Out of Mind (Out of Line #3)(19)
Author: Jen McLaughlin

“I…you…” Dad trailed off, making a frustrated sound. “It’s your father. Get dressed and come quickly.”

“My dad? But what—oh God.” Finn tossed his phone to the side, and I lunged out of the bed. “Oh God.”

Before he could turn the light on, I already had his plaid pajama pants out of the drawer and was holding them out for him. The room flooded with light, and I thanked God I’d gotten dressed before I’d fallen asleep because my dad was standing right there watching us with disapproval clear in his eyes.

“Is he okay?” I asked, helping Finn into his pants. He was trembling. “Is Larry…is he…?”

“Dead,” Finn said, his voice hollow. He met my eyes, looking broken and terrified. “She’s asking if he’s dead.”

My dad’s face finally cracked. “No, but he had another heart attack. The ambulance is on its way, but with the snow this heavy, it might take a while.”

“Shit,” Finn said, his voice broken. He closed his eyes, his jaw flexing. “Please, no. Not him, too. Not my dad.”

I swallowed and placed a hand on his biceps. “Shh. Let’s go to him and—”

Finn shook me off and pushed past Dad, bolting toward Larry’s room. He was only wearing his pajama pants, so I grabbed a sweatshirt out of the drawer and followed him. Dad stepped in my path before I could leave the room. “Carrie.”

I glowered at him. “Now isn’t the time to lecture me for disobeying you. Finn needs me.”

“I know. And I’m angry. Make no mistake.” Dad hesitated but grabbed my hand. “It’s bad, Carrie. He’s dying. He won’t make it this time. I can see it.”

My heart slammed to a halt and sped up, all within the span of two seconds. My chest heaved, the tears that wanted to escape choking me, but I refused to let them free. “B-But he can’t die. Finn…h-he…no.”

I slipped past him, running after Finn. If my dad was right, and Larry was dying…God, this would kill Finn. He was already going through so much. Could he possibly recover from this, too? He was still an unstable mess after all he’d been through overseas. If he had to bury his father on top of that, he would never be the same.

He’d never be able to heal.

I stopped in the doorway of Larry’s room. Finn knelt at his side, holding Larry’s hand with his uninjured one. “Dad, I’m here. You’ll be okay. Help’s coming.”

I hovered in the doorway for a second. Finn kept talking to Larry, but Larry looked…oh God, he looked dead. His skin had an ashen gray color to it, and there were no signs of life left within him. Finn squeezed Larry’s hand and called out to him, but there was no reply.

He was dead. Larry was dead.

I blinked away the tears blurring my vision, not even bothering to try to hold them back. I hugged Finn’s sweatshirt to my chest and stepped forward, my grief choking me. He must’ve heard me. He turned around and his gaze fell on me. He looked scared, but not sad. It confused me until I realized…

Oh my God. He didn’t know.

“Is the ambulance here yet?” Finn asked, his voice rushed. “He said my name when I got here, but then he passed out.”

I pressed my lips together tight. I couldn’t break down. Couldn’t cry. “They’re not here yet.” I went around to the other side of the bed and touched Larry’s hand. It was already getting cold and a little bit stiff. So freaking fast. “Finn…”

He shot me a look. “Don’t talk to me like that. He’ll be fine.” Finn dropped his head to the mattress. “He has to be fine. We were just talking. Just…” Finn lifted his head and glowered at me. “Stop looking at me as if he’s dead. He’s not. He’s okay. Got it?”

I nodded, not sure what to do or say. “O-Okay.”

Finn placed a hand on Larry’s forehead. “He’s cold. Can you get him some extra blankets?”

“Uh, y-yes. Sure.” I left the room and opened the linen closet down the hallway. As I pulled out some comforters, Mom and Dad came around the corner, talking quietly. When they saw me, they stopped in their tracks. “He’s still alive, right?”

I closed the door and juggled the blankets. “I don’t think so. But Finn…he doesn’t know. I think he knows, but he can’t know. He can’t accept it yet.”

Dad rushed past me, his face pale, and Mom hugged me. “Oh dear. This is going to hit all of us hard, but Griffin, well, he’s going to have a difficult time.”

I released a huge sob, clinging to my mom and letting the comforters hit the floor at our feet. “I’m so scared. He can’t handle this right now. It’s going to kill him.”

“I know.” Mom hugged me tight. “He’ll need you with him.”

I nodded, let go of Mom, wiped my hands across my cheeks, and then picked up the blankets. I felt like shit, and knew it was only going to get worse, but Finn needed me at his side. I had to pull myself together. At some point, he would realize Larry was gone, and he’d need someone at his side when that happened. He’d need me.

“This is going to kill him,” I repeated.

Maybe I was in shock or something.

“I know.” Mom grabbed my hand and didn’t let go. “But he has you to help him.”

“I don’t think I’m going to be enough this time,” I said, my voice hollow and distant in my own head. “I’m not enough.”

Finn

I clung to Dad’s hand, praying with my eyes closed. I didn’t f**king pray anymore. God had stopped listening to me a long time ago. He’d taken my mom. Taken my unit. And now He was trying to take my father, too. Well, f**k that.

I wouldn’t let Him.

“You can’t have him,” I whispered, my face pressed to my father’s cold hand. Where the hell were those blankets, anyway? “I still need him. He’s not done here yet.”

A footstep sounded in the doorway, and I didn’t bother to lift my head. I couldn’t look at her right now, those sad blue eyes of hers shining with pity. I didn’t need her pity. Dad wasn’t dying tonight. She could save her empathy for someone else.

Anyone else.

“Did you get the blankets?” I asked.

“She’s getting them,” Senator Wallington said. Oh. It wasn’t Carrie behind me this time. “I’m just coming to check in on Larry. To s-see how he’s doing.”