it once before, and Eddie’s an expert.”

“Okay. All right.”

Except she felt completely and totally far from “okay” and “all right.” And the walk back home didn’t change that.

The smell of a chocolate cake in the oven greeted her as soon as she went through the front door, and when she got to the kitchen, she found Eddie at the sink, doing the dishes she had used. Ad was sprawled in one of the chairs at the table, his eyes locked on the other guy, not in a creepy sexual way, but more like he expected an imminent disappearance and was prepared to follow the example.

“So what are you going to do to me?” she demanded.

Eddie looked over his shoulder, dark brows rising. “Nothing. Why?”

Jim came in behind her and took the seat he usually sat in. “We need to do some de-Devina-ing, if you get my meaning.”

The other angel took a deep breath and seemed to forget about the dripping bowl in his hand and the fact that he’d left the water on. “On Sissy.”

“Yes, on me,” she said, going over and looking into the stove.

There were two cake pans in there side by side, and the batter was in mid-metamorphosis, growing taller and darker.

“Jim, can I talk to you for a minute,” Eddie murmured quietly.

“No.” She straightened. “You can’t. Anything that you can say to him, you’d better say to me. It’s my body, my problem.”

As she faced off at the men, she didn’t give a shit if they felt awkward. Assuming she was cursed, she was damn well going to be on the ground floor of her own salvation.

She was done with having fate serve her bad luck, and taking it like a little bitch.

About twenty minutes later, the timer on the ancient stove gave out a cheerful ring of its bell, and Sissy let someone else take the cake out of the oven. As Eddie obliged, she rubbed her eyes, all kinds of horrific pictures making her head swim.

“Are you sure that’s going to work?” she asked numbly.

Eddie, who’d been doing most of the explaining, said, “Yes. That’s the way it’s done.”

She held up her index finger, all hold-it. “You didn’t answer the question.”

“It will work. The question is whether…”

As the guy looked over at Jim, she cursed. “Whether I live through it. Right?”

“The ritual is not without risks.”

File that under, Well, duh.

There were some knocking sounds as Eddie freed the cake halves onto cooling racks. Then some water running as he put the pans in the sink to soak. In the meantime, the other two angels were silent and unmoving as statues.

She glanced at Jim. His handsome, hard face was remote, his eyes focused only on her. “What do I do?” she whispered to him.

“It’s up to you.” His voice was grave. “It’s your decision.”

Read: Whatever you decide, I’ll back you up, one hundred percent.

“Eddie,” she heard herself say. “You died, right? But you came back.”

The red-eyed angel shook his head. “That would not be a backup plan I’d get behind if I were you. Death for immortals isn’t what you think it is. It’s not an ending—it’s an eternal stasis. And the reprieve I got? It was a miracle.”

“So I shouldn’t do this.”

“Well, the concern is that, if you don’t, what’s inside of you will continue to fester and grow stronger.”

“So I have to do it.”

Eddie looked at the other two men. “I agree with Jim … it’s your decision. Unfortunately, however, there are consequences if you choose not to move forward.”

All she could do was close her eyes. It was either that or scream at the top of her lungs—and she was suddenly terrified to let out anger of any kind.