Lies in Blood (Dark Secrets #4)(48)
Author: A.M. Hudson

I wiped my face with the back of my wrist and took a seat on the grey ledge, laying my book down beside me. There was something magical and peaceful about this place but, for some reason, despite no one being allowed here without invitation from the queen, I never really felt alone—never really felt like this was my garden.

Beside me, a small splash caught my attention. I dipped my fingers into the pond, sending a school of orange fish scattering under lily pads, making them ripple as if they were breathing. But I didn’t care if the fish ran away. I didn’t even what their company today. I just didn’t really want to see anyone. Didn’t want anyone else to ask me how I was feeling now that David was gone, then look away, disinterested, when I said I felt like crying. The only answer anyone wanted was, “I’m doing well.” I got so sick of saying it; so sick of everyone ignoring the lie they heard in my tone, that ‘alone’ had become the only place I could stand to be. I’d come out here to the Garden in search of the gentle breeze that moved the leaves in a summer song, harmonised with the deep hum of frogs croaking. But as my thoughts stopped for a second so I could listen to that peaceful sound, my ears pricked. I heard nothing. No insects scuffling about. No frogs calling for a mate. No birds chattering and bickering over worms. And my skin crawled with the very distinct feeling that I was being watched.

I stood slowly and turned around, searching every shadow or flicker of movement. “Eve? Is that you?”

“Ara?” A tall silhouette appeared in the glare of sunlight. I shielded my face, turning to run when it grabbed my arm. “Ara. Ara,” he said more gently, pulling me in, wrapping his arms all the way around my head and shoulders.

I pushed out from the firmness of his chest, catching the scent of orange chocolate. And all the fight in me stopped, my lips falling softly part, hands to my sides as I took two slow steps backward. “I’m dreaming,” I stated.

He smiled down at me, his green eyes warmer than they’d been since I couldn’t remember when. “No, my love. You’re not.”

And that was it. My lip quivered, my chest went tight, and a full-scale melt down started off for the finish line. “What are you doing back?” I wailed. “You’ve only been gone for one night.”

He cupped a hand to the back of my neck and drew me to him again. “I got all the way out to Elysium, unpacked my bags in my old room and, when Quaid brought me the prisoner manifest, I suddenly realised I didn’t care.”

My face rolled up to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean. . .” He sighed impatiently, but not like he was irritated with me, more himself. “Why would I be hundreds of miles across the country, releasing vampires I don’t believe deserve it, when I have such little time left in the one place in this world I actually want to be?”

I brushed my hair from my cheeks. “With . . . do you mean here? Being king?”

“No.” He laughed, scooping the last strand of hair away from my lip. “Silly girl. With you.”

My mouth opened but nothing came out.

“I know,” he said, dropping his hands from my face to take a seat on the fountain’s ledge. “The fact that you’re surprised by that breaks my heart, Ara, and proves to me that the man I thought I was is not the king that stands, well, sits before you now.”

I sat down next to him, watching our shadows on the ground blend and meet as one. “You have been a bit. . .”

“Mean,” he said in short. “I’ve been a king but not a husband. A lawyer and judge, but not a man.”

“David,” I said softly, sweeping his hand into mine, and he actually turned in his seat so he could look at me. “I understand, you know. I get it. I do. You’ve not only had to deal with the painful burden of going to your death, but you’re also coming to terms with the fact that you’ll be leaving me alone. Which is hard for you, I know, because I also know you don’t want me to be sad, but you’re duty bound to do it anyway.”

His eyes drifted to our locked hands, a gentle smile holding back the pain I could see in them. “You know me well. But it doesn’t excuse—”

“No, but I know something else about you, David, and I’m not sure even you’ve realised this is a factor in your moods.” I exhaled through my nose, trying to word what was buzzing around in my brain. “Royalty is important to you. And you’re a good king. But you’ll only be king for a short time. I know you want to make sure that, in your short reign, people remember you as one of the great ones. I understand that about you.” I patted his hand. “I understand that you’ve been battling with these two parts of yourself, and it’s hard to be a good king and a kind husband. I couldn’t do half the things you do, David, and I respect you for that. And I know, at the end of the day, you still love me as much as the moment you met me. So I’m okay with your nasty side from time to time. And if you weren’t going to die in a few months, I know that, eventually, you’d have found a balance between being a king and a loving husband, but we don’t have that time.” I cupped his hand and squeezed it until he looked at me. “So, I understand, and I don’t want you to feel guilty about anything.”

The muscles in his jaw tightened, but as he opened his mouth to speak, he let the control slip for a second and I saw his chin quiver, saw the coating of tears in his eyes, so thick they hadn’t spilled.

“Aw, David.” I reached up and swiped under his lashes, releasing them. “It’s okay.”

He tucked me into his chest, his tears falling against my hair. But I didn’t mind. “My love. I—” His body shook for a second. “I don’t want to leave you. I love you more than I thought it was possible to love a person. And I know the pain you suffer right now. I know you’ve kept that pain from me to save my heart from aching, but I—” He swallowed hard, sniffing back the liquid. “How am I gonna leave you? I . . . If it would take surgery to cut you out of my heart, what must that mean for the way you love me?”

“David, I—”

“I hurt you. I . . . All I’ve done is yell at you, undermine you, overrule you and dominate you. I’ve no right to treat you that way, and I’m,” he paused and kissed my head, “I’m sorry.”

I snuggled into his chest again, wrapping both arms all the way around his slightly bony ribs. “I forgive you, David. Like I said, I understand why you’ve been that way. I mean, you haven’t really been my David, which means you’re clearly under a lot of stress. It would be unnatural not to be.”