My Lord Eternity (Immortal Rogues #2)(26)
Author: Alexandra Ivy

"Yes," he murmured.

"I began to long for excitement."

"You desired a challenge."

"Yes."

"And you found it in Lord Patten?"

She recalled the giddy excitement she felt when he walked into the room and the petulant annoyance when he seemed indifferent to her charm. He swiftly consumed her every thought.

Now she could only wonder at her vast stupidity.

"He was very clever. Of all the gentlemen who fought to gain my favor, he alone remained aloof. No matter how I flirted, he refused to be captivated."

"Which only made you more determined to capture his elusive attention," he swiftly concluded.

"Of course." She gave a short, humorless laugh. "It was all a game to him. A game which he had mastered, while I was a bumbling idiot."

Lucien shifted closer, his breath brushing the bare skin of her neck with delicious warmth.

"What happened?"

Her hands unconsciously clenched in tight fists, the nails biting into her palms. It was only in her nightmares that she ever allowed the haunting memories to return.

"I was attending Lady Glendale’s ball. It was absurdly stuffy, and I stepped onto the terrace.

Lord Patten joined me there. As usual, he was quite flippant, and I grew annoyed at his mocking disdain." She was forced to pause and take a steadying breath. "I informed him that I was not quite the innocent fool that he thought me to be."

"I presume that he was eager to discover the truth of your words?" he demanded in scathing tones.

"He dared me to join him in a nearby grotto. I quite willingly agreed."

Without warning Lucien was gently but quite firmly turning her to meet his probing gaze. She was startled to discover the grim expression that had hardened his elegant features.

"He attempted to seduce you?"

Embarrassed heat flooded her cheeks at his blunt question. "Yes."

The golden eyes shimmered with a formidable danger. "Did he harm you?"

Jocelyn gave a slow shake of her head. In truth it would be easier to admit if Lord Patten had forced himself upon her. At least then she could lay the blame upon him. But she could not in all honesty deny that she was quite eager to explore the heat of his kisses.

"No. It was all terribly exciting for a brief time. This was the danger I had desired. Then …

my father came in search of me."

He grimaced. "That was no doubt unpleasant."

A sharp, ruthless pain flared through her as the bitter words of her father echoed through her mind.

"He was furious, of course. He demanded that Lord Patten wed me by special license."

"But the nobleman refused?"

"Yes. He claimed that I had followed him to the grotto and tossed myself upon him."

Disdain rippled over Lucien’s countenance. "A coward as well as a rake."

"And a liar," she added for good measure. "In truth I was relieved I was not to be forced to wed him. I realized at that moment that such a marriage would be a misery."

His hand lifted to cup her cheek. "I am relieved as well. You deserve much better than the likes of Lord Patten. Still, it could not have been easy for you."

"It was horrid," she retorted, her stomach rolling with a queasy regret. "The word of my scandal spread through London by the next morning. My parents…"

"What, Jocelyn?" he demanded as her words trailed to silence. "What did they do?"

She struggled to swallow the sudden lump in her throat. Never before had she confessed to anyone the bitter confrontation she had endured with her parents. She was uncertain that she could even speak the words.

"I… they informed me that the shame I had brought upon them was insufferable," she at last managed to get out in bleak tones. "As far as they were concerned, I was now dead and would be sent to live with a distant cousin. I would be given a quarterly allowance, but I was never to enter their house or attempt to contact them again. Not ever."

Eight

Lucien smothered the instinctive flare of fury that raced through him. Obviously the Kinglys were pathetic, unworthy fools who cared more for their reputation than their own child. They should be publicly disdained along with the wretched Lord Patten.

Still, his concern was for Jocelyn and the bitterness that lingered within her. A bitterness that would eventually destroy her if she did not discover a means to heal her past.

Once again his vengeance must be held.

Allowing his fingers to gently stroke the skin of her pale cheek, he gazed deep into her troubled eyes.

"Oh, my dove," he murmured softly. "It is no wonder that you carry such wounds."

She shuddered at his words, but she grimly attempted to keep her expression calm.

"I have accepted their decision."

Lucien gave a slow shake of his head. He was too closely bound to this woman not to sense the pain just below the surface. He could feel it as if it were his own.

A rather frightening realization.

"No, we all seek the love and approval of those we hold dearest. Even if they are undeserving of our need."

"My parents’ love and approval was based solely upon my ability to wed a gentleman of prominence." She grimaced. "Once I had destroyed that hope, I was worthless to them."

"Then they are fools," he growled, regarding the delicate features with a glittering gaze. How could anyone hurt this sweet, gentle maiden? It was inconceivable. "You have done great deeds without regard to the sacrifice to yourself. They should take pride in what you do."

"Pride?" She gave a short laugh. "Good heavens. They would be horrified if they knew what I do."

"Because their souls are empty. Do not judge yourself by their worthless values."

She frowned at his soft words. "What?"

His fingers slipped beneath her chin, keeping her puzzled gaze locked with his own.

"You blame yourself for being a disappointment to them."

Her eyes darkened, but she did not glance away. He would not allow her to turn from the truth of his words.

"Perhaps," she at last admitted in low tones.

"And you allow yourself to doubt your own worth because of them."

"No—"

"Jocelyn." He firmly interrupted her instinctive refusal to confront her pain. "Do you truly believe you could have been fulfilled following the path they desired for you? There is much more to you than a shallow desire for wealth and position. You would have been imprisoned in such an existence."