Perilous Light (The Afterglow Trilogy #2)(27)
Author: Alyssa Rose Ivy

“You did it!” I didn’t see Samantha move to the front of the room, but I felt her arms around my neck and the quick peck of her lips against my cheek.

I smiled and pulled her closer, high on the success of the event and on the way it felt to have Samantha so close. I looked up and saw Henry wink at me. Some signs were universal.

Chapter Fifteen:

Charlotte

Calvin brought me back to the cave right before dawn, and I barely had time to settle into sleep before it was time to get up. I tried to hide my exhaustion but I was sure everyone noticed. Luckily, I was able to keep myself awake throughout the day by thinking about Calvin and how amazing it was to be with him again. Even sleep deprived, I felt recharged.

We stopped for lunch by a small stream to replenish our water supplies. Stretching out in the low grass, I enjoyed the bit of warmth the sun provided. Lawson kept us entertained with stories of his childhood with his brothers, and I laughed so hard my sides ached. Next time Henry gave me a hard time, I’d have to bring up some embarrassing tidbit from when he was a kid.

In the middle of one of Lawson’s stories, I realized that James wasn’t with us. “Where’s James?”

Monty quirked an eyebrow. “Probably taking a walk.”

“Oh, I didn’t see him leave.”

Liam studied my face. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

Doubt flooded me once again. I started to picture James meeting with Blake’s men, and worried that the entire trip was one big trap. I knew logically that my thoughts had no basis. Instinctively, I recognized that James had spoken the truth about my mother, but my imagination was on overdrive and overwhelmed rational thought.

“What’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?” Liam asked quietly while Monty and Lawson talked.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.” Even with all the mental doubts, I still felt that James was good. I didn’t want to cause problems. I had to trust my instincts.

As we packed and prepared to leave, James reappeared with a sack overflowing with teal-colored berries. “Our supplies were running low, and I thought I recognized some berry bushes a little ways back.”

***

There were no natural shelters to be found, so we slept out in the open that night. We were in an area that had once been dense forest, but had been cleared, leaving only a scattering of tree trunks. Thankfully, it wasn’t snowing. I lay awake under the clear sky, staring up at the stars. I couldn’t stop analyzing my feelings for Calvin. Reuniting with him felt so natural, so right—but almost too right. Liam took the first watch, so he was the only other one awake.

“How do you know if something is real?”

“You go with your gut.” Liam readjusted his position, leaning against a large tree stump to face me.

“And what if your gut is wrong?” I didn’t make eye contact, embarrassed even to be having doubts again. I wondered what had happened to all my confidence from the previous night.

“You hope for the best,” Liam answered in barely a whisper. I glanced over at him. He gazed up at the sky, unaware that I watched him. “Have you noticed how different the night sky is here?”

“There are a lot more stars.” I caught Liam’s eye as I spoke, and the intensity of his gaze let me know that he knew about Calvin. “You didn’t try to stop me.”

“I admit I followed you until you got on the horse. I thought about trying to call you back, but realized that I had to let you go.”

“Oh. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just—”

“I know, and I don’t blame you.” Liam’s tone was calm, but something else was behind it.

“You trusted my judgment that much?” I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest.

“Of course. You’re pretty intuitive now. I admit I still don’t like the idea that you spend so much time with him.” Liam nodded toward where James slept.

I laughed lightly. “After the way he kissed me the other night, I have to agree with you.”

“But seriously, Charlotte, only you know what’s real and what isn’t. No one else can tell you what to think.”

“Calvin says he’s on our side now. He says he’s going to help.” I anxiously looked at Liam, wondering what he thought.

Liam shrugged. “I assumed as much.”

“You did?”

“I figured the guy had to be smart enough to figure it out eventually. Besides, if he hadn’t, why would he just visit with you for a night and let you go?”

“I know I can trust him, but my emotions are so out of control when it comes to Calvin.”

“That’s to be expected. I know the whole Gerard-Essence thing is supposed to be natural, but it’s also weird. You’re only seventeen, and you’re tied to this guy you hardly know, who pretty much kept you prisoner. That has to be hard.” Liam seemed nervous. I guessed he was afraid I wouldn’t like his bluntness.

“You’re right.” I pulled the extra blanket tightly around me. “It is weird, but the part that’s natural makes me forget the weirdness when I’m with him.” I felt tongue-tied trying to explain it.

“And when you’re not with him?” Liam’s eyes searched my face for something.

His gaze unsettled me, and I paused briefly before responding, “When I’m not with him, I’m such a mess of emotions.” I rested my head on my knees. I hated admitting weakness.

“You’re not embarrassed, are you?”

“Of course I am. I feel weak.” I took a deep breath before lifting my head.

“Weak? You’re anything but weak.”

“I appreciate it, Liam, but I know I am. If I can’t control my emotions, how can I possibly be the Essence and help my mom or Energo?”

“You’ll do what you have to do. You have it in you. You just need more confidence.” He paused as if deciding what to say next. “Speaking of your mom, are you excited to see her?” He had the art of changing the subject down pat.

“I’m excited, but also nervous. Even if we can bring her back, it’s going to be strange, isn’t it?”

“Strange? Like too much has changed?”

“This is going to sound horrible, but I spent so long thinking she was dead that it’s hard to simply pick back up where we left off. Besides, I now know that almost everything about her childhood was made up. She held back so much from us.” It felt good to get my feelings out.