Live For Me (Blurred Lines #2)(19)
Author: Erin McCarthy

His girlfriend. Brooke. I’d managed to forget about her.

I’d heard him be G Daddy with her on that awful phone call.

“I saw a picture of you online,” I said. “I subscribe to a gossip magazine’s online version and you were at the beach.”

He glanced over at me in amusement. “You subscribe to a gossip magazine? That surprises me.”

“I like to see what everyone is wearing. And I live in hope that someday I’ll find a hairstyle that will make me look like Halle Berry.”

“Why would you want to look like Halle Berry?”

I snorted. “Because she’s beautiful.”

“So are you.”

“Whatever. I wasn’t looking for a compliment.” It embarrassed me that he might think I was.

“I know you weren’t. That’s not you. But listen, you are beautiful. Gorgeous actually. Never want to be someone else. Just be you.”

Easy for him to say. “Being me wasn’t exactly a stellar thing in a town that is all white.”

“They were just jealous of your exotic beauty.”

Oh, God. I was truly mortified. There was not a damn thing exotic about me. “Now you’re really laying it on too thick.”

Devin pulled me to a stop. We were almost back to the house. “No, I’m not. They’re all ordinary and similar looking. Of course you stand out in a way that would make them jealous. And remember you told me I couldn’t feel sorry for you. Well guess what? You can’t feel sorry for you either.”

Indignation rose in me. What did he know about how it felt to be me? Him of the perfect life and looks? “Where did you grow up?” I asked him.

“White Plains. Sue me.” He reached into his pocket. “No, I didn’t have a hard childhood. Yes, my parents funded my education. I have nothing to complain about. Even knowing that people use me, that I have no genuine friends, I recognize that I’m fortunate. Lucky, even. Is that what you want to hear?”

It made me feel guilty. He didn’t know about my life. Conversely I didn’t know about his. I wouldn’t want people coming at me all the time the way they did to him. “I’m sure you have genuine friends,” I said, feeling bad. “What about your girlfriend Brooke?”

That made him actually laugh out loud. “Brooke is not a friend. Or a girlfriend. She is someone I f**k.”

The crude dismissal should have upset me, but the truth was, I was sickly glad to hear that Brooke meant nothing to him. “Oh.”

“I don’t suppose you’ve ever had someone in your life just to f**k, have you?” he asked, pointing the keys he’d pulled out of his pocket at his car to unlock it.

He was leaving. I shook my head. “No.” I haven’t had anyone to f**k, ever. I couldn’t even imagine so casually sharing my body with someone. I knew a lot of people did and they had every right to do so. I just knew myself. I kept walls up to protect myself and if I was going to have sex with someone, it was going to be more than f**king. It was going to be intimate. I didn’t want to do it just to do it.

“Stay that way,” he told me. Then he opened the passenger door. “Get in.”

I stared at him dumbly. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere. Just a drive.”

I hesitated and he made a sound of impatience. “What?”

“Is this an official duty?”

“What? No.”

“Then ask me. Don’t tell me.” I wasn’t his to order around. I wasn’t anybody’s. For the first time in my life I was well and truly free and I wasn’t going to let anyone take that away.

I knew I was pushing it with him. But I had to start the way I was going to finish and keep what was mine- my pride.

Devin didn’t fire me or throw me out of his house. He just shook his head. “Housesitter and manners coach. I’m being schooled by a child.”

I opened my mouth to protest.

He held up his hand. “Fine. Not a child. And I’m sorry. Would you like to go for a drive with me?”

I nodded. “Sure. Thanks.”

After Devin put Amelia in the house, he drove fast out of the garage, his body relaxed, hand comfortably on the gearshift. “When I was a kid I wanted to get out of White Plains so badly. It made me edgy, passionate, determined. It also made me drive too fast.” He shot me a grin. “You like to drive fast or slow?”

“I don’t have a driver’s license.”

“What?” He looked scandalized. “Why the hell not?”

His outrage made me smile. “Well. Because I wouldn’t have a car to drive for one thing, after I got my license, or to actually learn how to drive in the first place. Plus you need your birth certificate to get your temporary license and I don’t have mine. I could order it online but I never had the money and again, back to the whole lack of car thing.”

“That’s insane. How can you exist without a driver’s license?”

“I seem to be existing okay.” I was actually better than I’d been in a long time. “Don’t sound so horrified.”

“It is horrifying.” Devin slowed the car down. We were still in his long driveway. “I’m teaching you to drive. Right now.”

“What?” I stared at him, no longer amused. “No! I don’t have my temps.”

But he scoffed. “We’re on my property. I’m not going to tell if you don’t tell. We’ll do a few practice sessions while you order your birth certificate.”

“I… don’t want to.” How could I learn how to drive with Devin watching me? Knowing how outrageously expensive his car was?

“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you’re afraid. I don’t have you pegged as a chicken.”

I was afraid. No question about it. But I didn’t want him to know that. “Fine. But it’s still pointless for me to have a license.”

He put the car in park. “I can’t believe you’re walking around without an ID. How do you get anywhere? The airport, clubs.”

I could see how that might be incomprehensible to him, but to me, it wasn’t that big of a deal. “I don’t. There aren’t exactly a lot of clubs in Vinalhaven. And the only trip my grandmother would have allowed me to take was to hell.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so shocked. You already told me you haven’t traveled.” He turned the car off. “Switch seats with me. Someday you’ll be able to afford a car and you’ll wish you had your license.”