Perception (Club Destiny #6)(23)
Author: Nicole Edwards

God, this was too confusing.

Staring back at him, she suddenly hated herself for allowing him to wear her down, but she knew that she couldn’t lie to him. She wasn’t built that way. The truth was the only way she knew, because without the truth, what was left?

“Tell me, Mercedes. Tell me that last night wasn’t just a demonstration. You felt more, didn’t you?”

“Maybe. I don’t know,” she finally said, rationalizing her thoughts. She didn’t know anything anymore. In the span of one night, he’d flipped her world upside down, and she didn’t know which way she was going anymore. The emotions that churned inside of her were unexpected and left her hovering on the brink of insanity.

“Tell me this,” he prompted. “Last night, what did you feel?”

What did she feel? An easier question would be what didn’t she feel. He’d made her feel more in twenty minutes than she’d felt in years, and that scared the shit out of her. She wasn’t looking for anything. She was content with her life and what he represented was nothing more than danger to everything she’d created for herself. And she knew that one wrong decision could very well damage their friendship beyond repair.

Was she willing to risk it?

Mercedes looked away, breaking eye contact with him. He didn’t allow her to disengage though. He just curled his finger beneath her chin, turning her head back so that she was facing him, and she let him.

“Tell me,” he ordered as he dropped his hand to his side.

“I’m used to being in control. You know that.” He didn’t say anything, so she continued. “I’m in control of every aspect of my life – business and personal. And that includes my sex life. I control my destiny. I decide what and when. That’s who I am, Xander. What we did last night goes against who I am.”

“But you enjoyed it.”

It wasn’t a question.

This time Mercedes didn’t look away. “Yes. I did. Are you happy now?” she bit out. “That doesn’t change anything. I still crave the control.”

Sort of.

“Do you?”

She hated when he did that. She didn’t want to talk about this.

“Yes, dammit,” she snapped. “What happened last night…” Mercedes closed her eyes briefly and then reopened them, a renewed sense of purpose filling her. It was her turn to get answers. “Remember that night at Kink when you volunteered to let Mistress Desiree demonstrate on you because no one else had the balls to do it, how did that make you feel?”

“Like I was in someone else’s body,” he told her, his answer surprisingly honest.

“Then you know exactly how I felt, X,” Mercedes stated firmly.

“When are you going to stop lying to yourself, Mercedes? To us both?” he argued, his voice low, his tone even. “I was with you, remember? You came apart at the seams when we were together.”

Yes, she did. Against her will.

Ok, no, not really. But still.

“And you think that’s all I need? An orgasm?” Mercedes tried to pull away again, but Xander held her wrists more firmly.

Xander opened his mouth. Closed it.

She wanted to know what he had to say. But then actions replaced words and Mercedes found herself giving in to something she’d dreamed about since the moment Xander put his hands on her last night.

As he looked into her eyes, he tightened his grip on her wrists just as little and moved his free hand up, his knuckles lightly grazing her nipple as he did. Then he was sliding his fingers into her hair, cupping the back of her head, as he leaned down, pressing his lips to hers.

He was kissing her.

For the very first time.

And sweet mother mercy, the man could freaking kiss.

Mercedes was pretty sure her knees were going to give out.

Contrary to the heated argument they were having, Xander’s lips were soft, his hand gentle as he held her.

She hesitated only briefly before she gave in, kissing him back with delicious intent. Her legs weakened, her body ignited with sensation as the kiss penetrated her bloodstream, moving through her entire body in a rush.

It didn’t take long before the passion of the moment overwhelmed them both.

Holding her head firmly, Xander controlled the kiss, and she let him. It would serve no purpose to try to top him. He wasn’t going to allow it. And, truth be told, she wanted to remember what it felt like to be dominated, to let go of the control, to concede to someone else for even a brief moment.

Just this once.

She pressed up against him involuntarily, unable to stop herself. What this was between them wasn’t normal. It wasn’t run of the mill. And dammit all to hell, it wasn’t only about sex although it would appear that way from the outside looking in.