Nerd Gone Wild (Nerds, #3)(19)
Author: Vicki Lewis Thompson

The road was seriously blocked. When he glanced toward the end of town, where no buildings stopped the wind, the drifts were even higher. The country road that linked Porcupine with the main highway was obviously impassable. He’d love for it to stay that way a while. The more familiar he became with the town, the more easily he could protect Ally if the need should arise.

“It sure is quiet without any cars or trucks going by,” Ally said. “I like it.”

“I do, too,” Betsy said. “Once Ernie sobers up, he’ll probably be out here on his dogsled. ‘Course, he’s been known to be out here on his dogsled when he wasn’t sober, too.”

“Assuming he’s sober, I’d love to hitch a ride,” Ally said. “I’ve always wanted to try that.”

“It’s fun,” Betsy said. “My third husband had a team of dogs, even raced the Iditarod. But he kenneled those animals out behind the Loose Moose, which wouldn’t have been so bad except that he wouldn’t clean up the dog poop. In the winter it froze, so you couldn’t smell it, but in the summer, Stink City. He was good in bed, but not that good.”

Mitch kept quiet. He had no interest in riding on a dogsled, because a dogsled required snow, and he was no more in love with it now than he had been as a kid in Chicago. Sure, the mountains were pretty, and there was a certain peaceful feeling that came after a new-fallen snow, but the temperature was still below freezing, and that was about fifty degrees too cold for Mitch.

The snow’s only saving grace was its apparent ability to delay Kurt.

Then the sound of a tractor motor ripped through the silence.

“I guess Dave must have convinced Ernie to let him use his plow,” Ally said, as a rusty orange tractor appeared on the far end of town and started scooping drifts out of the way. “That’s great.”

“Yeah, just great,” Mitch said. As of this moment, the snow had zero value.

* * *

Nothing like a new vehicle to make a man feel great. Kurt breathed in the new-car smell that permeated the cab of the truck. He’d picked one with all the bells and whistles, too—onboard GPS, top-of-the-line CD player, power windows and steering, leather upholstery. Vivian was partial to leather, so he’d chosen that specifically to please her.

Kurt was proud of the RV option he’d chosen, too. He loved how a fifth-wheel trailer hitch bolted right into the bed of his new truck. He’d never trusted those flimsy hitches attached to the back bumper. With those, the slightest wind could blow the trailer around, but the fifth wheel felt good and solid gliding along behind them.

“How do you like the new track, Viv?” He glanced over to see how she was enjoying the ride.

“I think I forgot my vibrator.”

“Oh.” He hoped to hell she wouldn’t make him go back. They were almost to the turnoff for Porcupine. If they had to reverse direction and go home again, they wouldn’t make it back here until after dark.

“Pull over and go look in my suitcase.”

He eyed the shoulder of the road, which was filled with snow and slush. “This isn’t the best place to pull off, Viv. Let’s wait until we get there.”

“Pull off right now, Kurt! If we wait until we get there, and I don’t have it, then what am I going to do? I’ll be stuck in some stupid lodge by myself, and I seriously doubt that this podunk town we’re heading for has an adult toy store.”

Most of the time Kurt was glad that Vivian was so highly sexed. But not right now, when it was screwing with his plans. His instincts had been right, buying this fifth wheel so he wouldn’t be staying at the hotel with Vivian. She would have tried to sneak into his room, for sure. “Couldn’t you make do without your vibrator, just this once?”

She unbuckled her seat belt, reached over and grabbed him by the balls. “Pull over.”

He swerved the truck to the shoulder and the fifth wheel fishtailed. Brakes screeched and horns blared, but Kurt was too worried about the grip Vivian had on his jewels to care if anybody clipped the fifth wheel, or vice versa. When they were pretty much off the road, he slammed on the brakes.

“That’s better.” With one sharp squeeze that made him yelp, she turned him loose. “Now get back there and look for it. And if it’s in the suitcase, bring it to me. If it’s not, we’re turning around.”

Praying he’d find the vibrator, Kurt opened his door. He didn’t have much room to climb out without danger of getting hit by oncoming traffic, so he took it slow.

“Come on, come on. You’re letting cold air in here!”

Gauging the space between oncoming vehicles, he leaped out and slammed the door. He landed in about six inches of gray slush. Cold water soaked his pants leg and worked its way inside his shoes. He hated to drive in boots and hadn’t expected to get out until he was on dry ground again.

But that wasn’t the worst part. As he was standing there, a semi blew past and coated him from head to toe in muck. He wiped his face and brushed off what he could as he worked his way around to the back of the fifth wheel. He’d mess up the brand-new carpet by tromping inside like this, but it couldn’t be helped.

Once he made it inside, he headed straight for Vivian’s black leather suitcase, not wanting to stain the carpet any more than necessary. He loved the inside of this fifth wheel, which had been, until now, blemish-free. With the money he planned to weasel out of Ally, he could buy new things all the time. Buying new things gave him almost as much of a charge as sex with Vivian.

He zipped open the suitcase and searched for the vibrator. He found her ben wa balls and her nipple clips tucked in with her crotchless panties. Just handling that stuff got him hot, but he had to forget about sex and find the vibrator. Not here, dammit.

Then he remembered a zippered pouch on the outside of the suitcase. Ah, thank God. He pulled out the vibrator, a specialty job with one part that went inside and a second part that buzzed against her clit. The whole business was a startling neon green.

Now all he had to worry about was battery life. He switched it on and everything worked. The hum of it plus the tremors moving through his hand brought back fond memories, but he had places to go and people to see. He turned it off again.

Clutching the vibrator, he stepped back down to the slushy shoulder of the road just as a cop pulled in behind him. He quickly stuck his hand behind his back. It wasn’t like this toy was illegal, but he’d rather not be confronting an officer of the law while holding a neon-green, two-part vibrator.

The officer stepped out, and damned if it wasn’t a woman. He would much rather deal with a guy if he had to be caught with a vibrator. Cops always made him sweat, though. Although he’d never done jail time, he’d come too close for comfort.

Today, though, he couldn’t think why they’d hassle him. The truck and fifth wheel were his, or at least as long as he kept up the payments. He had no outstanding tickets that he could remember. And he definitely hadn’t been speeding, considering the weather and the fifth wheel he was pulling.

The officer approached warily. Although she was bundled up, there was no doubt she was a woman—a short, stocky, jock type of woman. She rested her right hand on the butt of the gun at her hip. “Sir, I need you to bring both hands out where I can see them,” she said.

Reluctantly, he produced the vibrator.

The officer’s eyes widened. “What the hell is that, some kind of newfangled club for the steering wheel?”

“It’s… a… a… personal product, Officer.”

After studying it for a few seconds, she nodded. “Okay, I get it. Never seen one shaped quite like that, and definitely not in lime green.”

“It was a special order.”

“Uh-huh.” She glanced up toward the truck. “You have a passenger in there?”

“Yes, yes, I do.”

She cleared her throat. “I recommend that you and your passenger not make use of that device while the vehicle is moving. Cell phones are enough of a distraction these days, without adding in…” She gestured toward the vibrator. “That.”

“Right. I was only… she wanted to make sure we hadn’t left it at home.”

“I see.” She pressed her lips together real tight, as if she might start laughing if she didn’t.

A trucker went by and leaned on the horn. Kurt figured the trucker had recognized the item in his hand and was getting a kick out of letting him know that. Then another car beeped, and Kurt realized that plenty of other people would recognize what he was holding, even if the officer hadn’t known right away what it was.

He was really tired of standing there on the open road gripping this neon-green vibrator, to be honest. “Was there a problem, Officer?” he asked, hoping to get the whole episode over with.

“I stopped because of the way you’re parked, sort of jackknifed onto the shoulder. It appeared as if you’d pulled off the road in a hurry. I thought you might be in trouble.”

“Nope, no trouble.”

Her lips twitched. “Just an urgent need to make sure you were packing your personal product?”

“Exactly.”

“Let me give you some free advice. In the future, it’ll be a whole lot better if you don’t put your hand behind your back when approached by a police officer. We tend to get nervous when you do that.”

He couldn’t imagine a repeat of this situation in a million years, but he nodded, as if taking her comment to heart. “I understand. Am I free to go now?”

“Just be careful pulling back into traffic, and make sure that fifth wheel doesn’t end up in the ditch. We have vehicles stuck all up and down this road today. I’d hate for you to be one of them.”

“Thank you, Officer.” Tucking the vibrator under his arm, he made his way back to the cab and tried to get as much slush off as possible before climbing into the blissfully warm interior. He handed the vibrator to Vivian.

“Finally!” She took the vibrator and switched it on. “I thought you’d be standing out there forever! What did that cop want, anyway?”

“She thought we might have some trouble because it looked like we’d pulled off the road abruptly.”

Vivian smiled and ran the vibrator along his thigh. “Did you tell her I had you by the short hairs?”

“What do you think?” He watched the vibrator and found himself responding, whether he wanted to or not.

“I think you didn’t say that. I’ll bet you had no idea what to say when you were caught out in broad daylight with a bright green vibrator in your hand.”

“Look, I have to pull into traffic, and she’s going to be back there watching. You’d better turn that off.”

“Why? Does she have X-ray vision?”

“She said we shouldn’t operate it while the vehicle is moving.”

“Oh, really?”

“Vivian, stop looking like that. She wasn’t giving an order, just making a suggestion.”

“Just drive, Kurt, baby.”

“Are you going to tarn it off?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” She jabbed him in the crotch with the vibrator, which made him jump. “Get us out of here.”

Checking quickly for traffic, he gunned the motor and the truck lurched forward onto the pavement. The fifth wheel jerked sideways, but then it followed, thank God.

The hum of the vibrator continued, but at least Vivian wasn’t running it along his thigh anymore. He glanced in the side mirror and, sure enough, the cop was tailing them. He’d have to drive like a damned saint until the cop got bored and peeled off.

And driving like a saint wouldn’t be easy. Vivian had unzipped her khaki cargo pants. He should never have told her the officer had advised against using the vibrator when the vehicle was moving. Being Vivian, she intended to do exactly that.

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

Ally wondered if there was any way during this store visit that she could skip out to take some pictures. Alone. Maybe Mitchell would get absorbed in looking at the chain-saw nudes. She’d never met a man yet who wasn’t intrigued by nude sculptures, no matter whether the boobs matched or not. Then again, she was dying to know if he’d try to buy condoms, and if he could accomplish it without causing a stir.

But if she wanted to escape to go tramping around on the outskirts of town looking for critters, she’d have to give up the potential of watching him fumble his way through the condom situation. And she did want to go tramping around. That’s what she’d come to Alaska for. She needed to remember that no matter how Mitchell tempted her, she hadn’t come to Alaska for sex.

Betsy led the way into Heavenly Provisions. “Hey, Serena,” Betsy called out, as if she were dropping in on a neighbor. “I’ve brought you some customers.”

“Be right there!” A woman’s voice drifted from a back room. “I have to finish setting the candle wicks!”

Ally unzipped her coat and pushed back her hood as she glanced around with interest. Grammy would have turned up her nose at the musty old place, but Ally liked it. If she weren’t so eager to get outside and take pictures, she could prowl around in here for hours.

Everything was so different from what she’d known in Bel Air. She’d never been in a place where the walls were decorated with animal skins. Even the hunting and fishing gear fascinated her. She wasn’t into that, but the colorful paraphernalia would make a cool photo collage.

Three sets of free-standing shelves in the middle of the store held the bulk of the grocery-store part, although Ally noticed boots and hats interspersed with crackers and canned veggies. Heavy knit sweaters hung on a rack in one corner. A glass case under the front counter was filled with Native Indian jewelry, much of it with a Porcupine theme, plus several colorful pillar candles, which probably explained Serena’s comment.