Night’s Mistress (Children of The Night #5)(22)
Author: Amanda Ashley

She didn’t want to die—not in twenty years, not in a hundred.

Blinking back tears, she paid the driver, then carried the groceries into the house. Why was this happening to her? And why now? Damn Kyle Bowden and his puppy dog eyes and his sexy smile. It was probably all his fault, she thought, putting the last of the groceries away. She had been fine until she met him.

“Hey, what’s this?” Logan asked, coming into the kitchen. “Why are you crying?”

Mara wiped the tears from her cheeks as Logan came up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. “I’m not.”

He kissed the side of her neck, then turned her around to face him. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong. The cost of groceries too high? They were out of Midnight Milky Way bars? You broke a fingernail?”

“Logan . . .”

He kissed the tip of her nose. “I’ve been online, reading up on what we should expect during your pregnancy.”

“Oh?”

He nodded. “It said pregnant women tend to be overly emotional. You know, hormones out of whack and everything.”

“I don’t want to be pregnant,” she wailed. “I don’t want to be mortal.” Mortals were weak, subject to illness and death. She could be hit by a car, struck by lightning. She could die in childbirth. Was death the end, or was there truly a life beyond this one? The thought of eternal damnation was even more frightening than the thought of dying. Not for the first time, she realized that if there was an afterlife, she was surely bound for Hell.

“I think we’ve covered this before.”

“I know.” She sniffed back her tears. Maybe Logan was right. Maybe she was just behaving this way because she was pregnant. Once the baby was born . . . She blew out a sigh of resignation. Once the baby was born, she would still be mortal. But Logan could fix that. Or could he? It was Ramsden’s opinion that she couldn’t be turned a second time.

No. She refused to believe that. It was just his best guess. She had to hold fast to the hope that Logan could bring her across once she got rid of the child. Even with the Dark Gift restored, she probably wouldn’t be the same as she had been before. She had been the most powerful vampire in the world, but she hadn’t gained her incomparable power overnight. No, it had taken centuries before she could walk in the sun’s light, centuries to gain the strength and abilities she had once possessed.

What would it be like, to be a fledgling again? To be under her master’s control? At least Logan loved her. He wouldn’t be cruel or condescending. He would treat her as an equal. Soon the baby would be born and she could put an end to this wretched existence. She just needed to be patient and all this would be over. If being a vampire had taught her anything, she thought as she rested her forehead against Logan’s chest, it was patience.

“You were thinking about me this morning,” Logan said, stroking her hair.

Startled, she looked up, her gaze searching his.

“Weren’t you?” He ran his knuckles over her cheek, his touch tender, sensual.

“Yes.” The word was little more than a whisper. She had been disturbed by her dream about Logan. Did he also know there were nights when she dreamed of Kyle? She felt discomfited, as though her mind had been violated. Had mortals felt this way, when she divined their thoughts? She wanted to be angry with him, but she couldn’t, not when he was stroking her hair, not when his gaze rested on her face.

“I’m here now,” he said quietly, and kissed her brow.

“Logan . . .” Why couldn’t she love him instead of Kyle?

“I’m here,” he murmured. “I’ll always be here.” And cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her gently.

She moaned softly as she leaned into him. His mouth was as warm and firm as she remembered. Why did she continue to think about a man who had scorned her? To wonder if things would have turned out differently if she had kept the truth to herself? Logan was worth a dozen Kyle Bowdens. So why did thoughts of Kyle continue to plague her? Maybe it was normal, all things considered. After all, she was carrying his child.

Logan’s arms tightened around her as his hands skimmed up and down her back, pressing her body closer to his. “Is this what you want?”

“Yes. No. Oh! I don’t know what I want anymore!”

“No?” He lifted one brow. “It’s what you wanted last night.”

She didn’t deny it. It was what she wanted now, too, but how could that be when she was in love with Kyle? Wasn’t she?

Logan brushed a kiss across her lips. “Past or present, it doesn’t matter. We were always good together.”

She stroked his cheek. “Yes, but . . .”

He took a step backward, his expression hardening. “You don’t want to get too involved.”

Mara folded her hands over her stomach. “It’s not that.”

“It won’t hurt the baby.”

Last night, swept up in a firestorm of passion, she hadn’t been thinking about the baby. “Are you sure? How do you know?”

“I told you, I’ve been reading about pregnancy, what to expect, what to do, and what not to do.”

She found it endearing, knowing he cared enough to read about her condition. She closed the short distance between them. Why not make love to Logan? He was here. He wanted her. And if she was going to be honest with herself, she definitely wanted him. “Are you sure it’s safe?”

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Very sure. I don’t have any diseases, and you’re already pregnant. What else is there to worry about?”

Kyle’s image flashed through her mind, and with it the memory of the last time they had made love. He had been so tender, so gentle. He had given her a bouquet of red roses, spread a furry blanket on the floor in front of the fire. He had undressed her, his gaze filled with adoration, his hands sure as they aroused her. Had their child been conceived that night?

Logan blew out a sigh. He didn’t have to read Mara’s mind to know she was thinking of someone else. “Why don’t you get some rest?” he suggested, reining in his jealousy. “I need to go out for a while.”

“I’m sorry I can’t go with you.”

“So am I. It’s been a long time since we hunted together.” He kissed her cheek. “I won’t be gone long.”

After leaving the house, Logan fed quickly, then strolled down Hollywood Boulevard along what was known as the Walk of Fame, which stretched from Gower Street to La Brea Avenue. From time to time he glanced down at one of the pink five-pointed stars rimmed in bronze that were embedded in the sidewalk. He had read somewhere that the Walk of Fame had been created in 1958. The first honoree had been Joanne Woodward back in 1960. Now, there were stars honoring over two thousand artists of radio, television, theater, and the recording industry. So many names—Houdini, Greta Garbo, Boris Karloff, Bob Hope, Elvis Presley, and Johnny Cash shared space with Walt Disney, Mickey Mouse and Snow White. There was even a star for Lassie.