Perfect Regret
Perfect Regret (Bad Rep #2)(38)
Author: A. Meredith Walters
“Have a life that matters. A life with purpose. Find your own way but don’t lose sight of the journey. Do this for me,” my dad said softly and I hated the finality of his words. As though he were imparting his final goodbye. It made my heartache and my stomach knot up but I took those words inside me and swore I would live them.
I nodded, wiping the tears from my face, unable to say anything. My dad seemed satisfied and closed his eyes again. After a few minutes, his breathing evened out and I realized he had fallen back asleep.
Feeling emotionally spent, I got up and kissed my dad’s cheek and went back out to the waiting room so that my brother could come back.
Each of us had our time with Dad and then it was time for him to be wheeled back for surgery. His cardiologist came out and talked with Mom and explained how the surgery would go. I hate to admit that I barely listened. Mostly it was a bunch of medical mumbo jumbo that went right over my head.
All I could hear were my dad’s words to me ringing in my ears. Have a life that matters. A life with purpose.
Felicity went outside to call her husband and kids. Gavin went with Mom to get a coffee. I was left in the waiting room staring at the wall. I thought about calling Garrett to see if he had gotten on the road, but I quickly realized I didn’t even have his number.
I checked my texts messages and saw that I had a few from Maysie, one from Gracie and a missed call from Moore Pruitt, the general manager at Barton’s. I sent a quick reply to Maysie and Gracie, letting them know what was going on with Dad. I figured Moore could wait until I knew more. I needed to send an email to my professors letting them know I’d be out for a few days. I also needed to call the newspaper to let them know about my absence. But all that could wait until later.
Until I knew how Dad’s surgery went.
One hour turned into two. Two into three. I ate a horrible lunch of dried out hamburger and greasy fries. Gavin and I argued over what to watch on the TV. Felicity talked Mom into taking a walk on the nature trail behind the hospital.
But the minutes crawled by like years. It was by far the longest day of my life. And when the doctor finally came out to find us it was only four hours later.
My blood rushed through my ears and all I could hear was Dad had done well and was now in recovery. My knees buckled and I had to sit down in relief. Felicity started to cry and my mom’s shoulders were shaking.
The doctor continued to talk about things they were going to be looking for and the fact that the next twenty-four hours were critical. But all I heard was my dad had gotten through his surgery all right.
The relief I felt in that statement couldn’t be described in words.
Once we had time to process that Dad had pulled through, Mom insisted I head back to the house and get some rest.
“You look like you’re about to fall over, Ri. We’ll call you if we hear anything more,” Gavin assured me.
I argued that I wanted to see Dad when he woke up but was reminded he would most likely be sleeping for a while and he wouldn’t be allowed visitors until much later.
I needed to sleep, I was feeling almost slaphappy. So I took Mom’s van keys and headed home.
I was surprised to find that my car was still in the driveway. I would have thought Garrett would have been headed back to Bakersville by now.
I went inside and found Garrett tying his shoes. He looked like he had just gotten out of the shower, his blond hair wet and slicked back from his face. It made him look younger somehow.
“Hey,” he said softly as I came in. I dropped the keys into a bowl on the counter and practically collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs.
“Hey,” I said tiredly, resting my head in my hand. Garrett finished tying his shoe and sat up.
“How’s your dad?” he asked.
“He just got out of bypass surgery. He made it through but the next twenty-four hours will be critical,” I parroted the doctor’s words, feeling my exhaustion settle into my bones. I was about to collapse.
“You need to sleep. Come on,” Garrett helped me to my feet and then did something that had I not been close to a coma, would have totally freaked me out. He reached down and swept me up in his arms. He carried me down the hallway to the spare bedroom where he had slept earlier.
He laid me down on the freshly made bed and with surprising tenderness, smoothed my hair away from my face and re-positioned the pillow under my head.
“I thought you would have left by now,” I stated as Garrett started to take off my shoes and socks, placing them on the floor.
Garrett shrugged. “I didn’t want to leave until I knew you were okay,” he said matter a factly, as though it were an obvious answer.
I didn’t know what to make of him and the way he had shown me in a hundred tiny ways that he cared. This person who had I had spent a good deal of time detesting, was in truth one of the most decent guys I had ever met. I had totally misjudged him.
“I’ll let you rest. I really hope your dad is okay,” Garrett said, getting to his feet.
I reached out and grabbed his hand before he could walk away. “Please don’t leave. Not yet,” I said with more feeling than I thought I was capable of in my exhausted state.
Garrett’s brow furrowed but he sat back down on the bed. “Riley, you need to rest,” he said more firmly.
I tugged his arm. “Just lie down with me for a little while,” I pleaded. Yes, I was practically begging this guy who I had rejected at every turn, to cuddle with me. But I was an emotional mess right now and his company was something I craved.
Slowly, Garrett kicked off the shoes he had just put on and lay down beside me. I scootched over to make room on the double bed. Garrett stretched his arm above his head, his other arm laying awkwardly beside him as though he didn’t know what to do with it.
I rolled onto my side and pressed my back into him and then he got the hint. He slid over and wrapped his arm around my waist. This spooning thing really was an uncomfortable business. You never knew what to do with your arms or legs. It took forever to find that spot where you felt like you weren’t a human pretzel.
But when you found that spot, it was pure bliss. And when I found that spot with Garrett I never wanted to move again. Our bodies synched up and we sort of melted into each other. Garrett tucked my head under his chin and I felt warm and secure wrapped up in him like this.
“Will you be here when I wake up?” I asked almost fearfully. I couldn’t figure out why it was so important for him to be here with me. But right now it was the most necessary thing in my world.