Losing Control

 

They spent Sunday together at her place, not working, not stressing. Just unwinding, her reading a novel, him watching sports on TV. Cole didn't think he'd ever enjoyed an entire day of doing nothing before. He felt guilty. Rested. A small part of him even felt at peace.

For the most part, however, he was thinking about Guthrie and Tate - how bad that day when Tate had almost been abducted could have turned out. Brandon had been brought into the loop. His father insisted that he keep Judge on the case, too. Nothing Cole could do about that. But he wanted those animals, and whoever was behind this whole sordid mess, found and appropriately dealt with. Fast.

The next day, Cole visited Taryn in her office. She said she'd get together what she could from the survey, given they'd been called away early. He said he needed a more definite budget projection. Then she asked whether she ought to start organizing host auditions. Between leaving her office and stealing a drugging hot kiss, Cole told her to hang off for now.

Tuesday night he spent over at her place. He watched on while she called for that cat to come in from the cold. Later they'd had pizza and watched a movie neither of them saw much of. Wednesday night Taryn stayed at his place. Thursday, he was back at hers and she was still calling in that stubborn pregnant cat. They'd had Chinese and he'd told her about the time the boys had built a cubby house in the backyard and it had collapsed with him inside. She'd been impressed by the scar on his shin caused during the cave-in by a dislodged dartboard.

By Friday, he was prickly over the fact Brandon and Judge had nothing new to report. However, Brandon passed on in private that, despite her many vices, Eloise was clear of any suspicion. That spooky maid was cleared, too. Come lunchtime, Cole was settled behind his desk, working on more tweaks to that massive, frustrating, football league contract, when Taryn swept into his office and put a pamphlet on his desk.

Grinning, Cole sat back. She was a cross between angelic and sexy in that crisp white linen dress that, to his mind, could have benefitted from an inch or two less length around the hem. Calculating back how many hours it had been since they'd last kissed - last made love - he collected the pamphlet and looked it over.

"What's this?" he asked.

"A new park opened not far from here." She came around to his side of the desk. Her perfume teasing his nostrils and testing his resistance in a work setting, she tapped a picture on the sheet. "There are paddleboats."

He nodded. "Okay."

Her blue eyes flashed and a big smile spread. "Then you'll come?"

"Come where? When?"

"To paddle with me. Now." She checked her wristwatch. "It's lunchtime. I vote foot-long hot dogs."

Shunting the pamphlet aside, he chuckled. Taryn was a mile away from the aloof woman he'd met three weeks ago. Of course, she would never lose that poise; a person either had class or she didn't. And, God knows, he would love to ditch and go play for a couple of hours. But he'd been slack all week. He'd even slid across some duties for Roman to take on full-time. But he couldn't hide forever from his responsibilities. He had an example to set.

"Sounds tempting," he said, "but I ought to get this contract sorted."

She leaned back against his desk's edge. Her palms set flat behind her, shoulders raised, her skirt lifted that ideal inch or two.

"The work will still be here when you get back," she reasoned with a silky tone, and he flicked a glance at the open office door. Maybe they could enjoy some hands-on time now without needing to leave the building.

After easing out of his chair, he stood before her then leaned in until his hard thighs pinned hers. His palms anchored on either side of hers on the desk, he closed his eyes, grazed his chin lightly up her cheek then murmured in her ear.

"I think we should lock the door."

When her hand came up and fingers twined through his hair, every pulse point in his body started to tick and, soon, throb.

"You spend too much time indoors," she told him while he tasted the satin curve of her neck. "Let's get some sunshine. It's a gorgeous day."

"And later?"

"Later you can finish with that contract."

He pressed in more. "What contract?"

She laughed. "You have some casual clothes here, don't you?"

As his hand slid over and scooped around her back, the best he could do was grunt his affirmative.

"I do, too," she said, then sighed. "We'll change, go paddle some boats and then..."

He drew back slightly. "Couldn't we do the 'and then' part first?"

She pushed against his chest and he let her shift him away. "I'll meet you in the lobby."

He took from those hypnotic lips a lingering kiss. "I'll be there in five."

They drove to the park. For a Friday - a workday - it was packed. Guess it was a combination of the good weather, he mused, a novel array of food vendors and the curiosity of a new place to take the kids. Or your lover.

He paid for thirty minutes in a paddleboat, but, willing to pay more and give their legs a fine workout, they spent an hour on the lake. If ever he thought about that contract, or his father, Cole told himself to chill. They were headed back to her place for the "and then" part, after which he'd get back on top of things, but when they were almost at her address, he decided to check his cell for messages. Just to be safe.

He had parked in her drive, which was looking quite familiar these days, and Taryn was already out and scooting up to open the front door. Cole opened his messages and was bombarded by a stream of recent texts and voice mail. As he went through, his gut sank lower and the sense of dread swelled until he wasn't certain he could breathe.

Liam had been trying to get him. He'd been offered a better deal with a rival network. He needed to make a decision. What could Cole do for him? He needed to know now. Cole dragged a hand over his damp brow. This deal was major, major. If this didn't happen, Hunter Broadcasting was in deep trouble.

Feeling that cold sweat break behind his neck now, Cole stabbed a few keys. He was talking, trying to mend a critical situation, when Taryn wandered back and peered in at him, questioning, through the window. Needing to talk to Liam - with no distractions - Cole angled away.

Even as they spoke, Cole's brain was shouting at him. Why did you let down your guard? If he cruised for long enough, of course something bad would happen. And as the negotiations deteriorated, and Taryn, worried and disappointed, moved inside her house, Cole made a vow. If only this worked out, if he didn't lose this deal and have to put off workers, need to shut down shows, he would never take his position for granted again.

Not for any reason.

Not for anyone.

* * *

"I'm ba-ack!"

With his usual cheery smile, Roman Lyons moved into Taryn's office at Hunter Broadcasting and, at her desk, set a big "friends only" kiss upon her cheek.

Genuinely happy to see him, trying to tack up a smile, Taryn set down her pen. "How was the script-writing junket?"

"Junket?" Roman swung a leg over the corner of her desk. "I'll have you know that my colleagues and I worked bloody hard on sorting out angles and zingers for our next and biggest season yet. Did you miss me?"

"Terribly."

"Good job I was only gone a week then." Roman leaned closer. "So, tell me. Has the Commander finally given your show the nod? You've been back from that survey two weeks. The budget's been worked over a thousand times. Surely he's made a decision."

When her insides ached, she could only look away.

While they hadn't discussed it, Taryn guessed Roman knew she and Cole were lovers. Or had been. Frankly, she was confused at how things had turned out, although she guessed she shouldn't be surprised. Since that Friday, just over a week ago, when Cole had needed to perform circus tricks to keep that football contract from going down in a landslide, things had changed between them. For the worse.

Although they saw each other at work and a couple of times had gone out to lunch, Cole had distanced himself. He hadn't come over to her place, hadn't invited her to his. Whenever she suggested they do something fun, he said he was far too busy. If she brought up her show, he told her he'd get back to her soon.

Of course, Cole blamed himself for the panic that had ensued when that man, Liam Finlay, had been unable to get in contact the afternoon they'd played hooky in the park. And, although he would never admit it, or accuse her, she was certain Cole blamed her, too, for tempting him outside of his usual dutiful boundaries.

She'd never been a party girl, but that week with Cole had been the best of her life. More than that, she'd reevaluated. Thought about priorities. She still wanted her show to go into production, but she'd come to see that in recent years she hadn't laughed enough. She'd usually taken herself so seriously. Last week, Vi had said she was a different woman. Hell, Taryn had thought Cole had become a different man.

Apparently not.

Taryn answered Roman's question. "Cole put through word today. Hot Spots has his approval."

Roman's expression exploded. Giving a hoot, he swung an arm through the air.

"That, my lovely, deserves a celebration. Cups of tea all around." Jumping off the desk, he eyed her percolator. "Although coffee will more than suffice."

The news had come via email and was signed, Best, Cole Hunter, Executive Producer In Charge. Certainly everyone had a template, but couldn't he have given her this news in person?

While Roman moved over to that counter, Taryn sucked down a fortifying breath. She didn't have to confess anything to this man. Except, firstly she trusted him. And secondly she'd felt so isolated, so alone here since Cole had bit by bit shut her out. She needed catharsis. To purge her doubts. Clear her conscience.

"I suppose you figured it out," she began.

Roman was lumping sugar into his cup. "Figured out what?"

"That we...that Cole and I have been, well, together."

Roman hesitated only a second before pouring the coffee. "Totally your business."

"I didn't do it to gain the advantage," she said. "I didn't sell myself to get my show through. It happened and now Hot Spots will go into production..."

Roman returned with two cups. "And that is top news."

She shut her eyes but those doubts wouldn't leave her. "I can't stop wondering if Cole finally slid it through because he felt obligated. He never approved of the idea. He never stopped telling me he thought it would fail."

"Here's a big tip." Roman pulled in a chair. "Don't torture yourself. Just run with it and give those ratings a jolly good jolt."

She half smiled but had to ask. "Has this ever happened before? Cole getting involved with a colleague, I mean."

"Cole's not the blast-his-own-horn kind of guy. Or, rather, not with regard to love affairs. Low-key. As far as I know, no one from here. And never anything serious."

"Guess that hasn't changed."

Roman heaved out a breath and gave her a comforting smile. "It's not your fault. You know what they say about a leopard and his spots."

Around ten, Roman said cheerio. At the exact moment he left, Cole strode by her office without slowing down.

A hollow gutted feeling gripped her and wouldn't let go. The walls seemed to fade back at the same time they pressed in. She set her face in her palms and tried to fathom this out. From the moment they'd first kissed, she'd known what she was getting into. Trouble. But there'd been a time when she'd thought she'd meant something more than a convenience to him. Another element in his world to be manipulated. Eliminated.

Seems she'd been wrong.

An urge overwhelmed her. An impulse greater than she'd ever known. Taryn pushed back her chair and, needing answers or closure or something, she caught up with him outside of the accounts department. Cole obviously hadn't thought she'd put on a chase. He jumped when he saw her appear beside him.

A little out of breath, she asked, "Any more word?"

His Adam's apple bobbed above his tie's Windsor knot then control returned to his face.

"Word on what?"

"Your father's situation."

"No breakthroughs yet although I have every confidence Brandon will come through. If you'll excuse me, I have a meeting. I'm already late."

He headed off, but she wasn't finished.

"Still thinking about sending Tate to your brother's?" she asked, catching up again.

"That's one plan."

Not willing to talk about it? Okay. Next.

"I finally got Muffin inside. She's had her kittens. Four in all."

"I hope they find good homes."

Still walking, she said, "I thought you might want to see the rundown for the first show. It's in draft form - "

"Leave it with my PA. You know Leslie."

His personal assistant was a nice lady with the patience of a saint. She'd need to be, working with Cole.

"Any special requests to be included in the draft?"

"Just slot out your expanded ideas for the six locations - "

She didn't hear the rest. She slapped a hand on his arm to try to pull him up.

"What do you mean six? A season is thirteen episodes."

"We'll see about that after initial ratings come in."

"I'm not happy with six shows, Cole. You're not giving it a chance."

He was checking his watch, edging away up the hall. "Like I said..."

She growled. If he said just one more time he was late...

She blurted it out. "Why are you treating me like this?"

Darren from the Sport department was walking by, slowing down to take a good long look. Cole took her arm and led her into a nearby unused office.

After shutting the door, he set his hands low on his hips. "You want to cause a scene?"

"I want some answers."

"Six shows is my limit, Taryn." His chin notched up. "I don't recall promising you anything."

So she should be grateful?

"I don't recall asking for anything other than you meeting the terms of my contract."

He folded his arms, cocked his head. "Are you done?"

"No. I'm not done. I want to say you don't have to go around hiding from me anymore."

"I don't hide from anyone."

"If you regret that time away, that week when we came back and were happy, it's not half as much as I do."

She'd said the words. How much easier her life would be if she believed them.

"You're jumping to conclusions," he said.

"I'm inventing the fact that you're avoiding me?"

His eyes slowly narrowed.

"Do you want to know how I've been filling in my time these past days? Not only have I got that murder mystery hanging over my head, my brother Dex has managed to get himself tangled up in some blackmail scheme."

"Since when?"

"Dex mentioned it last night when he called. He clammed up when I asked questions. But that's not enough. He's kindly informed me that the finances over there are dangling by a bare-assed thread."

"He actually said that?"

Cole's jaw shifted. "Well, no. Not in so many words. But I can hear in his voice that he's worried." His chin went up. "Add to that the fact Liam Finlay informed me that he's still an inch away from accepting another network's deal. That's where I'm headed now, if you care to know. To try to avoid that last looming disaster from falling on our heads."

Not only were his irises dangerously dark, the half-moons underneath his eyes were dark, too. Not nearly enough sleep. Taryn knew what that was like. But she didn't have the weight of the future of at least two multimillion-dollar enterprises riding on her back. She was simply trying to survive an ill-fated love affair. Get her show the time on air she believed it deserved.

"I didn't know," she muttered. "You didn't say."

His tone dropped. "I could have come to you and whined and moaned, but that's not what I do. I fix things. I take responsibility."

All the emotions she carried around trapped deep inside of her these past days began to bubble up and spill over. If he'd made her feel insignificant before, now she felt as inconsequential as a gnat. Her gaze dropped to her shoes. Her vision blurred. God, she wanted to die.

She heard him exhale and a moment later two fingers were under her chin, lifting her face until, her throat thick, she was peering into his eyes.

"I'm sorry I haven't had two minutes to spare lately," he said. "That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy our time together. But pizza and rerelease DVDs are out of the question right now." His fingers slid down her arm until he was holding her hand. "You understand, don't you?"

Taryn sagged into herself. She'd started out wanting to corner him and yet she'd been the one who was crowded back and bombarded until her head was left spinning. But at least now she had an explanation for his lack of interest. If she looked at it logically rather than emotionally, he had a good reason. She supposed.

She found the wherewithal to nod.

"I guess I understand."

"Will you be all right getting back to your office?" She nodded again. "Okay." He pressed a lingering kiss on her cheek. "I really have to go."

He strode away, leaving her alone, numb, and the door wide-open for everyone to see.