Nerds Like It Hot (Nerds, #6)(31)
Author: Vicki Lewis Thompson

Gillian’s hopes rose. "You know who’s after me?"

"Nope, sure don’t. But I do know it’s the end of the late, great celibacy plan BJ and I had cooked up. As of this minute, she’s switching roommates."

Cora covered her mouth, as if trying to hold back a smile.

"Okay, Cora," Dante said. "I know you didn’t think I’d last, but I would have, if I didn’t have to save BJ from sleeping in the same room with a cross-dresser in silk pajamas."

"It’s not you I was thinking about, Dante, sweetheart. It was Jared Stevenson the Third. He’s been panting after Nancy ever since this cruise began. I wonder if he has any idea what he’s latched onto?"

"YOU’RE A MAN?" JARED, STARK NAKED AND AROUSED, stood in the middle of his suite and stared at Neil, who had come out of the suite’s bathroom wearing nothing but a smile.

"Exciting, isn’t it?"

"No!" Jared jumped up and down and flapped his arms like a penguin trying to fly. His penis, which had started to deflate, bobbed up and down with each jump. "No, no, no!"

Neil paused. His eyes narrowed as he took in the deflated condition of Jared’s joystick. Could he have misjudged? "I thought you were a player, Jared," he said.

"I am a player! I play with girls." He grabbed a pillow from the sofa and held it like a fig leaf. "Get away from me." He backed up. "Get away, get away, get away."

"Aw, don’t be shy." Neil kept coming, unable to believe he wouldn’t win the day. "We could have so much fun. Remember the spanking? Remember the banana? Wouldn’t you like—"

"I don’t want your banana!" Jared screeched, gawking at Neil’s penis. "Keep your banana to yourself!"

"What about the bl*w j*b? Wouldn’t you like another one?"

"I thought your mouth was a girl’s mouth!"

"You won’t find a girl who knows as much as I do, Jared. Now put down the pillow and let’s have some fun, shall we?"

"No!" Jared stamped his bare foot. "Get out of here!"

This wasn’t working out at all the way Neil had envisioned. He had some major frustrations to work off, and Jared was supposed to help him do that. Neil was usually excellent at picking his marks. This whole business with Gillian was throwing him off his game.

He wasn’t even sure he had enough material to blackmail Jared. He’d been lazy and hadn’t brought his cell phone for the first couple of episodes, but he’d remembered this time and had planned to take compromising pictures of the nerdy cruise director. Without pictures it was his word against Jared’s, and Jared could rightly claim that he’d thought he was dealing with a woman.

Damn it, Mercury must be in retrograde. Nothing was going right. Gillian was still very much alive and Jared wasn’t queer, after all. Some days it didn’t pay to get out of bed.

"I’m very disappointed in you, Jared," he said.

"You’re disappointed? How do you think I feel? I was falling in love with you."

"And you’re going to let a little thing like this come between us?"

Jared’s glance swept downward and quickly came up again. "Excuse me, but that’s a rather big thing."

"Thank you." At this point, Neil would take his ego strokes any way he could get them. "Sure you wouldn’t like to see how it operates?"

"No! Put it away. Immediately. And then leave. It’s over, Nancy." He blinked. "That’s a funny name for a man."

"It’s not my name, you fool." Neil turned and stalked back to the bathroom. At the door, he turned. "I assume you’ll keep this information to yourself."

"You think I’d tell? You think I want everyone to laugh at me?"

"Oh, they already laugh at you, but you’d still be wise to keep my little secret." That would truly bite, to be exposed halfway through the trip. But he was reasonably convinced that Jared wouldn’t risk his reputation to do that. Neil went into the bathroom and closed the door.

He’d left the tape stuck to the bathroom counter, knowing he’d have to retape before he could navigate his way back to his stateroom after his encounter with Jared. But he’d expected to tape up a happy little dick before making that trip.

Well, that wasn’t the case, now, was it? Because Jared was such a dork, Neil was more frustrated than ever. Once he made it back to his room, he intended to plan out exactly how he was going to kill Gillian. Then after they docked in Mexico he’d catch a plane back to L.A. This cruise just wasn’t fun anymore.

AS CORA AND THE REST OF THE GROUP DEBATED whether Jared had the slightest idea the person he lusted after was a man, Gillian zoned out on the conversation. She had some thinking to do, and before long she’d come to a couple of conclusions of her own. First of all, she would make the ship-to-shore call.

But she decided not to announce that to the whole group gathered in Dante and Cora’s room. Lex had said earlier that if she really wanted to do it, he’d go with her. She intended to take him up on it.

Her second conclusion involved her behavior for the few hours she had left on this cruise. She didn’t intend to cower in her room like a scared rabbit. True, Lex would probably stay there with her, and that would have its compensations, but she’d been thinking about her role in all this, and so far she hadn’t exactly covered herself with glory.

By taking part in the rest of the cruise activities, she’d show whoever was out to get her that she wasn’t afraid.

Of course she was extremely afraid, but she was sick of projecting that image. No matter what happened, her stalker wouldn’t have the satisfaction of knowing she was petrified, even if she was. Maybe she had a little of Duke McCormick in her, after all.

She needed to get Lex alone, though, so that she could tell him it was time for her to make that call. Doing that might not be so easy. Their little group of four had grown to six, and nobody seemed ready to leave and get on with the cruise activities.

Because they were all so concerned about her, Gillian didn’t feel right asking them to leave and go about their business. But that’s essentially what she wanted from them. She was saved by the public address system.

"Sorry this announcement is late." Jared’s voice filled the stateroom. "As some of you know, we had an unfortunate incident during the limbo contest, but the captain and crew inform me that all is under control."

"Yeah, but what about your girlfriend?" Dante said. "Is she under control, or what?"

"Poor Jared," Gillian said. "First one of his passengers almost gets killed, and now we know his girlfriend’s a guy"

"Don’t feel too sorry for him," Cora said. "Someday he’ll be worth millions."

"At this time," said the future multimillionaire, "lunch is being served in the dining room, with open seating. Snacks and beverages are available, as always, on A Deck. Don’t forget Underwater Charades at two! Meet at the pool for fun and prizes!"

Everyone in the room sat in silence after the announcement. Finally Little Ben spoke. "It seems inappropriate to go on with the regular activities, under the circumstances."

"I’m glad you brought that up," Gillian said. "Because I’ve been thinking about that very thing. I’m not going to give whoever’s after me the satisfaction of controlling my behavior. I think we should go to lunch."

"I could eat," Dante said.

"Now I’m worried about meeting Nancy," BJ said. "What am I going to say when I run into her?"

"I’ll do my best not to run into her," Dante said. "Now."

BJ gave him a withering look. "It sounds as if you were running into her on purpose before."

"I used to run into women on purpose all the time," Dante said. "They’re cushy and they feel good. But I’ve reformed. No more running into women, and especially no running into women who aren’t really women. That’s creepy." Then he brightened. "So when are you moving your stuff to my room?"

"Right after lunch."

"Then let’s hit the dining room," Gillian said. She wasn’t the least bit hungry, but she assumed everyone else was. "This is a cruise, which is supposed to be all about the eating."

"And the sex," Cora said. When everyone stared at her, she laughed. "Just wanted to see if you were all paying attention. Okay, we’re doing lunch. What next?"

Gillian couldn’t believe that she was making a suggestion that involved her wearing a bathing suit, but after almost dying, appearing in spandex didn’t seem nearly as frightening. "I can’t make the decision for the rest of you, but I’m changing into my suit and heading to the pool for Underwater Charades. Who wants to join me?"

BJ looked doubtful. "Are you sure that’s a good idea? If I were you, I’d mostly hang out in the room until the ship docks in Vista Verde."

"That’s tempting." Gillian didn’t dare glance at Lex and risk giving that comment a sexual meaning. "But I think I’ll scare myself worse by hiding away, hoping the bad guys don’t show up. I’d rather go out there and act as if nothing’s wrong. It might confuse the hell out of them."

"I admire your spirit," Cora said. "And ordinarily I’d be all for that attitude, as you know. But I just watched a heavy metal drum crash down where you almost were. I’m losing my nerve."

Gillian stood and walked over to Cora. Leaning down, she gave her a hug. "Maybe I found it. Come on, everybody. Let’s go eat!"

LEX KNEW IT WAS HOPELESS TO TRY AND TALK GILLIAN out of her plan. He’d seen that determined gleam in her eyes before, and it had taken major sexual moves to change her mind. Surrounded by all these people, he didn’t have that option. Ironically, he’d wanted her to get more confident, but now that newfound confidence might put her in harm’s way.

As they all headed for the dining room, he leaned down to murmur in her ear. "Are you going to let me be your taste-tester?"

She glanced up at him with a smile. "No one will have a chance to poison my food if they have no idea what my plan is. It’s only if I stay in one place for too long that they’ll be able to mount an offensive. We let everyone know we’d be part of the limbo contest. From now on, I’ll try not to telegraph my moves."

"I’ve been thinking about that. Someone would have had to preplan that, knowing that you were going to be in the limbo contest. I’m trying to think who would have heard it."

"Anyone could have, Lex. We were in an open area, and we weren’t guarding what we said. At that point you thought the mob might be willing to let me go."

"And I feel rotten about coming up with that idea."

"Don’t you dare blame yourself." She linked her arm through his. "With what had happened so far, it was a perfectly logical thing to consider."

"Maybe I need to stop using logic and start using my gut instincts." Her touch was so warm. If only she hadn’t suggested they all go to lunch together, they could be alone right now, satisfying a different kind of hunger.

"That’s why I’m planning to do the Underwater Charades. I think the best plan is for me to do the unexpected. Whoever it is would never think that I’d go on with the cruise activities after what happened."

"I don’t want you to go on with the cruise activities, but I suppose you already know that." He felt the space between their bodies growing warmer by the second. He wanted to hold her, protect her, and make love to her all at the same time. Instead they were going to lunch with a crowd of people.

"I do." She hugged his arm against her side, as if to make up for what she was about to say. "And there’s another thing you’re sure not to approve of. Between lunch and the charades, I want to make my ship-to-shore call."

"Oh, God. I should have known that was coming."

"I might as well do it. I couldn’t be in any more danger than I am now."

"That’s a matter of opinion. Making that call is like waving a red flag in front of a bull."

"You said this morning you’d go with me if I insisted. I insist."

"All right." He would go with her, watch over her, and make sure the call went through. And then, before they went back to the room to change into bathing suits, he’d ask for a side trip of his own.

Tomorrow was an unknown, a crazy quilt of possibilities that were impossible to predict. But tonight in their room, they should be able to spend hours in each other’s arms. He wanted to make certain they had a good supply of condoms.

Twenty-four

THE PHONE CALL TO THE LAPD WAS ALMOST Anticlimactic. Gillian wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but the detective who took the information hadn’t seemed particularly excited by what she was telling him. Maybe they were trained not to get excited.

He’d asked her where he could reach her for further information. Although she’d assured him that she had no further information, she’d given him her address and phone number in Burbank. No one would ever be able to reach her there again, but the detective didn’t know that.

Finally she hung up, adjusted her glasses, and turned to Lex. "Guess what? I don’t think he believed a word I said. He thinks I’m some crank caller, maybe high on something or with an ax to grind."

"It’s L.A. They must get a lot of that."

"Somehow it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be believed."

"Well, you did your civic duty. Let’s get the hell out of this room."

She stood and walked out beside him. Now that the deed was done, she felt a letdown. She’d thought that she’d feel exhilarated and powerful, but instead she wondered if taking the high road like this had been stupid.

He slipped an arm around her waist. "Are you okay?"

"I wish they’d believed me." Tension hummed through her. Lex could help her release that tension, but she’d committed to the Underwater Charades and she intended to follow through. Besides, she was curious to see whether Nancy showed up. She hadn’t made an appearance at lunch.

"Whether they believe you or not, they’ll have to check it out."

"Yes, but logically, what can they check out? The Mob will have gone over Theo’s dressing room and wiped out any prints. The body is probably currently disintegrating in a vat of acid or something equally obnoxious."