Melancholy

“Don’t leave me, Tanie. I will never be the same without you.”

“I won’t leave you. I love you,” I murmur, closing my eyes and letting the drug-induced haze take over my mind and body.

“And I love you. One day, when you’re old enough, I’ll show you how much.”

“Will you make love to me, Kennedy?”

He chuckles softly. “Yes, sweetheart. And I’ll make it amazing.”

Hmmmm. I know he will. He loves me. He tells me every day. He looks after me and Pippa, keeping us safe when no one else will. I don’t know what my life would be like without him. I let my eyes open and I stare up at him.

“Can you kiss me? I’m not too young for that.”

His eyes flicker. “You want me to kiss you, Tanie?”

I nod eagerly, pushing myself up until our mouths are close. “Yes.”

“If I kiss you, I may not be able to stop.”

“I trust you, Kennedy,” I say, tangling my fingers into his shirt and pulling him forward.

He kisses me, softly. His lips move over mine, but he doesn’t press to slide his tongue into my mouth like I’ve seen in the movies. He just moves his lips over mine, sending little tingles throughout my body. I whimper, clinging to him, my mind spinning.

“That’s enough, sweetheart,” he says, his voice husky and low. “I won’t stop.”

He tucks me back against his chest and I close my eyes again, feeling content, feeling safe, and feeling loved.

“Are those men in the black going to come back and take you from me?” I ask as sleep creeps up to take over.

“No, I won’t let anyone take you from me, Tanie. No one.”

I hope he’s right.

~*~*~*~

2014 – Santana

I’m curled up on the couch; Alec is sitting by my side. I’ve been at Mack’s house now for three nights, and not once has Maddox come by. He’s still angry at me, and he won’t take my calls or answer my texts. I know he’s checking in with Mack, but he’s refusing to speak to me.

Alec called yesterday, asking if we could hang out. I asked Mack and he was fine with it; he was heading in to the club to see Maddox and said he wouldn’t be here. Of course Rhyder, Zaid and the new prospect Austin are outside watching. I couldn't be left alone.

Alec brought movies and popcorn, so we’ve spent the last few hours watching them. I’m enjoying being tucked into Alec’s arm, but for some, strange reason, being tucked into him like this brings back old memories of Kennedy. I don’t think about Kennedy much these days, figuring he’s probably dead.

He was the first man I loved, but I know it was for all the wrong reasons. He was light in a dark time; only he was somewhat of a mirage. He wasn’t what I thought he was, but he still meant something to me. He took care of Pippa and I, always making sure we were safe.

At least until that horrible night that changed my life, and took my sister with it.

I shudder thinking about it, and tuck myself further into Alec’s arms. He squeezes my shoulder, clearly having felt my trembling. “Are you okay?” he asks, shifting so he can stare down at me. I look up and smile. “Sure.”

He leans down then, capturing my mouth in a soft, gentle kiss. His mouth isn’t rough like Maddox’s—instead it caresses mine as if I’m made of silk. Maddox took me like we were the last two people on earth, and he needed me to breathe. I shake thoughts of Maddox from my mind and kiss Alec back, equally as gentle, running my hands over his chest and squeezing.

That’s when the front door swings open. I leap backwards, stumbling and falling off the couch. I look up to see Mack, Maddox, Krypt and Ash standing at the door, staring at me. Then their eyes all turn to Alec. My cheeks burn as I look over to Alec, who has a pillow pressed to his . . . oh my God. He’s got a boner.

With a squeak, I get to my feet. Maddox is glaring at Alec so hard I’m surprised the man hasn’t lit on fire and burned to the ground. Mack is smothering a laugh alongside Krypt, who is doing the same. Ash is grinning at me, clearly proud.

“I . . . ah . . .” I begin, but there’s nothing to say. They came in and busted us right in the middle of a make-out session. It wasn’t hot and heavy, sure, but it was a make-out session all the same.

I reach for Alec. “Let’s go to my room.”

“I don’t fuckin’ think so,” Maddox growls.

God help me.

I turn to him, my face tight. “It’s not up to you.”

“It is up to me, considerin’ I was in your bed only a week ago with my mouth on your—”

“Fuck you!” I bellow, charging towards him, and shoving at his chest. “How dare you!”

“Whoa,” Ash says, pulling me back. “Let’s calm this down. Poor Alec looks super angry.”

I turn back to Alec, who is now standing and gathering his things. He gives me a look, and it burns right through me. “Alec . . .”

“It’s fine,” he grates out. “I’ll call.”

No he won’t; not if I don’t stop him.

“Please . . .”

He gives me a hard stare. “It’s clear you’ve made a joke of me.”

“No!” I cry. “That’s not true.”

Maddox snorts. Alec glares at him, and then walks out the front door. I go to chase after him, but all the bikers stand in front of the opening, not letting me through. Tears burn in my eyes and I turn to Maddox. “How could you do something like that to him?”