Melancholy
“Chief, since when did you become a babysitter?”
He grins. “Since you decided to date that douchebag.”
“He’s not a douchebag,” I say, poking his chest with my finger.
“He is a douchebag.” He smirks. “The man probably has never done anything but stroke his own—”
“Mack,” I warn.
He flashes a sexy grin at me.
“Take me to the club. I want to see Maddox.”
His eyes grow serious. “Why? Did that fucker hurt you?”
I roll my eyes again, and climb onto the back of his bike.
“Get moving, oh mighty one.”
He laughs and pulls out, patting my hand with amusement. We arrive at the clubhouse and the moment the bike stops, I leap off. “Save me a drink,” I yell as I hurry into the space.
The moment I step inside, a party is in full swing. Bikers are lazed about drinking beer, girls are walking around, slinking all over them, and old ladies are laughing and chatting in the corner. I wave to them as I pass and walk off down the hall.
I reach Maddox’s room, and swing the door open, I don’t care if he’s occupied or not. He is. He’s got the club whore, Cacey, dancing for him. Her naked body slinks about seductively. He swings his eyes to me, and a smirk appears on his face. God he looks good, damn him. Damn him to hell.
“You and I are going to talk,” I say, stepping in. I turn to Cacey. “Shoo.”
She glares at me. “Fuck off, Santana.”
I laugh. “Out.”
“Get out,” Maddox grumbles.
Cacey takes her clothes, and glares at me once more before leaving. Aw, I took her cock for the night. I turn back to Maddox and he reaches over, taking a cigarette and lighting it.
“Have a good time?” He smirks, taking a drag.
“It was great, except for the trail of bikes. How long do I have to let them follow me, Maddox?”
He snorts. “For as long as I say.”
“Really? Alec can take care of me. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. Besides, he couldn’t even kiss me comfortably without those guys glaring at him.”
Maddox snorts, taking another long drag. “Alec . . . what sort of name is that anyway?”
“What sort of name is Maddox?” I throw back.
He grins, unperturbed by my comment. “A very sexy one.”
“Oh, dream on.”
“I’m surprised Alec even knows how to kiss.” He snorts.
“He kisses very well, thank you,” I argue, throwing my hands on my hips.“Does he now? And what have you got to compare it to?”
I flush, and shift from one foot to the other. I am a virgin. Which is a small miracle, considering the life I lived. I was lucky, truly blessed, that no one took what was mine before I wanted to give it. That also means kissing men is a big thing for me, I’ve only kissed two in my life: Kennedy and Alec. Kennedy is one that has lodged itself into a part of my brain I try not to access.
“He’s the first one, ain’t he, baby?”
“Stop calling me that,” I snap. “And he isn’t the first. Even if he were, it wouldn’t matter. It felt amazing.”
“Make your panties wet?”
“Maddox!” I snap.
He grins. “Did it, honey?”
“Fuck you.”
“Answer the question.”
“No it did not. It was a kiss, not a fondle.”
His grin widens. “When a man kisses you, and he really means it, and you really feel it, then you will ache for him. Everywhere.”
My cheeks flame, and I turn away. “We are not having this conversation.”
“Alec is too good for you, Tana. He’s a perfect man who will bore the shit out of you in a month.”
“You’re wrong, Maddox. He’s much more than boring—he’s sweet and kind, and he treats me how I want to be treated.”
“You sure about that?”
I don’t look at him as I walk towards the door. “Yes.”
At least, I think I am.
CHAPTER SEVEN
2009 – Santana
My body aches. It hurts so badly I want to scream. I can’t get the drugs I need, the drugs I so desperately want. Kennedy has been away for three days and without him, I can’t get them. I rock in the corner, backwards and forwards, trying to keep calm. Pippa has come in a few times, offering water, but at my third refusal she left me alone.
Now I’m by myself, cold and terrified, desperate for something to take away this knowing pain in my soul. I scratch at my arms, my nails biting into the skin as it peels back, revealing crimson blood. I yell, but I can’t stop. It’s the only relief I can find. I wish he would come back. I wish he would hurry.
“Tanie, oh, sweet Tanie.”
I look up through my haze and see Kennedy at the door. I lunge at him, my fingers scratching at his pants. “Please,” I beg. “Make it go away.”
“I’m going to make it go away, sweetheart.”
He drops to his knees, tightening that yellow cord around my arm before plunging the needle in. Warmth floods me, and I whimper in relief as the drugs take over. “It’s okay now, I’m sorry. I had to go away. I’m sorry, Tanie.”
It doesn’t matter now. He’s here, that’s all that matters.
~*~*~*~
“Get out!” Alyce screams, throwing a large saucepan at my head.
My legs tremble as I take Pippa’s hand, pulling her towards the door. Kennedy convulses on the ground, vomit rising up and dribbling out of his mouth. I stare at him, wanting to help but this woman . . . his mother . . . won’t let us near him. She doesn’t understand what he’s taken.