Lost in Distraction (Lost #1)(19)
Author: B.J. Harvey

I’m in love with him.

I have been for a while now, and I can’t imagine my life without him in it.

He has slowly inched his way in, fighting to push those firmly erected walls of mine down. But in order for us to move forward, I need to tell him all about me, the real me. He needs to know my good, my bad, and my downright ugly side. Only then will I be completely comfortable with him in my life. I need to know that he’s not going to bolt when he realizes how screwed up my past is. His reaction to my past will be the defining moment in our relationship. It will determine whether the final wall can come crashing down or whether I’m setting myself up to have my heart ripped out again.

I leave him to sleep and make myself busy around the apartment, cleaning up and doing some reading for school in my bedroom. I hear him call out my name, and I rush to the living room to see him. When I get there, I see that he’s managed to sit himself up and is at least looking a little bit better than he did last night. He smiles at me and picks up his luke warm coffee, taking a sip, before moving on to his now cold breakfast. I take a seat next to him, and he puts his good arm around me, pulling me into his side.

He gives me a small squeeze. “Thank you, baby. You’re the sexiest nurse I’ve ever had” he muses.

“I’m probably the only nurse you’ve had looking after you like this, sexy or otherwise,” I reply with a grin, bumping him with my shoulder.

Oh my god, I just hurt his sore arm. “Shit, I’m so sorry, baby,” I apologize, leaning over to kiss his arm. “See, all better,” I say sweetly, looking back up at him through my lashes.

He looks at me with a smile on his face, quirking an eyebrow. “I suppose that will teach me for getting smart.”

I can’t stop the giggle that rises up.

“You said you needed to talk to me last night. What about?” he asks, settling back into the couch and pulling me with him.

“Are you sure you’re okay to talk about stuff now? We can wait until you’re feeling better,” I reply, second guessing my decision to tell him. Now that the moment is here, I’m losing my confidence.

“Yeah, babe. I’m fine. Now what is it?”

He moves his hand into mine and starts stroking his thumb backwards and forwards over my hand in the way I love. I feel empowered by his touch and decide it’s now or never. I take a deep breath.

“Well, I’m not sure where to start. I’ve told you that my parents and sister are gone.” I stare straight in his ice blue eyes.

“Yeah,” he replies, his body not giving any reaction away yet.

“What I didn’t tell you is that three years ago, while I was away at camp, my family was murdered.” I pause, taking the opportunity to try and swallow down that familiar lump forming in my chest. “I didn’t find out until the next day when the school principal and guidance counselor told me,” I sneak a glimpse at his face, trying to see any reaction.

“My God, Elle. I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry that this happened to you,” he says, pulling me into his chest again.

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago, but in order to deal with it I had shut myself off from the world. I left for camp, leaving behind a family that loved me, and two days later a gunman snatched them away from me forever. They didn’t even have a chance,” my voice wavers. I feel Brax stroking my hand again, like he is silently urging me to continue.

“I’ve often felt that I was the unlucky one to be left behind, that I should’ve been home with my family and been taken with them. But now that I’ve met you, I feel like the lucky one. I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet you if I had been with them.”

Elle’s confession is crushing me. She is such a beautiful person, inside and out. I just can’t imagine how she feels, hating herself because she is the one left behind.

“Babe, you are the most courageous woman I have ever met. I can’t imagine the pain you have been through, but I love that you feel lucky to have met me because I can tell you this,” I pause, making sure my words sink in, “My life was nothing until that moment I walked into that class and saw you.”

A sob escapes her throat, and she leans forward to kiss me. This time I don’t hold back. I kiss her with everything I have, trying to prove to her with my actions that everything I said is true. We pull away again and just look at each other.

“There’s more, Brax,” she says. “For the last three years I’ve been a shell, a numb vessel meandering through life. I haven’t wanted to feel anything. I’ve abused my body, let others use me, all in an effort to feel again. The moment I met you, I felt a warmth like I haven’t felt in a long time. You’ve made me feel something again, Brax. You’ve made me feel alive again, and for that I will be eternally grateful.” Her voice cracks on her last word.

“The other thing I haven’t told you is that my father was the owner of a very successful company that I now own a controlling stake in. Uncle Harry, the man you met the other night, is the acting CEO right now and my father’s old business partner.”

I raise my eyebrows at her. “He runs the company for you, then?” I ask, knowing that he does, but unsure whether she knows what he has been up to lately.

“Yeah. He’s okay, I suppose. He was my father’s best friend and has known me all my life. I went to live with him and his now ex-wife after it all happened. He has always been around, so it wasn’t really a surprise that he called in to check up on me a few weeks ago.”

I stare at her, thrown by that information. I didn’t know that she lived with Brimstone before coming here. I’m slowly connecting the dots in my head, and I don’t like what I’m discovering. I need to find out more.

“Do you know why he came here?” I ask.

“He said he was in the area for business and wanted to check up on me. But to be completely honest, I’m sure the only reason he called in was because he wants to buy me out of the company and the only way that can happen is if I allow the takeover,” she says, looking up at me waiting for my next question. This is the exact reason why Elle is under threat.

“And do you want to do that, Elle?” I wait for her answer, hoping with all my might that she won’t sell to that unscrupulous man. We know Brimstone is making moves against her, but we don’t know exactly what he’s planning. Whatever he does, I’m going to make sure that we’re a step ahead. I will not let him hurt her.