Out of Time (Out of Line #2)(15)
Author: Jen McLaughlin

I met her eyes. “His work might be sending him away.”

“Oh, that sucks.” She nodded. “I dated a guy once who was a drummer in a band. It was right when we moved out here for school. He was never around, and when he was, all he wanted was sex. We never even talked, really. It took me a little while to realize I was nothing but a convenience for him when he was in town. He probably had one of me in every city his band played.”

Marie pressed her lips together, looking angry at the memory. I reached out and squeezed her hand reassuringly. “He sounds like a real jerk.”

“He was.” Marie gave me a small smile. “Is that how your guy is?”

“No. He’s…he’s great,” I said, my voice breaking. “That’s why I have no idea what the heck happened tonight. One second he was fine, and the next he was yelling and being nasty. I’ve never seen him like that.”

Marie nodded. “Do you think he’s stressed out about maybe leaving? Stress can cause men to act like weirdos. One time my dad was acting like a jerk, and we had no idea why. Turned out, he had learned he had cancer and was processing it all. And one of the ways he did it was by ranting at the whole world.”

I swallowed hard. It hadn’t occurred to me until now, but Finn and Marie had both lost a parent at the same age. “God, that’s awful. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, it sucks,” she said softly, her eyes sad despite her words. “But thanks.”

I hugged her, feeling like an idiot. All this time I’d been judging her as vapid and empty, and here she was making me feel better. Sharing life stories with me. I hadn’t treated her fairly, but I made a vow to stop doing it. “I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet with you. I…I’m not used to this kind of life. I’m not good at this.”

Marie grinned. “You mean like how you didn’t want to bathe the first week because people might see you in the communal shower?”

I facepalmed myself. “You noticed?”

“It was pretty hard to miss. You were hand bathing for a while.”

“Yeah. It was pretty pathetic.”

“Pretty much,” she teased, her eyes sparkling again. “But anyway, about your man…do you think that’s what this was about? Him taking out his stress on you?”

I straightened my back. “Now that you mention it, that’s probably what this was. He’s nervous and he lashed out at me. That’s what he was trying to talk to me about. I’m such an idiot.”

“It’s not your fault. Guys are weird,” Marie said, patting my back. “How are we supposed to understand how their brains work?”

“I have to go find him.” I grabbed the knob, but froze with my hand on it. “Hey, thank you. I’m sorry I cried all over you. I owe you a shirt.”

Marie grinned. “It’s okay. It was kind of nice to be the one comforting someone else for once. I’m usually the one who’s a mess.” Marie met my eyes. “Besides, I picked one up from the lobby earlier. Thanks for the donation.”

I froze. “You know?”

“Well, I did see it laying out on the bed earlier, and then it was in that mysterious donation box.” She shrugged. “It wasn’t hard to figure out. But don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

“Thank you.” I hesitated. “You can have first pick if you want.”

She laughed. “I might agree to that.”

“Okay.” I still didn’t leave. Instead, I looked at her again, trying to see past the smile and glasses. Maybe it was time to try being friends with a girl for once. I hadn’t really wanted to try again, after all the girls I grew up with turned out to be major bitches. But maybe it was time to grow up a bit, like Finn said. “Hey, want to go get coffee sometime? Maybe talk some more?”

Her cheeks flushed and she wrapped her arms around herself. “I’d like that. Now go get him…whoever he is.”

Maybe I’d tell her tomorrow, but tonight I had to go get my man.

I closed the door behind me and rushed down the stairs, passing a surprised-looking Cory without so much as a word. As I dialed the local cab company, I decided to see what I could do about getting a car ASAP. Calling a cab every other day was ridiculous.

“Yes, hello. I’d like a cab to get me at—” I broke off as soon as I saw him. Finn hadn’t left. He sat on the bench outside my dorm room, his face in his hands. “Never mind.”

I hung up on the cab company and slowly walked over to him. He looked so vulnerable.

He’d taken off his jacket and tossed it on the ground, and his tie hung loosely off his neck. My heart broke at the sight of him. When I stopped directly in front of him, I fisted my dress in my hands and tried to figure out what to say that wouldn’t lead to another fight.

“You ready to talk without the fighting?”

His head snapped up and his bright blue eyes pinned me in place. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I’m sorry. So f**king sorry.”

“I know.” I sat down beside him and sighed. “I am, too.”

He gave a harsh laugh. “You didn’t do anything to be sorry for. I’m the one who took a simple conversation and turned it into this.”

“I’m the one who got angry and didn’t let you talk.” I took a deep breath and rested my hand on his knee. “You’re nervous, aren’t you? That’s what you wanted to talk about? What you were trying to say?”

He shook his head, his expression ironic. “Nervous? I’m f**king terrified. I’m scared because your father isn’t texting me, and I have to go talk to my C.O. I’m terrified because the one time that I try to do something nice for you, I f**ked it up.”

“It’s okay. I get it.”

“It’s not f**king okay. That’s not all I’m scared about.” He dragged his hands down his face and looked at me, his eyes raw and open. “I’m scared your father is going to shove me out of your life when he finds out about us. That he’s going to make you see I’m not good enough for you or your world. But most of all? I’m scared you’ll realize it all on your own without him there to tell you.”

I recoiled. That’s not what I’d expected him to be scared of, for God’s sake. He was supposed to be afraid of leaving and war and guns. Not something that would never, ever happen. “That’s ridiculous.”