Melancholy

They don’t.

I give the driver Maddox’s address, and he doesn’t even notice me as he drives out. Thank God, he might have thrown me out, or worse, called the cops. I sit in silence the entire way and when the driver pulls up, I pull a twenty from my jeans pockets, grateful I always keep one in my pants. I’ve learned that lesson the hard way.

The driver still doesn’t glance at me as he snatches the money and I get out. He drives off and I rush towards Maddox’s house, stopping when I see Tyke and Austin standing watch. Their eyes fall on me, and Tyke wheels himself closer, his face twisted with rage. “What the fuck, Sant . . .”

His voice trails off when I step into the light.

“Motherfucker, MADDOX!”

Austin rushes inside the house as I finally let the tears fall. All I wanted to do was see Maddox, I didn’t . . . God, I didn’t realize it was this bad. Tyke reaches out, putting an arm around my hips as he forces me closer to the house, his eyes darting about with concern.

“What. The. Fuck?”

Maddox’s voice comes out like an icy whip, lashing against my skin and making my tears flow harder. I turn towards him, and his eyes widen with shock and pure rage.

“I . . .”

“Where’s Mack?” he barks, looking around. “What happened?”

“I . . .”

“Well?” he roars.

“I snuck out!” I cry. “They . . . they shot at me . . .”

“Get inside,” he bellows, so loudly I flinch. “Fuckin’ now.”

Oh God. I rush past him and into the house. My eyes blur with angry tears as I run towards the bathroom.

“Stop.”

His voice, like a damned acid-filled bullet, has me stopping and turning halfway up the stairs.

“Get. Down. Here. Now.”

God, he’s so angry. With shaky legs, I turn and walk down the stairs, trying hard to even out my breathing. My tears have stopped, and I’m filled with a mix of anger and fear.

“Get on the fuckin’ couch!”

I do as he asks, sitting down on the couch. I stare down at my knees and a pained wince comes out as I clearly see the damage done. This takes gravel rash to a whole new level. I’ve got chunks of blood and road all over my knees. My hands are no better.

Maddox says nothing as he pulls out his phone.

“Mack!” he barks. “Missin’ something?”

“This isn’t his fault!” I cry, trying to stand. His hand goes to my shoulder and shoves me back down.

“You fuckin’ let her out into the night to get fuckin’ shot at.”

Mack is roaring something on the other end of the phone. I flinch, hating that this ended so badly. I didn’t think about Mack when I found the determination to come and see Maddox. I didn’t think about how it would affect him.

“Fuck you, bro,” Maddox hisses.

Mack says something that has Maddox’s face scrunching in pure rage.

“You fuckin’ watch your fuckin’ . . .”

Obviously Mack hangs up, because Maddox hurls the phone across the room and then spins to me.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you think I’m fuckin’ joking when I fuckin’ say that you’re in fuckin’ danger?”

His voice has me flinching with fear. God, I’ve never seen him so angry.

“You selfish, spoiled little fuckin’ brat!”

Another flinch.

“Austin!” he roars.

The young prospect rushes in. “Yeah?”

“Clean her the fuck up. I can’t look at her.”

Then he turns and charges down into the basement where I know he’s got a boxing bag that he takes his anger out on. I turn to Austin, my mouth opening but quickly closing again. What is there to say? I’m a God damned fool and I deserve this.

~*~*~*~

Austin cleans me up, and then goes and waits outside. I sit on the couch, staring at the basement door. I’ve heard Maddox’s angry thump, thump, thumps as he pounds into his boxing bag. I know I need to go down there, but what do I say? Maybe the truth . . . Yeah, that would be a good plan.

I shove to my feet, groaning in pain at the stiff, achy feeling that radiates through my knees and hands. I hesitantly make my way down to the basement. The noise gets louder and louder as I edge closer. I see the bag flying around before I see Maddox, but when I do lay my eyes on him, I gasp.

God, he’s angry.

His huge body is covered in a fine sheen of sweat. He’s taken his shirt off, and is only wearing his jeans. His fists are bloody and broken, and his face is a twisted mass of rage. He looks so scarily stunning. He notices me before I can open my mouth, his blue eyes cutting through me like razor blades.

“I fucked up.”

Thump, thump, thump.

“I’m sorry, Maddox. I just . . . I wanted to see you.”

Thump, thump, thump.

“I shouldn’t have done it, I deserved everything I got.”

Thump, thump, thump.

“For fuck’s sake!” I scream, losing my shit. He pauses for a minute, but resumes his thumping. I resume my yelling. “You pissed and moaned about me dating Alec, you made it clear you didn’t like it, you put your . . . body all over mine, and we have a big-ass moment, and then you switched off. You just fucking switched off. You don’t get the right to do that, you giant . . . fuckhead.”

He stops hitting and stares at me, his face expressionless.

“You done?”