My Nerdy Valentine (Nerds, #7)(24)
Author: Vicki Lewis Thompson

"How are you planning to explain me? Am I supposed to be the real boyfriend as far as they’re concerned, or the decoy?"

"You pretty much have to be the decoy." She wondered if she’d imagined the sudden flash of disappointment in his eyes. "Yesterday I told them the whole story, including your part in it."

"You emphasized that I’m not the valentine guy, I hope."

"Absolutely. I think they’ll be happy that I have someone staying in the apartment with me. Mavis thought I needed protection, and the complex doesn’t allow dogs, so she’ll heartily approve of…" She paused as she realized how tacky that sounded. "I’m sorry. That didn’t come out right. I don’t think of you as a substitute for a dog."

"I know."

"I mean, really, I don’t. I’m deeply appreciative that you’ve interrupted your routine to help me out. Considering we’ve only known each other a short time, you’re making quite a sacrifice, and I—"

"It’s not a sacrifice." His green gaze softened.

That kind of look could be her undoing. It could put her in the mood for all sorts of activities that she couldn’t afford to indulge in. Time to change the mood.

"That’s what you think," she said. "You haven’t spent a night on my lumpy couch or been forced to eat one of Mavis’s nuked meals. You’ll have to share a small bathroom and keep weird hours."

The warmth in his eyes didn’t go away as she’d hoped.

"Seriously, Will. The next few days could be pure torture."

He smiled "You could be right about that."

EIGHTEEN

As they approached Amanda’s three-story apartment building, Will looked it over from the standpoint of security and wasn’t cheered. Evergreen bushes shielded the view of many of the first-floor windows. Unless the windows were newer than they seemed from the outside, someone would have no trouble getting in that way.

He put his arm around Amanda’s shoulders, in case the nutcase happened to be watching. "Which windows are yours?" Every time he touched her, he fought the surge of desire that threatened to turn this entire charade into chaos.

She pointed them out. "Right there. Fifth and sixth from the front."

"Think you could get anybody to trim those bushes?" His hip brushed hers as they walked. When she’d said the next few days could be pure torture, she’d nailed it.

"I could ask, but I doubt it. They have a schedule of trimming in the spring and in the fall. We’re between trimming times."

"Would they care if I did it?"

She glanced up at him with a little smile. "You keep hedge clippers in your pocket?"

"Well, no. But I could buy some. I—" Then he noticed something glinting in one of her windows. He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to identify it for sure. Damned if she didn’t have a stained-glass hummingbird dangling from a suction cup.

Because he was hanging on to her, Amanda had to stop, too. "What’s the matter?"

"That’s your hummingbird in the window, right?"

"Uh-huh. That’s the living room window. I found that sun-catcher at an art festival and I… Oh, God." She began to tremble. "I’ll take it down right now."

"Okay."

"But it could be too late, couldn’t it?"

He hated for her to be so frightened. Instinctively he tightened his grip on her shoulder and tried for a reassuring smile. "Maybe not. We don’t even know for sure the valentine guy left the song on your answering machine. Someone could have dialed by mistake and the radio was on. Could be a little kid playing with the phone."

She took a shaky breath. "Right. But let’s get inside and take down that sun-catcher. I didn’t even think about it, but if he has any idea I’m in this apartment building, then he could make the connection of the sun-catcher and the hummingbird on my desk. What an idiot I am."

"Lots of people like hummingbirds." He wanted to hold her and rock her and tell her everything would be fine. But first he’d have to convince himself of that, and he wasn’t particularly convinced.

Amanda found her key and unlocked the entrance to the building. "Prepare yourself for a valentine blitz."

Will surveyed the hallway with amazement. "Wow. This takes me back to my days at Taft Elementary."

"Which is no coincidence. My neighbor Mavis Endicott used to teach third grade. She lives for holiday decorations."

"She did all this?" Will had a mental image of his third-grade teacher, Mrs. Nadworthy, running up and down this hall slapping hearts and doilies on everyone’s door. He could picture it.

"She cons everyone into decorating. Or shames them, depending. Her methods work for everyone except Chester and me. I don’t have time, so I let Mavis do my door, but Chester objects on principle. He … I’ll be damned."

"What?"

"There’s a big red heart in the middle of Chester’s door. I wonder if he knows?"

Will felt as if he’d fallen down Alice in Wonderland’s rabbit hole. "She would tape a heart to his door without his permission?"

"I didn’t think so, but it looks as if she did. The war must be escalating." Sticking her key in the door, Amanda turned it. Then she wiggled it. Still nothing happened. "Darn thing sticks."

"Let me."

"Be my guest." She handed over her set of keys.

Will worked with the key and finally felt it turn in the lock. "You need some graphite. I can pick some up tomorrow."

A portly woman with bottle-red hair opened the apartment door on his right. "That sounds promising." She walked toward them carrying several brownish lumps on a flowered plate. "Do we have a handyman among us?"

This had to be the woman who’d snagged the red vibrator. Will prayed for self-control, but he could already feel himself wanting to laugh.

Amanda turned, completely deadpan. "Hi, Mavis. This is Will Sloan, the man who—"

"The man who did not send the secret valentines!" Mavis shifted the plate to her left hand and reached out with her right. "I’m so pleased to meet you. I’ve heard wonderful things."

"Is that so?" Will’s eyes widened as he glanced at Amanda.

"I told her you were nice. Which you are. This is Mavis Endicott, my neighbor." Amanda was one cool customer. Only a glimmer in her blue eyes gave any indication that she was thinking about that red vibrator.

Will, meanwhile, had to clear his throat before he responded. "Glad to meet you, too, Mavis. Amanda has … excuse me." He cleared his throat again. "Mentioned you."

The apartment door on Will’s left swung open and a short bald man came out. "Has she mentioned that Mavis is crazy as a bedbug?"

"Will," Amanda said, "this is Chester Ambrose. Chester, this is Will Sloan, the man who—"

"Who didn’t send the valentines!" Chester stepped into the hall and stuck out his hand. "Glad to meet you!"

"Same here." Will had never in his life been so glorified for not doing something.

Chester finished shaking hands and swung his arm to encompass the hall full of red, white, and pink decorations. "Will, would you look at this frippery? I’m the only sane one left on the floor. My door is bare, the way nature intended it." Reaching back, he closed his door with a flourish. "See?"

There was a moment of complete silence as the eye of the storm passed over. Then Chester exploded. "What the hell is this?" He ripped the heart off his door, marched over to Mavis and waved it in her face. "You know what this is?"

Mavis stood her ground. "I most certainly do. Do you?"

"It’s trespassing! You trespassed on my door!"

"Fiddlesticks." Mavis stuck out both chins. "That door belongs to the apartment complex, not to you. And the manager thinks my decorations are festive. I had to do something about your door. It didn’t fit in."

Chester’s whole body quivered with rage. "I don’t want to fit in."

"Oh, cool your jets, you old windbag." With a wave of her hand. Mavis strolled into Amanda’s apartment as if she owned it. "I brought over a treat, but with the way you’re behaving, I don’t think I’ll offer you any."

Chester stood there blinking. "Didn’t want any in the first place," he muttered. "Probably tastes like rabbit droppings." Then he followed Mavis into Amanda’s apartment.

Will turned to her. "Is it always like this?"

"Pretty much. My apartment is the DMZ." She smiled at him. "Come on in and have some rabbit droppings. Then we can tell them why you’re here."

"Don’t forget about the hummingbird."

Her smile vanished. "I haven’t forgotten. But I’m going to do that quietly. I don’t want to scare Mavis and Chester."

Will nodded. If he’d had no other reason to become entranced by this woman, and he had several, her compassion for these two eccentric neighbors would be enough. She might not want him, but at the moment there was no one else he wanted more.

While Mavis was setting out plates, napkins, and whatever soft drinks she could find in Amanda’s refrigerator to go with her microwave cheese balls, Amanda edged over to the living room window. She made sure Mavis and Chester weren’t looking before pulling the suction cup from the window, along with the stained-glass hummingbird. She felt like an idiot for not realizing that this could lead someone to her, but until last night she hadn’t thought the valentine guy knew where she lived.

She should cut herself some slack, because stress and lack of sleep were affecting her brain, but she’d always been proud of her ability to think through her problems. She hoped her love of the miraculous little hummingbirds wouldn’t turn out to be her undoing.

Tucking the sun-catcher and suction cup between a couple of books in her bookcase, she glanced at the answering machine on her desk in the living room. One message. She tried to tell her rolling tummy that the message was a recorded sales call for satellite TV or a political message of some kind. Her tummy didn’t believe that.

But she wasn’t about to play the message, whatever it was, while Mavis and Chester were still here. As she walked back to the dining nook where Chester and Will had already taken a seat, Will glanced up. He must have seen something in her expression, because he frowned.

"So I tried commodities a while back," Chester said. "Lost money. Then I bought Enron stock. You know how that went. Finally I decided to buy stock in this feminine products company that’s based right here in Chicago. Purely Hers. I figure women always need that stuff. That stock’s doing okay."

"Playing the market’s always a gamble." Will loosened his tie. "I could steer you toward a couple of mutual funds I like, if you want something that’s a little less volatile."

Amanda paused, struck by how manly Will looked sitting there with his suit coat off, his sleeves rolled back and his tie at half mast. She envisioned coming home to a guy like Will every night, and the thought heated her up more than a little. She was capable of postponing that kind of reward, though.

"But you can’t make as much money in those mutual funds." Chester had leaned the red cardboard heart against the rungs of his chair. Although he’d ripped the heart from the door with seeming force, he must have used a certain amount of finesse, because the heart remained intact.

Amanda had the urge to kiss his bald head. His bluster hid a very soft center.

"Over the long haul you might make even more, but the choice is yours," Will said. "Ultimately, you’re the investor."

"Chester the Investor. It rhymes!" Mavis came in with a liter bottle of ginger ale and added it to the half-full liter of cola already on the table.

"Isn’t that hysterical," Chester said. "Next thing I know you’ll make up a song about it."

"I might, at that. Or a picture book. I’ve always wanted to write one."

"And you could dedicate it to Chester." Amanda was grateful for this wacky pair. They were taking her mind off valentines and songs on answering machines.

"I don’t want a dumb dedication," Chester said. "I want a cut."

"Why am I not surprised?" Mavis gestured toward the two bottles. "This is all I could find. There’s wine, but I didn’t think Amanda would want that before she goes to work."

Chester glanced at her. "Good thinking for a change. Are you two women going to sit down or what?"

"Sure." Before Amanda reached the chair, Will leaped up and pulled it out for her. As he helped her scoot in, she breathed in Old Spice. Lust could be another distraction from terror. So could her battle with lust. She’d take ail the distractions she could get.

Mavis sighed. "Isn’t that adorable?"

"I suppose you’d like similar treatment?" Chester scowled at Mavis.

"I wouldn’t dream of expecting it."

"Oh, for crying out loud." With a groan, Chester left his chair and yanked out the vacant chair for Mavis.

She sat down and gave him a prim smile. "Thank you, sir. That was most kind."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don’t get used to it." Chester flopped into his chair. "What do you think the market’s gonna do, Will? If you have any hot tips, I’m listening."

Mavis glared at him. "Don’t you know that’s rude? It’s like asking a doctor during a cocktail party whether he’ll take a look at the mole on your backside to see if it’s skin cancer."

"In the first place, this isn’t a cocktail party." Chester glared right back. "In the second place, I don’t take off my pants for just anybody. I have to have a real special reason. Just so you know."

"I’m sure our guest is delighted to hear such intimate details about you, Chester." Mavis smiled at Will. "I didn’t think I’d ever get to meet you, because Amanda seems so determined not to date anyone, but here you are."

"I need to explain that." Amanda picked up a cheese ball. It felt like a lump of Silly Putty. "Will has agreed to pose as my boyfriend, in hopes that will discourage the guy sending me valentines." She bravely popped the cheese ball into her mouth, but when she tried to crunch down on it, the cheese ball didn’t give.