Masquerade (Heven and Hell #1)(49)
Author: Cambria Hebert

I turned away, not wanting to see the look in her eyes, to see what it would like when she turned me away.

“That woman said you had secrets. She said that you lie. Do you know what this is about?”

I thought about making something up, to spin an elaborate tale. But I was exhausted, I was tired of lying, of wearing a mask. I decided then that even though I had no clue how to say it, the truth was going to come out tonight. Maybe she would give me a chance to explain. Unfortunately, I didn’t think that she would be proclaiming her love for me tonight. The loss of that potential moment cut me like a sword.

With a heavy heart I answered her question. “Yeah.”

“What’s going on?”

“My time has run out.”

Chapter Fourteen

Heven

“You’re scaring me,” I said for the twentieth time.

“I’m sorry,” he answered for the twentieth time.

The elevator dinged open, and I moved to step out, but he caught me and pushed himself out into the hall ahead of me. Did he think that woman was going to come back and find us? A violent shudder ran up my back at the thought. She was scary. There had been something in her eyes that wasn’t right – unbalanced.

Sam towed me along beside him, stopping a few feet down the hall and swiping his key, all the while keeping his attention on our surroundings. The door buzzed, and he shoved me into the room, snapping the locks behind us.

Unease began churning in my belly, and I felt panic rising up in my chest. I fought it back –going over by the window, hoping the view outside would calm me. It didn’t. I was going to have a panic attack if I couldn’t get some air…

Sam’s strong arms circled me from behind and he pulled me into his chest. “Easy,” he murmured, stroking my hair. “You’re safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

I trembled in his arms and fought for control. He kept murmuring, gently rocking me back and forth. To my relief I began to calm. I could think again.

What was going on? Who was that woman, and how did Sam know her? All the previous warnings that I sometimes felt with Sam came back to me, and I felt foolish for ignoring them. I stiffened in his embrace, and with a sigh, he let me go. I turned to face him. I took a moment to study him, to memorize the angles and plains of his face, to remember the way his shaggy blond hair fell over his ears and the exact color of his eyes. I needed to remember these things. Because something deep down told me that I might never see him again.

Pain. I thought I understood pain when I was in the hospital after the attack. I thought I knew it the first time I went out in public wearing my scar. While those things hurt, this was a far deeper kind of pain. If I lost him, I know I would never forget, never escape this pain. Compared to the scars on my face the ones this pain would leave inside would be, by far, more horrifying and more traumatizing.

“Sam?”

“It’s pretty bad.”

“What is?”

“I had hoped…”

“Hoped?”

Despair showed in his eyes. “That if you loved me it might make a difference.”

I do love you! I wanted to shout, but I couldn’t. Something had changed.

“What I’m going to tell you is unbelievable.”

I swallowed.

“Will you give me the chance to explain it all to you?”

I nodded.

“Promise me, Heven.”

“I promise.”

He shot forward and seized me up and before I could protest his lips were on mine, and I was instantly reminded of all the things I loved about him, of the safety and security I felt when he was near. But there was also something about this kiss that was different – it was desperate and a little sad.

He tore himself away and put some distance between us.

I put a hand to my tender lips.

“I know what happened to you.”

My hand fell away. “What do you mean?”

“Your attack. I know who did it.”

“You know who attacked me? You know why my face is like this?” Denial – sharp and strong bit through me. He didn’t know. How could he? If he did he would have known something, he would have told me. He knew how much that night haunted me. He knew that I looked over my shoulder everywhere I went. He knew that I was frightened of every shadow that appeared when the sun went down.

He nodded. “There are people out there who aren’t completely human.”

“Why are you saying these things?” My head was swimming; he was saying things that made no sense. First, he says that he knew what happened to me, and then he says something completely ridiculous. Was he trying to be cruel? If he knew how my face got destroyed why wouldn’t he just say it? This is not funny. This is not a game.

The hazel of his eyes smoldered, and I couldn’t look away, even though I was completely terrified. “Some people can’t help how they are born.”

I hated the tortured look on his face, the overwhelming sense of loss that was permeating the room. I wanted to go to him. To touch him. To feel him. But I was too afraid to get that close. He was scaring me.

“I made choices that hurt you. Choices I regret…” his voice broke. “I never asked for any of this.”

“If you know what happened to me – then spit it out! Tell me!” The only way he would know about my attack was if he was there…if he had been involved. I wanted to gag. He couldn’t have done this to me. I trusted him.

“It was my family.” His eyes begged for forgiveness.

“Your family?” I squeaked. My mind was racing and I couldn’t form a thought. He never talked about his family; he’d said he didn’t have one.

He’d lied.

“Yes.” He pushed his hands through his hair.

I shook my head trying to clear it, he wasn’t making sense. “I don’t understand.” He couldn’t have done this to me. The marks on my skin were made by an animal. I was almost positive. In my dream something heavy and warm had pressed me down. I felt sharpness of claws and heard the inhuman sounds it made. No, I hadn’t been attacked by Sam. I had been attacked by an animal.

“I’m not like you,” he bit out.

“You’re not?” An echo of his earlier words floated through my head. There are people out there who aren’t completely human. I swallowed past the bile rising in my throat. I wanted to sit down, but sitting made me feel vulnerable. I couldn’t let myself feel any more vulnerable right now that I already did.