Let Me Love You (Love #4)(38)
Author: Megan Smith

“Hey,” Jaylinn says as she steps in front of me and MacKenzie. “Everything looks great.”

I give her a curt nod, “Thanks. I’m glad you came.”

MacKenzie elbows me in the side.

“You are?” Jay asks with uncertainty lacing her voice.

“Of course,” I see Jackie, one of the bartenders, with a line at the bar. It’s a perfect excuse to get the hell away from Jaylinn before I do something I regret. “I have to go help out; I’ll see you all later.”

My heart is hammering in my chest as I walk away. I can’t believe she actually showed up here and was even speaking to me. When she left that night I thought it was final, like that was the end. I wish things could be different for us but they can’t.

As the night progresses things start to settle down and I’m able to talk to my family again. It’s near closing and the DJ has started playing a few slower songs. Hunter and MacKenzie, Jackson and Chloe are dancing closely in their own worlds, oblivious to everyone around them. Jaylinn disappeared hours ago; I’m assuming she’s left and gone home. I don’t blame her, I wasn’t exactly welcoming.

Mason stands from the chair he was sitting on and yawns, “I’m getting out of here.”

I stand up as well and I pull him in for a hug, “Thanks for coming, bro. Tell Hailey I’ll stop by tomorrow to say bye before we leave.”

“Will do, great job on the place by the way.” Mason tells Eli who’s sitting at the table with me.

“Thanks.”

Mason walks over to our sister and brother and tells them goodbye. I sit down at the table and start pulling the label off of Mason’s beer bottle that he left behind.

“Want to dance, handsome?” Jaylinn says as she slides a hand on Eli’s shoulder. I guess she didn’t leave.

Her voice makes my body ache for her, to tell her how sorry I am and that we can figure out a way to get past this road block.

Eli grabs her hand and leads her to the dance floor. They’re swaying back and forth, talking to each other. I keep my emotions in check, this is my friend and my girl, they wouldn’t do this to me, would they? I can’t believe for a second that they would.

Hunter and MacKenzie both give me worried looks and I return the same look back. Jackson and Chloe are both looking like deer in headlights and it makes me chuckle.

“God, I’ve missed that sound.” Jaylinn says, surprising me. I look up and she and Eli are both exchanging a silent conversation.

“Can you take over? I’ve got to go check on things downstairs.” Eli asks.

He gives me a look that settles me. It’s like he knows how I feel without saying the words out loud. He knows what he’s doing is bothering me but by asking me to finish the dance he’s telling me that he’s not going after what I already claimed.

It’s a vast reminder of what could be happening with someone else. Jaylinn could have brought a date here tonight and that would have been a slap in my face but she didn’t.

I lead Jaylinn out on to the dance floor. She’s a little hesitant at first, unsure if this is what she should be doing. She squeezes her eyes shut and when she opens them all her resolves slips away. Jaylinn places a hand on my shoulder and her other one over my heart. My breath catches for just a minute as I nuzzle my nose in her hair, reveling in the smell of her shampoo, it smells like sunshine.

I back away slightly and clear my throat, “How are you doing?”

“Honestly?”

I give her a sad smile, “Always.”

She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I’m fine.”

I c**k an eye brow, “You’re lying.”

Jaylinn rolls her eyes, “I’m fine, Cooper. I’m not perfect but I’m dealing.”

Satisfied with her answer I bring her head to my chest and we sway back and forth to the beat of the music. She feels so f**king perfect wrapped in my arms. The smell of her hair and perfume settle something deep inside.

“I miss you, Cooper.” Jaylinn looks up to me with unshed tears in her eyes.

I don’t respond because I’m afraid of what I will say. I miss her too, probably more than she misses me. My heart is beating rapidly, I know she feels it. She still owns it and always will.

“I miss what we used to have.” Her voice breaks.

I sigh in defeat because I do too. I miss it so f**king much, “Me too.”

I want nothing more in the world than to claim her as mine but I failed her once and I can’t do it again. I couldn’t live with myself if I did.

“Things aren’t the same anymore are they?” She asks calmly, with no lighting of her eyes, no smile dancing across her face.

I hold her close to me, regretting this dance, this heartache for the both of us, but in a way I feel like it’s the closure we both need, the last play of the game. “People change, Jay. Memories don’t. You’re too good for me.”

She tenses under my hold; I know my words struck a chord with her. There is a chill between us that grows by each second. She turns on her heel and runs to the door that leads downstairs. I stand there and stare at the door she just left through.

It was too soon for this, we’re still too raw.

Hunter comes up beside me, “I’m trying to stay out of whatever the hell is going on with you two but you keep making it hard. Whatever it is, fix it before it can’t be fixed.” Hunter lets out a deep breath. “I don’t want to pick between you and her but I will if I have to.”

Hunter follows behind his sister as MacKenzie walks up next to me, followed by Jackson and Chloe.

“I’m sorry, Cooper.” MacKenzie says as she wraps her arms around my neck.

“Me too. I just don’t know what to do, Kenz.”

MacKenzie puts a hand to the side of my face, “I know that you’re holding back, Coop, but I don’t understand why.”

“It is me, I f**ked up and I don’t know how to fix it.”

MacKenzie kisses me on the cheek, “You’re the smart twin, you’ll figure out.”

I chuckle, “Leave it to you to make me laugh.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Jackson and I exchange a handshake, “I’ll look out for her while you’re gone. Don’t worry about it, she’ll be fine.”

“Thanks man. I know she will be.”

Chloe kisses me on the cheek and whispers in my ear, “You’re the reason she’ll be okay.”