Melancholy
He softens in my hand, and he lets me go. He stares at me like I’m the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He reaches up and swipes his release off my chin, and then he brings it to my mouth. I know what he wants from me, but do I have it in me to be that girl? That dirty, erotic girl? I meet his eyes.
“Taste me, honey,” he murmurs. “Let me see your mouth around my finger.”
That does it for me.
I lean forward and open my lips. He slides his finger into my mouth, and the taste of him swirls over my tongue. I suck him off, taking him, letting him inside me in a way he’s never been before. His breathing deepens and a throaty groan escapes his parted lips. He slips his finger from me, curls his hand around the back of my head, and jerks me forward, devouring me with his mouth.
Oh. My. God.
His tongue and my tongue share his taste, swirling it around our mouths. Our groans mingle and I whimper, clutching Maddox’s shirt and pressing myself against him.
Then a knock sounds out.
We pull apart, lips puffy, breathing ragged.
“What?” Maddox barks.
“Need a word, bro,” Mack calls out. “Now.”
His tone sounds quite urgent. Maddox turns to me. “Sorry, honey.”
I’ve already got my panties and bra on. I take my dress and pull it over my head, while saying, “It’s okay.”
“Hey,” Maddox says, doing up his jeans. “Look at me.”
I look up at him.
“That was fuckin’ perfect. Don't you walk outta here regrettin’ it. You hear me?”
I nod.
He steps forward and kisses me, hard and quick.
Then he’s gone.
~*~*~*~
MADDOX
“What’s so fuckin’ important you’d pull me from bein’ with that girl?”
Mack turns to me, his face stony. “Got a response from Kennedy.”
I tense. I sent word that I wanted to see him, but of course he didn’t want a bar of it. Probably thinkin’ I was a drug lord comin’ to threaten him.
“And?” I prompt.
“He will see you.”
I grin. “Fuckin’ ripper.”
“But he wants Santana there, too.”
My blood goes cold. “How the fuck does he know about Santana bein’ with me?”
“Prisoners talk. Wouldn't be hard for him to find out who you are. Especially with some of the Tinmen behind bars.”“Fuck,” I bark. “No fuckin’ way.”
“Way,” Mack grunts. “And he’s threatenin’ to get word to her himself if you don’t bring her.”
“That piece of shit,” I snarl, crossing my arms.
“You know what this means, don’t you?”
“It means you’re goin’ to have to tell her,” Krypt says, coming into the room.
“Fuck off, Krypt. Don’t start pushin’ me. I just fuckin’ got her, and you’re both askin’ me to break her heart.”
“You can’t keep dancin’ around this,” Krypt growls. “She deserves to know.”
“And I’ll tell her,” I snarl. “When I know where her fuckin’ sister is.”
“Kennedy is the only man who can tell you that, and to tell you, he wants to see Santana.”
“Not happenin’,” I snap.
“You ain’t got a choice,” Mack said. “You don’t take her, he’ll find a way to get word to her. She don’t deserve to hear this from him, Maddox.”
I run my hands through my hair, growling and sighing. “I need time, give me a few weeks. Get word back to him, tell him I’ll bring her in a few weeks, that right now she ain’t safe. Might hold him off.”
“You’re a selfish cunt, Maddox,” Krypt barks.
I turn to him, shooting daggers in his direction. “What did you just fuckin’ say?”
“You heard me,” he says, getting up in my face. “You’re a selfish motherfucker. That girl cares about you, you care about her, and you’re lettin’ her fuckin’ get close to you when you know, you fuckin’ know it’s goin’ to break her.”
“Ain’t none of your business,” I hiss.
“If you cared about her at all, you’d fuckin’ stop until she knows. Not only are you goin’ to break her heart when she finds out about her sister, but you’re goin’ to crush her too, because she’ll have fallen for you. Walk the fuck away until this shit has been sorted, you selfish fuck.”
He’s right. He’s fuckin’ right. What the fuck am I doing? I’m letting her fall for me, which in turn is only going to break her heart further when she knows what I’ve done. I run my hands through my hair, and a feral hiss leaves my lips.
“Fuck,” I bark. “Motherfucker.”
“Ain’t sayin’ you can’t care about her, boss,” Krypt says, his voice like ice. “But you need to tell her before she falls for you.”
“I’ll fuckin’ lose her,” I snarl. “And she’s all I’ve got.”
Krypt shrugs. “You have to live with what you’ve done. Ain't no one goin’ to take that shit for you.”
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
2008 – Santana
“Did you get rid of that shit?”
A voice. Barked. Rough.
My head pounds and I roll to my side, blinking rapidly. Where am I? What happened? I see nothing but darkness, even though my eyes are open. I blink again, and a blinding pain radiates through my head. I whimper loudly. God, what happened?