Lost in Distraction (Lost #1)(8)
Author: B.J. Harvey

I know I’m distracted in my thoughts and Elle picks up on it. “Hey, are you alright? Sorry for losing track of time,” she says, getting my attention.

I look down at her and can’t help but smile. She’s tall for a woman, but still shorter than my six feet, two inches. Her heels probably help, too. Damn, those boots do killer things to her legs. They make them look long and sexy as hell.

“Yeah, ba…Elle, we’re all good. Let’s get you home and out of this cold,” I reply, putting my hand on her back as we walk towards the front door of her building. I feel a warmth radiate through my body whenever I touch her. It is amazing how a simple touch can do that.

When we are almost at her door, I spot Shay’s car parked a few houses down. I nod in his direction, our own signal which lets him know he’s off duty. Once I get home I’ll check in with him and see if he has anything to report, although I’m sure I would have heard by now if it wasn’t safe for her to return home. I’ll still feel better after a debrief. After opening the door and ushering Elle inside, we climb the two flights of stairs to the first floor and reach her apartment door. I’m suddenly feeling nervous. I haven’t felt this way in years.

What am I, a damn teenager?

She smiles then turns to put her key in the door, unlocking and opening the door. Just as she goes to open it, she pauses and turns back to me. She’s looking at my chest, like she is having a war of words in her head. Damn, there is that blush again.

I can’t resist touching her. I place my index finger under her chin and gently raise her face to mine. I slowly move in until I’m close enough to feel her breath on my face. Unable to stop myself, I cup her cheek with my hand. “Good night,” I whisper before I kiss her lips, gently parting them with my tongue. Her whole body stills as her lips and tongue start to follow my lead.

Deciding that I need to pull away before I lose all self-control, I open my eyes and end the rousing kiss. The expression on her face is so enticing and her sparkling green eyes are full of wonder. That was just…

I’m speechless.

I stare down at her, taking her all in. By the look on her face, I’m hoping she feels this too.

“Goodnight, Brax,” she whispers as I pull my hand away from her cheek.

“Goodnight, Elle,” I murmur back, kissing her on the cheek. With a huge smile on my face, I turn and walk away towards the stairs. I don’t look back for fear of losing all of my restraint. I can’t afford to lose control with her. There is too much at stake. Her safety, my job, whatever this is that is developing between us.

Oh my God. He kissed me.

He smelled like beer, pizza and mint. Such a heady combination, but he smelled delicious. It was so sweet and light and my whole mouth was tingling wherever he touched.

My first kiss with Brax and I’m literally ruined.

I quickly open my door and close it behind me. Leaning back against it, I try to calm my frazzled nerves. I shake my head. Damn that man. He has done something no one else has done for the past three years. He has made my heart beat again, made me feel something, and goddamn if I don’t want more of him. I walk towards my bedroom, turning off the lights with only one thing on my mind.

When can I kiss Brax again?

Chapter Four

I wake up around 8 a.m. and lay in bed for a while, just looking at the ceiling. I had another nightmare last night, but it didn’t last long before I woke up, bathed in sweat and shaking. They’ve been coming frequently again.

It’s the same dream every time.

It starts with me, coming home from school camp the day after it had happened, having no idea what the hell what is going on when the Principal ushers me off the bus and takes me down to her office where the school counselor is waiting for us. Then she tells me that my family is gone and, as if she’s speaking my own thoughts, tells me I’m now all alone.

The dream plays out exactly as it all happened. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on it now and sometimes I think it would’ve been better if they had just come out and said the truth—that in reality my family had been tortured and shot at point blank range. How in the space of a few hours, my successful and loving father, my doting mother, and my innocent ten year old sister were ripped from my life.

My sweet sister Paige didn’t even get a chance at life. She had dreams and she had hopes. She used to tell me she wanted to be a nurse when she grew up, and she would have been a great one! She was so caring, a natural nurturer. She got that from my mom, who was amazing.

I remember mom being there every morning when we left for school and every afternoon when we got home. She would ask me about my day and always showed an interest in everything Paige and I did. My father was a workaholic, always telling me that hard work never killed anyone. When he was at home, he treated us like princesses and in many ways my dad was, and still is, my hero.

After their deaths, the news reports that suggested that his business was the reason for the attack. There were investigations, but no suspect ever came to light and nothing incriminating was found with his company.

My company now, I suppose.

My nightmares always end the same way. Me, walking into my old house that is now red with blood, and coming face to the face with their killer. His black eyes boring into me as we stand in front of each other, unable to move. I see the sparkle in his eyes as he raises the gun towards me, telling me that I’m next. That is when I wake up shaking, tears clinging to my face and my pajamas wet with sweat.

My thoughts are scattered after my dream, but soon enough they return to Brax. The kiss was a surprise and may have been a small moment in time, but to me it was everything. When he put his finger under my chin and lifted my face to his so I couldn’t avoid his gaze any longer, I found it hard to breathe. My heart was racing and my palms were clammy.

I knew the moment our lips touched that the tingly feeling was more than just a physical reaction. I hardly know him, yet I know Brax has already touched my soul. I want to see him again. I want to spend more time getting to know him, finding out what makes him tick and working out how he has managed to do what I haven’t been able to do for the past three years.

Make me feel something again.

Watching him yesterday in the library and last night at the restaurant, I can tell there is an air of authority about him. His movements are calculated, almost mechanical. It’s obvious he was in the Army. You can see it in the way he walks and the way he is always looking around, like he is scanning his surroundings.