Lost in Distraction (Lost #1)(22)
Author: B.J. Harvey

After catching her breath, she gets up and kneels beside me, pushing my good shoulder back onto the bed and forcing me to lie down while her hands move to my belt. She gasps as she sees my obvious desire for her straining against my jeans. Carefully, she inches my pants and boxers down until they join her robe on the floor.

Moving back up the bed, she straddles my thighs as she moves to my centre, proceeding to return the favor I’d bestowed on her just moments before, using her hands and mouth to drive me crazy. I feel myself getting close as she pulls away and moves higher up my body before raising her hips above mine, leaning forward to whisper against my lips, “I love you Brax,” before pushing down and taking all of my length inside her. Those three words break the last ounce of control I am clinging to as she continues to kiss and explore and taste me. She lifts her hips at an achingly slow pace, grinding against me, forcing a groan to escape my throat with every thrust.

She feels exquisite. I’ve never been with anybody that has felt as good as Elle right now. Our bodies move together as we try to get as close as two people can get. I hold my hand on her hip as she continues to move against me, quietly moaning at the sensation. I start bucking up with her, forcing myself deeper. I can feel her tighten around me as she approaches the edge of the cliff. I prop myself up with my good arm, lifting my shoulders off the bed and forcing us both deeper still, kissing my way along her collar bone, towards her neck. Right now I don’t care about the pain in my shoulder and ribs. Being this close to her is worth all the pain in the world.

She increases her tempo, telling me she is getting close. Turning her head towards mine, she whispers against my lips, "Come with me,” just as I feel the pulsations start to surround me. That’s all it takes for me to follow her over, shouting out her name as I hold our bodies together. We’re both breathing deeply as we come down from our mutual high. In that moment, I realize that I may be in over my head, but know that I don’t ever want to be anywhere else.

2 months later

It’s been four months since I started this job and came into Elle’s life. Four months since I saw her photo and knew I had to have her.

It may have started off as a job, just another assignment from the big boss, but after being with her for the last four months the only thing I would change is not having to live a lie. It’s my daily torment. I’ve talked with Shay about how I feel about her and how its tearing me up inside having to deceive her but every time, after weighing up what I have to lose by telling her the truth, I always talk myself out of confessing everything to her. I hold on to the hope that she will understand why I have to lie to her and will continue loving me regardless. She has put so much trust in me and has been so honest. I swear my heart breaks a little more each day, knowing the depths of my deception.

Will she understand that I love her, despite the fact I was being paid to watch over her?

Will she believe in my love for her and forgive me?

It’s the weekend after Thanksgiving and we’re relaxing after a busy day of studying. I’m laying on the couch with Elle on top of me while we watch a movie. I feel her whole body jolt against mine, so I turn my head towards her, seeing those beautiful green eyes looking back at me.

‘Babe, do you like being here with me?” she asks.

“Sweetheart, what kind of question is that? I love being here with you, always,” I say with a smile, lifting my hands up to gently rub her shoulders. She groans in delight as I press my fingers in big sweeping circles. Must remember that for later tonight.

“I’m glad because I was thinking today about how you spend most of your time here now…” she pauses, looking over at me to gauge my reaction.

“Elle, if you want some space you just have to tell me, darlin,” I say.

“No! No, Brax, it’s not that. I definitely don’t want space from you,” she says, quietly panicking. “I was wondering if you wanted to move in with me….here?”

I stop breathing. I literally stop f**king breathing. It’s like the whole world is standing still, and I’m the only one moving. I reach over and pull her towards me, into my lap.

“Baby, I would love nothing more to move in with you, to take you to bed every night and wake up next to your beautiful face every morning. Knowing I would be coming home to you would be the highlight of my day, my month, my year. I’d love to move in with you. Hell, I’d do it right now if I could,” I say with a smile. I cup her face with my hands and slowly start kissing her, savoring this significant moment between us.

I’m choosing to ignore the nagging doubt at the back of my mind. It’s like the devil on my shoulder, telling me to enjoy this moment because it’ll all come crashing down around me soon.

“You’ve made me so happy again, Brax,” she murmurs against my neck as she burrows into my chest.

“That is my only purpose in life now, darlin’. Making you as happy as you’ve made me,” I say, tightening my grip around her.

This moment is bitter sweet. Knowing that I’m the one giving her a level of security she hasn’t experienced since her family’s deaths is phenomenal. The level of trust she has given me is tremendous and I feel like I am deceiving her by living a lie, but she is better not knowing the truth. There are family secrets that I’m not sure she would ever be able to handle, things that would shatter her memories of her family forever.

Deep down I’m hoping that this job will end and I will be able to stay here with her, protecting her so that she never has to find out the truth. I’m so grateful to have her in my life.

If only I could guarantee that she’ll stay there.

Chapter Ten

It’s been a month since Brax moved in officially and we’re about to spend our first Christmas together.

Since none of us have any family to speak of, Brax, Shay and I have decided to have a quiet Christmas at home. I’ve bought heaps of food and we‘re planning to stay in, enjoy a few drinks and share a few presents, just the three of us.

Living closely with a man for the first time in three years, there have been a few adjustments, but all in all it has been an easy transition. Because I own my apartment there is no rent to pay, so Brax and I just split the utility and grocery bills. Brax built up a lot of savings before starting college, so he doesn’t need a job. He just wants to focus on college. None of that matters to me. Hell, I could pay for everything without even noticing it, but he wants to pay his way. I’m just happy that we’re living together because I’ve never felt as content as I do right now.