Melancholy
He finally pulls his fingers away and pushes back, reaching into his jeans to pull out a condom. This bothers me, because I don’t understand why he would have it in there to begin with. Did Alec plan on taking this tonight? I swallow it down, knowing I’m over-reacting. I need to be calm, I need to enjoy this.
Stop thinking, start feeling.
I watch as Alec rolls the condom over his cock. I’ve never seen a man like this, and finally laying my eyes on what makes them male has my cheeks growing pink. It’s sexy, in its own special way. Alec strokes his hand over it as he leans over me with a sultry look.
“Are you ready?” he murmurs.
“Yes.”
I close my eyes when his mouth finds my neck, and he presses his length to my entrance. I bite my bottom lip; waiting for him to just ease in and . . . he shoves in without hesitation. A burning fire courses through my body, causing a strangled cry to leave my lips. He doesn’t even notice—he just grunts out a few words about how good it feels, and begins thrusting.
Tears roll down my cheeks as pain rips through my body. Oh God, it hurts, it hurts so bad. I whimper, but he doesn’t even realize it’s out of pain. He keeps his head in my shoulder as he thrusts, hard and fast. My sex is dry, and it feels like someone has put a piece of sandpaper inside me.
“God, you feel so fucking good,” he groans. “So tight.”
Make it stop, please.
It’ll get better. It will. They all say it will. It’s just the first time. That’s all.
I tell myself this over and over as tears stream down my face, but when the burning gets too intense, I know I can’t take it any longer. I shove at his chest, rapidly, over and over. “Stop,” I croak. “Alec, stop. It hurts.”
“I can’t,” he grinds out. “I’m so close.”
“Please,” I whimper. “Stop.”
He thrusts quicker. “Nearly . . . there . . . oh God.”
“Stop!” I wail, shoving harder. “I said stop, stop, stop!”
“Oh fuck,” he bellows, and I can feel every pulse as he releases into the condom.
I hiccup angrily, hurt and used. He pulls out of me and stares down, a lazy smirk on his face. He notices my tears and narrows his eyes. “Why are you crying?”
“Why?” I screech, shoving his chest.
He moves off me quickly, and watches as I pull on my clothes. I hiccup, stumble and sob, horrified that I gave something I protected for so long to an asshole who was more concerned about getting his rocks off.
“So this is how it feels.” I laugh bitterly. “This is what it’s like to be played.”
He stares at me. “You asked for that. Don't turn around and act like it’s on me now.”
Seriously?“I thought you were a good guy,” I sob. “When a girl asks you to stop, you fucking stop.”
He shakes his head. “I should have known you were one of them, one of those girls that tease and then cry when it happens.”
I gape at him. “Excuse me?”
“You wanted that, Santana. And if you didn’t want it, why come here? Don’t you blame this on me. You've been playing around like a two-dollar hooker with both Maddox and me . . .”
I shake my head, turning sharply, and fetching my purse and phone. My sex aches and burns as I move, and my tears well and fall even heavier with each step towards the door.
“Where are you going?” he yells behind me.
“I’m calling Maddox and . . .”
“Hell no,” he barks, charging towards me. Fear courses through my veins as I take two steps back. “You’re not callin’ him making up stories about what I did . . . I did fucking nothing.”
My hands tremble as I turn, shoving his front door open. He curses, but has to pull his clothes on before he can follow me. It gives me a minute, if I’m lucky. I dial Maddox quickly.
“Where the fuck are—”
“Maddox,” I croak, my voice weak.
“What’s happened?” he barks.
“I . . . I need you to come and get me, please.”
He must hear something in my voice, because his softens. “Where are you? Are you hurt?”
“Don’t call that bastard!” Alec barks. “Don’t you lie to him, Santana.”
“What the fuck is goin’ on?” Maddox demands.
“Please,” I croak. “Come and get me.”
I rattle off the address and hang up. I turn to Alec, who has just reached the door. “Don’t come near me,” I warn, my voice weak. “You touch me, you’re dead.”
“I knew it.” He laughs bitterly. “I knew you were just looking for a good time, using me and playing with my head.”
“Me?” I snap. “You had a condom in your pocket when you came over with your fake ‘let’s watch movies’ bullshit tonight. You just wanted to fuck me; you’re the true definition of a player, Alec, and here I was thinking you were a nice guy.”
He snorts. “I am a nice guy, when the girl isn’t a cheap whore. You dare tell Maddox I hurt you, there’ll be problems.”
“What are you going to do?” I laugh hoarsely. “Huh?”
He steps into the house, slamming the door in my face. I turn and go to sit down, but the moment I do, pain shoots up through my body. I stand again, my eyes filling with more hopeless tears. The rumble of a Harley Davidson fills my ears only twenty minutes later. Thank God Maddox is alone.