Out of Mind (Out of Line #3)(55)
Author: Jen McLaughlin

“Yes.” I nodded, feeling completely flustered. “Of course.”

She bent down, picked up the keys, and headed for the door without breaking stride. “Did you know Hernandez never slept in your bed?”

I rubbed my jaw and followed her, using all my strength and resolve to not grab her and pick up where that kiss had ended. What did it mean? Did it mean she loved me, too? That she forgave me? Fuck, I hoped so. “I did. He was on the couch when I came back. He said it didn’t feel right taking over my place when he had his own a few miles away. So I’ve been sleeping in my bed, and he’s been on the couch.”

“He never got rid of his place?”

“Nah. He owns it.” I glanced her way. “He’s had it ever since his grandfather died. He just stayed here for the job.”

She shook her head. “He never wanted this job.”

“No.” I took the keys out of her hand and unlocked the door. “He did it for me.”

“I know.” She walked inside. She took it all in, her face a mixture of hope and nostalgia. “Now we talk.”

I closed the door and tossed the keys on the table. “Okay.”

“Do…” She sat down on the bed, bouncing to test it out. She looked back toward the pillow, frowning when she saw the purple rose on the pillow. Reaching out, she picked it up and looked at me. “What’s this?”

“I was going to give it to you, but then decided the note was too much.” I shifted on my feet. “Too soon, because you hadn’t forgiven me yet.”

She looked down at it, her fingers lightly caressing the petals. “Can I read it?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I crossed the room and grabbed six more. I’d struggled to pick the right message today. “Here’s the rest.”

She looked up at me, her eyes filling with tears. “Were these all too personal, too?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

She took a deep breath and unrolled the paper. “Love me.”

“Yeah.” I tossed the red one on the bed. I hadn’t even realized that people dyed roses all these crazy colors until recently. I thought they only came in red or pink. “This one says: The sun is shining. Love me.” The pale green one. “I can’t live without you. Love me.” Pink next. “You look beautiful. Love me.” Another pink one. “I’ll never make you cry again. Love me.” Last, the yellow one. I tossed that in her lap. “I want to marry you. Love me.”

She looked up at me, tears falling down her cheeks, and picked up the yellow one, holding it to her chest. “God, Finn.”

“I’m going to be honest with you here.” I paced her way, nibbling on my thumbnail. “I’ll never be the same guy you fell in love with. I still get headaches, I have scars, and I occasionally have those nightmares, too. I don’t drink to hide the pain anymore, and I don’t abuse pain pills anymore, either. I was in a dark, dark hole the last time we were together, but I’m better now.”

She stood up, still holding the yellow rose. “Finn—”

“Wait. Before you say anything, I know you could do better. I know Riley is better. But damn it, you love me. You even said it. It might be scary and hard, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Making you laugh. Making you cry. Making love to you. I want to be yours…and I need you to be mine. Please. I’m begging you—and I don’t f**king beg. You know that.”

Tears shined in her eyes. “Are you done yet?”

“I…no.” I tugged on my hair, looking at the half-dozen roses scattered across my bed. “I love you, and no one will ever love you like I do. I know I f**ked up, and I’ll spend my whole life making it up to you, if you’ll let me. Please, just let me love you. Love me.”

“Yes. Yes, yes, and yes.” She launched herself into my arms, hugging me tight and crying. “I love you, too. I do. I love you so much.”

“Y-You do?” I looked down at her, my mind spinning and my heart racing. “You still love me?”

“Yes, I love you, you idiot.” She cupped my cheeks. “I’ve laughed with you. I’ve been blissfully happy with you. I’ve cried with you. I’ve cried for you. I’ve been scared for you. I’ve hurt for you and from you. I’ve even been broken hearted over you.” She looked up at me, tears rolling down her cheeks. “But I never want to be without you again.”

“Then you won’t be. I swear it.”

She lifted her face. “Good. Now kiss me before I die.”

Chapter Twenty-Five – Carrie

The second his mouth closed over mine, I lost myself. I gave myself over to him willingly, knowing this was the right choice. No second-guessing or wondering. This was Finn, and I was me. We belonged together like this. It was the way we were supposed to be. His tongue touched mine, and he growled, pressing me back on the bed. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close. There was no way I’d ever let go of him again. Not even if he pushed me away. Not even if he tried to make me not love him anymore.

Love like this wasn’t meant to die.

He pressed his hard length against me, and I spread my legs so he could rest within them. We both moaned when he fell into place, but we didn’t stop kissing. I don’t think I could have even if someone forced me to. He slid his hand under my butt, lifting me against his erection. I rolled my hips, desire twisting and turning in my belly.

He broke off the kiss with a gasp, dropping his forehead on mine. “I can’t believe we’re back here again. I didn’t think you’d ever forgive me.”

“I love you.” I sat up and watched him as he pulled his shirt over his head. “Love is forgiveness, compromise, and dedication. I think we have that all covered. Now get naked.”

“Fuck yeah.” He tossed his shirt over his shoulder, his steamy blue eyes latching on to mine. “Your turn.”

I shook my head. “You need to be naked first, because once I get my hands on you? I’m not stopping.”

He undid his fly and dropped his shorts, kicking out of them easily. After he shimmied out of his boxer briefs, he stood there naked for the first time since his accident. Staring at me, waiting, letting me look my fill. He had scars all over his arm, and the scar on his head was still there, obviously. His muscles were as toned as ever, and he looked tanner than he used to be. He looked nervous, as if I might not like what I saw.