Live For Me (Blurred Lines #2)(45)
Author: Erin McCarthy

“Look, it’s not your fault, Lizzie. Sure, you brought that shit, but Cass would have gotten it from somewhere else if you didn’t. This whole casual drug use is bullshit though. No one can control it. No one is invincible.”

I handed the towel to Lizzie, who wiped her mouth and hands. “This is going to be all over the Internet in about five seconds. Devin can’t control it. Someone at the hospital will talk.”

“And her album downloads will go up.” Sapphire shook her head. “It’s a f**ked up world we live in.”

Not feeling like I had anything to contribute to the conversation I started cleaning up the kitchen. There were bottles and plates and glasses everywhere. Lizzie stared at me while I did it. I don’t think she realized she was, but she just leaned on the counter and watched me, her ni**les stretching the cotton of her T-shirt. Sapphire started helping me, grabbing some plates and bringing them to the dishwasher.

“You don’t have to do that,” I told her. “I’ve got it.”

“I didn’t grow up rich. I can load a damn dishwasher,” she said.

Her platinum hair fell forward in a sleek curtain as she did just that, her crazy long nails clicking against the racks as she filled them.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Lizzie didn’t make any motion to join us. She looked like she was in shock. “Does anyone want any coffee?” I asked.

“God, I’d love some,” Sapphire said.

Lizzie nodded, biting her fingernail. Then without warning she said, “Did you think the heroin was bad? Like that black heroin or whatever?”

Sapphire shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s possible. Anytime you inject shit into you it’s possible it’s bad.”

I had finished a sweep of the kitchen collecting trash and after washing my hands I started the coffee machine, patting my phone in my pocket, reassuring myself it was there. No word from Devin but he was probably just arriving at the hospital.

“I was just thinking maybe Kadence was trying to kill G. Or cause a scandal by having someone die at his house.”

Pausing the middle of scooping out coffee grounds from the bag, I waited to hear Sapphire’s opinion. No one was that crazy. Were they?

It was a stupid question. Of course they were. I had encountered crazy, cruel, selfish, plenty of times in my life.

“Who the hell knows?” Sapphire said. “But that seems like a dumbass way to get your man back.”

It made me uncomfortable to hear them talking about his estranged wife. I fervently wished he were actually divorced but I suddenly felt like I had done something wrong. I had slept with a married man. So he was trying to not be married. He was still married. You didn’t just get to decide you weren’t anymore. Only the court did that. It seemed like a justification that he was emotionally done and everything I’d been feeling, all those warm and happy thoughts, seemed dulled by the reality of Kadence. And Cassandra.

So much for bliss.

“G might get back with her. You never know.”

“Girl, you have no f**king tact,” Sapphire said in exasperation. “Do you not see Tiffany standing right here making your skinny ass coffee? She does not want to hear your opinions on G and Kadence.”

Well, she had that right. I definitely did not. Though at the same time, even though it was awkward, I was curious what Devin’s friends thought about Kadence and his relationship with her. If these were his friends. It was hard to really say if there were genuine friendships or if they were just clients.

“Oh. Sorry,” was Lizzie’s apology. She looked at me, still chewing her nail. “How did you meet G?”

“I’m the caretaker here,” I said, taking the carafe and filling it with water. I wasn’t going to let Lizzie’s rudeness bother me. It wasn’t even the worst that was likely to come my way in the future. I figured I should be prepared. “Housesitter. Whatever you want to call me.”

“And you’re f**king him? I mean, not that I blame you, I totally would too, but you know he’s just out of his marriage. He’s going to want to date around.”

My cheeks warmed. I didn’t want to sound naïve or defensive so I just poured the water and said carefully, “Devin and I have talked about our relationship.” What we had said was none of her business. I believed truly and deeply that he loved me. She wasn’t going to ruin how special that felt.

“What are you, a lawyer?”

Jay came in to the kitchen. “Who’s a lawyer? And do I smell coffee?”

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and let them continue talking, grateful Jay had interrupted Lizzie. I had a feeling she was just getting started on interrogating me and I had no interest in going there with her.

It was a text from Devin.

Cass doing ok. Going to transfer her to rehab tomorrow. Sending a car to take everyone to airport. Need to be ready by 3.

“Is that G?” Sapphire asked.

I nodded. “He says Cassandra is okay and they are transferring her to a rehab facility tomorrow. He’s sending a car at 3pm today to take all of you to the airport.”

“Party’s over,” Jay said, shaking his head. “I wonder if that jet for tomorrow night ever got scheduled.”

There was a second text from Devin.

Your jeep is showing up today. Keep a lookout for delivery guy. Xoxo

I liked the added hugs and kisses. They made me feel better about the whole weird situation. Last night was starting to feel like a dream. Like it wasn’t real.

Pouring myself some coffee, I said, “I’m going to take a shower. Does anyone need anything before I go?”

They all shook their heads, Jay already reaching for his own coffee mug.

Back in my room, I saw the used condom on the nightstand and I gingerly picked it up and carried it to the bathroom, lip curled. When I went to get clean clothes and panties from my dresser, I also spotted a blood smear across the pristine white sheets. Apparently I had bled and didn’t realize it. I tore the sheet off and bundled it up. Something about that stain seemed harsh. Why was it the reality of sex wasn’t as romantic in the daylight then it was at night?

But I knew it wasn’t that. It was the uncomfortable feeling that I was alone. That instead of feeling Devin’s arms wrapped around me or having him tease me as he tossed out the condom, I was doing it alone. There was no leisurely breakfast together, no morning sex. I felt selfish and immature for even thinking about myself when Cassandra was in the hospital, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.