Lost for You (Lost #2)(21)
Author: B.J. Harvey

All night I lay awake next to her, unable to sleep. I couldn’t comprehend how she could still let me take care of her, even though she must think the worst of me right now. The flower I left her this morning is a step towards making all of this up to her. The note was a bit cryptic, but it will all make sense to her in the end. Well, I’m bloody well hoping it does. I’ve been thinking about it all morning; ways to show her how I feel instead of telling her. I need her to want me to come back. I’m not going to force myself back into her life. I did that when I first met her. This time I need to know that she wants me back, even knowing the ugly truth.

In my bid to get answers, I leave a message with Evans’ office asking for him to call me back. Apart from what Shay and Devon may uncover in LA, he’s the only hope I have of finding out more about Brimstone’s plans, especially if they are working together.

A few hours later, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Pulling it out, I see it’s another unknown number. Three guesses who it is.

“Braxton,” he says when I answer.

“Evans, it hasn’t been long enough,” I say spitefully.

“Now, son. Enough of that. What do you need?” he asks, his voice full of concern.

“You must know by now that Elle was shot a few weeks ago, a week after I was duped into leaving town,” I explain.

“Are you serious?” Shit, he actually sounds genuinely shocked. “Gibbons doubled crossed us and pulled me off the job. You saying you had nothing to do with that, or the hit on Elle?” I ask incredulously.

“Not me, son. I may be many things, but I know what that girl means to you. I just can’t tell you how I’m involved just yet,” he says gruffly.

“Well, sorry if I don’t quite believe you. What I do need to know is whether the hit came from Brimstone.”

He pauses for a moment. The silence down the phone dragging on forever. “To be honest, Brax, I don’t know. He’s been throwing options around left right and center, but I didn’t think he’d have the balls to follow through.”

I growl down the phone at him. “And you didn’t think to tell me about all of this?”

“And put me in the firing line? That would be a no,” he replies, nonchalantly.

“Well, why are you involved with Brimstone? You know, the boss says he can’t even work that connection out?”

He laughs. “Well, Victor’s one to talk, isn’t he. It’s not something you want to know Brax, mainly because it involves your mother.”

“Leah?” I ask in shock. Leah’s the only mother I’ve really known, so it’s pure instinct that she is the first person that comes to mind.

“No, Brax. The woman who gave birth to you.”

“The woman who you abandoned after knocking her up, who then dumped me in the foster system? That woman?” I scoff. “I don’t give a shit about her.”

“Brax, you don’t know the full story. Lately, I’ve been reconsidering my behavior towards her all those years ago. Family has always been important to me, son. That has never changed. “

“What’s the deal, father dearest? You getting soft in your old age?”

He cracks up laughing. “You always were a smart ass, even as a baby. It’s a long, sordid story, and to be honest, she has closer connections to you than you even know.”

“What the f**k does that mean? I’ve tried finding her and came up empty handed.”

“She changed her name when she got married.”

“But you know where she is?”

“I’ve made it my job to keep tabs on her, Brax,” he adds.

This is all starting to make sense now.

“You’ve known all along?” I ask, shocked at his admission.

“Of course. Loose ends and all that.” I can hear a slight softening in his voice. Damn, don’t tell me that Evans has a heart buried somewhere?

“Look, son. What do you need from me?”

“I need something on Brimstone to bring him down. Concrete, irrefutable proof. I need to get him out of Brightlight, and out of Elle’s life, once and for all.”

“You really love that girl, don’t ya Braxton?” he says, reverting to my full name again. I can tell he’s trying to sound gruff and formal again to make up for his earlier admission. “And what do I get in return from you?” he adds.

“My gratitude. And maybe if you ever sort your shit out and go straight, you might get a chance at redemption.”

“Me and straight don’t work well together, son. You know that,” he sighs down the phone.

“Yeah. But I also know that despite the gruff exterior, at one time you did give a shit about my birth mother. Hell, you probably even used to give a shit about me and Devon. I don’t think you would do wrong by me, not now.”

The phone line goes deathly quiet. I pull it away from my ear to check that he hasn’t hung up. After another thirty seconds he replies, saying the words I don’t expect to hear.

“I’ll be in touch.”

I saw him leave, that big tough boyfriend of hers slinking out before dawn. He looked worn out, and it makes my stomach churn thinking of what he was doing with my girl all night.

That’s who she is. My girl. My destiny. The one loose end left to tie up. And I will. I will succeed at this. I’ve waited a long time, but soon I’ll have her right where I want her. She’ll be on her knees in front of me, begging me to put her out of her misery. Just like those who’ve gone before her.

No one has ever stuck with me as long as she has. Not once has she left my mind.

I won’t be able to escape this demon that has continued to haunt me for so long now until I free her from this world.

Once and for all.

10

It’s been a week since he’s been gone. Since that night where everything I thought I knew came tumbling down when Brax uttered the words, “There are some things I need to tell you.”

Although I haven’t seen him, Brax has delivered a white lily to the front desk every single day, and asked Luis to call me after he’s gone. With each flower, there has been a note with a gift. After the first day with the café serviette, the next day there was a takeaway vanilla latte with my name written on the side from the same cafe. That one made me smile because he somehow remembered that I had ordered a vanilla latte on that first day too.

Delivery number three was our favorite Chinese takeout menu and a DVD copy of Pitch Perfect, the movie we watched when he came over to my apartment for the first time. That made me smile, what guy would remember something like that unless it meant something to him. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face all day after that.