Love with Me

Alec rolls his eyes.

“You might have to call your lawyer,” I suggest. “I know it’s expensive and no one likes going that route, but you have the right to be with your kids.”

“I’ve already made the call,” he says. “You know, I never would have thought we’d be here. We were as in love as anyone, with a happy family. A nice home. Good careers. And then, out of the blue, bam. She’s unhappy and wants out. Just like that. No explanation. Just wants out.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. I’ve just taken up a good portion of your evening bitching about my ex-wife.”

“Well, I wasn’t doing anything else, and you helped take my mind off of my own problems.”

“What’s going on with you?”

I sigh, wondering where to begin. I can’t tell him about the baby. I haven’t even told my family about that yet.

Hell, I haven’t even told Jace.

“Let’s just say that relationships are complicated.”

“I hear you,” he says with a nod. “You know, we were just wrapping up dinner. I’d love to take you out for dessert.”

Before I can reply, I hear, “She won’t be going anywhere with you.”

My head whips around, and I find a very angry Jace standing behind me.

“Looks like your friend is here,” Alec says and winks at me before nodding at Jace and respectfully walking away.

Alec is a good guy. If I weren’t ridiculously in love with Jace, I’d consider dating him.

“Hello,” I say as Jace takes his seat and glares at me from across the table. I open the check that I’ve already paid, put my card away, and sign the credit card slip, all without saying another word to the man sitting across from me.

“That’s it?” he asks.

“That’s it,” I confirm as I drink the last of my water.

“Where is your engagement ring?” His lips are tight, his eyes shooting daggers, and I want to laugh. Maybe it’s hormones, but I don’t want to cry or rage at him. I don’t want to slap him as much as I did just minutes ago.

No, I want to laugh my ass off from the sheer absurdity of it all.

“It’s at home,” I reply, not taking my eyes off of his. I’m practically daring him to start something here in this restaurant.

“Were you planning on breaking up with me tonight?” he asks, and all I can do is roll my eyes.

Jesus, I don’t need this from him. I don’t need the jealousy, his insecurity.

If anyone should be feeling insecure here, it’s me.

So, I do the adult thing, and rather than start a big knock-down, drag-out here in my favorite restaurant, I grab my purse, stand, and walk out of the building.

~Joy~

“You’ve lost your damn mind,” I mutter to myself as I march out of the building, my shoes clicking smartly on the sidewalk.

“Joy,” Jace barks behind me. “Stop right now and tell me what the fuck is going on.”

“No.” I stop and round on him, fire consuming me. “You don’t get to talk to me like that. You don’t get to be mad, Jace. You’re almost three goddamn hours late! What did you expect me to do?”

“Well, I didn’t expect you to find a new date, I’ll tell you that right now.”

“Jesus,” I mutter, turning away in disgust. “He’s a client from work who saw me there alone and stopped to chat.”

“And invite you out to dessert,” he snarls, wrinkling his nose at dessert. “Would you rather go with him, Joy?”

“No,” I reply honestly. “No, I’d rather my fiancé show up when he says he will. But I should want to go with him. I shouldn’t stand here and give you the chance to explain yourself. I haven’t seen you in a month. And no, sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night to get your rocks off doesn’t count.”

He snarls, truly irate at me for the first time in the fifteen years I’ve known him.

“You knew that I’d be swamped at work.”

“Yep,” I reply with a nod. “I did. And I told you that. And then you swore to me that I wouldn’t feel less than your job. That you’d make me a priority. You’ve never broken a promise to me before this.”

“Joy, I’m trying to get my feet under me.”

“Yeah? Me, too!”

“You—”

“I’m pregnant,” I interrupt and watch his eyes go wide as we stand in silence staring at each other, our breaths coming fast in the cool night.

“What did you say?”

“I’m pregnant,” I repeat, softer this time.

“How long have you known?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “About six hours, Jace. But if I’d known for six days, you still wouldn’t know because you don’t return a fucking phone call.”

“Can we get past the fact that I’m a fuck-up in the communication department and go back to the whole pregnancy thing?”

“Sure.” I cross my arms over my chest. I don’t love that we’re having this conversation on the sidewalk, but I’ll be damned if I invite him back to my house. “The nausea, the swelling, aches? Not the flu. I’m knocked up.”

“You said it wasn’t the right time to get pregnant.”

I narrow my eyes at him again. Okay, now I want to slap him. “It wasn’t. Obviously, it’s not an exact science. You should know that, Dr. Crawford.”

“All right.” He holds up his hands in surrender and shakes his head. “This is ridiculous. I’m not blaming you for anything, and this is a great thing.”

“Is it?” I demand, cocking my head to the side. “Really? Because I’m not so sure.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m not sure about anything. I don’t know if I want to marry you, Jace. What kind of a father and husband will you be? The kind who’s never around? Who misses birthdays and holidays and soccer games because someone is dying somewhere and you’re the only doctor who can fix them? You’re not here.”

It’s obvious he’s fuming, his hands curl into fists at his sides as he stands and silently listens to me rant.

“Maybe this schedule was okay when you were my best friend, and I had my own life, and I was just so fucking proud of you. I still am!” I throw my hands in the air and pace around the sidewalk. “But it’s not okay now. We’re not just friends, and I’m too needy. We knew that sleeping together would change everything, and it did. I’m in love with you. I’m not willing to accept the scraps you throw me when the job has finished chewing you up and spitting you out.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No.” I shrug, shaking my head. “No, it’s not fair at all. And yet, here we are. You’re so fucking stubborn, you think you can make it all fall into place and work out, but Jace, you can’t. You’re one man, and there are only twenty-four hours in a day.”

“What do you want me to do?” he demands. “Do you want me to quit being a surgeon?”

“No. You are a surgeon. It’s your lifeblood.” I want to go to him, to wrap my arms around him and assure us both that it’ll all be okay.

But I’m not convinced that it will be.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he says and swallows hard.

“I don’t want that, either. I don’t know what the answer is, but I know what it isn’t. This past month has been hell for me, Jace. I completely lost you, and I will not do that to our child. We need you. So, I suggest you get it together and figure out how you’re going to be there for us because we deserve nothing less than that.”

I lay my hand over my still-flat stomach, and his eyes follow the motion, softening with love.

“I love you, Joy.”

“I love you, too.”

Tears threaten as I gaze at him, and then I can’t take it anymore. I turn away and march down the sidewalk to my car. Once inside, I fire the engine and drive away, desperate to put some miles between us. I don’t want him to see me fall apart.