Never Too Hot (Hot Shots: Men of Fire #3)(36)
Author: Bella Andre

“I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch since last week. It’s been so busy with fund-raising for the upcoming opera season, as you know.”

Her mother cleared her throat and Ginger had the strangest sense that she was uncomfortable.

Alexandra Sinclair was never uncomfortable and it sent a flicker of unease down Ginger’s spine.

“In any case, dear, I needed to call and tell you the news. Before you hear it from anyone else.”

Ginger could hear her father saying something in the background.

“No, I can’t just hang up without telling her now,” her mother hissed at him, before saying to Ginger, “Honey, when I was at lunch today I heard that Jeremy and his new girlfriend…”

It wasn’t hard for Ginger to fill in the blanks. “They’re getting married.”

Honestly, she was glad if her ex could find happiness with someone else. Everyone deserved a chance at love.

Including her. And Connor, too.

“Yes, they’re getting married.” Her mother made a small sound of distress. “Because they’re having a baby.”

Connor walked into the kitchen as she said, “Oh. I see. A baby.” She could feel her limbs shaking, her eyes starting to water. “But he never wanted-”

“Oh honey, you’re better off without him. You always were.”

“Mmm,” was all Ginger could manage around the lump in her throat.

Fortunately, her mother wasn’t a big fan of emotional scenes. “If I were you I wouldn’t give it another thought.”

“No. I won’t,” Ginger lied. “I’ll talk to you soon, Mom.”

“Ginger,” Connor asked, his eyes dark with concern as he came to kneel in front of her. “What’s wrong?”

“My mother called. My ex-husband is having a-”

The final word got lost on her tongue, refused to come, but he’d obviously heard enough of the conversation to guess.

“A baby?”

She nodded, hating the tear that rolled down her cheek.

“You want a baby,” he said again and overpowering longing hit her before she could brace herself.

“More than anything.”

“Did he shoot blanks? Was that the problem? Is that why you don’t have any already?”

Laughter was the last thing she’d expected, but his question was so perfectly timed — so perfectly Connor — that she couldn’t help but choke one out.

“No,” she said, a split second before her smile fell away. “That wasn’t the problem.”

“Then what was?”

“Our marriage sucked for one.”

“Plenty of people have kids when their marriages suck. Take my parents. It was the only thing they did well together.”

“Jeremy didn’t want a baby.” No, that wasn’t true anymore. “Not with me, anyway.”

“I know I’ve said this before, but he sounds like a stupid f**k. Why the hell did you marry him?”

She matched the anger of his words with hers. “Because I thought he was the best I could do. Because I couldn’t believe he actually wanted me. That he’d chosen me instead of one of the perfect sorority girls throwing themselves at him. It’s why I didn’t leave for so long. Because I thought I’d never do any better.”

“And you actually wanted to have a kid with this guy? Jesus, Ginger, don’t you have any sense at all? What the hell do you see when you look in the mirror? Who do you think you are?”

The answer was easy. A girl who had never been good enough for anyone, no matter how hard she tried.

“You’re coming with me.”

Grabbing her hand, he pulled her out of the kitchen, up the stairs, into her bedroom, not stopping until they were standing in front of the full-length mirror, her back to his front.

“I’ve never admitted this to anyone before,” he said in a soft voice, “but do you know how hard it was for me to look at my burns for the first time?”

She swallowed hard, instinctively covering his hands and arms with her own, gently stroking the raised scars.

“When they unwrapped the bandages that first time and I saw the wreckage of what had once been perfectly good hands, perfectly good skin, I wanted to cry like a baby. But I couldn’t. Not with everyone watching. Not when everyone expected me to be the tough firefighter.”

She’d never thought about how hard it was on men like Connor to get injured and feel like they couldn’t break down, not even once.

Staring at the two of them together in the mirror, Ginger felt that her concerns about her weight were incredibly petty. How could she have spent so much time worrying about her size when her body was, essentially, perfect. Sure, maybe she didn’t fit into the current cultural norms of perfection, but she could run and jump and swim and paint. What on earth did she have to complain about?

Connor stroked her hair back from her face. “If you’re thinking I just told you all of that to invalidate your feelings, think again.”

“But it’s true. My issues are nothing compared to what you’ve been through.”

He squeezed her more tightly around the waist, pulling her closer against his rock hard chest and thighs.

“Here’s how I see it. I’ve had a couple of rough years with my body, but before that everyone told me how great I looked, how strong I was, how well-built. Crazy as it seems to me, I get the feeling no one has ever said those things to you before now.” Holding her eyes in the mirror, he asked, “What do you see?”

Ginger’s chest was clenched and tight. “Just me.”

“Really? Is that all you can see, sweetheart? There isn’t anything else?”

To have such a big, strong man be so gentle with her… she could feel herself melting in his arms.

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I don’t know what I see.”

His hands and arms still wrapped tightly around her, he whispered, “Then how about I tell you what I see? You’re strong.” Her breath came faster as he pressed a kiss just above her left ear. “You’re beautiful.” He spun her around to face him and cupped her face in his large hands. She blinked up at him and got lost in his blue eyes.

“And every time I look at you, you completely take my breath away.”

He slowly undressed her and she drank in every touch, every caress, every path of his fingers across her skin.

He ran his lips, his tongue, his fingertips over every inch of her skin reverently as her clothes seemed to disappear and she trembled everywhere he’d touched.

When she was finally naked, he said, “Turn around, sweetheart.”

She couldn’t do it. Not with years of self-hatred coming at her. She was stunned. She’d thought she’d beaten down the beast within, had been so confident of her triumph.