Playing for Keeps (The Game #2)(42)
Author: Emma Hart

He stops at the door, grins, and disappears inside. I shake my head, detouring around the house and taking the route away from the campus toward the bay.

Yet again I failed to tell him about me and Aston. A few words is all it would take, but the longer we hide it the harder it is to find the words. The harder it is be honest.

Lying. I hate it – I hate lying to everyone about everything, because I don’t want to hide us. I don’t want to hide the way I feel about Aston. I don’t want to hide him. I just don’t want to hurt anyone and I know it will hurt Braden.

But the longer I keep it secret the more it will hurt him.

The breeze from the water drifts over me, chilling me, and I tug my sweater around my body tighter. My hair flies into my face and I push it away in vain.

Games. They’re all good until someone gets hurt. Braden and Maddie’s games were all good until they got hurt and both acted irrationally – him by walking away and her by running. Mine and Aston’s games are all good until it gets out, which it will.

The truth always comes out.

I could walk away now. I could speak to Aston and tell him it’s done, I can’t do it anymore, but I’d still be lying then. I’d be lying because I can, because it’s not done.

Lies. They’re easy to keep track of until they begin spiraling and you begin spinning a web of them, too easy to get caught up in. Lies are all good until you look at who you’re lying to.

The question is, is it better or worse to lie to yourself over your best friend?

~

“That was awkward today,” Lila comments as she enters the room.

I look up from my book. “Welcome to my world.”

“A world you created.”

“Your tact amazes me,” I say dryly. “Really, Li, just remind me. It doesn’t play on my mind or anything. Nope, I’m totally oblivious to it.”

“I don’t get why you don’t just admit it.”

“No one asked?” I try, shrugging. I sigh. I don’t know either. “I wish I knew, I really do. It’s not as simple as it looks from the outside. You see it as a simple secret, something hidden for a simple reason. Simple. And it’s not. It’s not just boy meets girl and they fall in love. Its boy meets girl and all hell breaks loose, in his head and in reality.”

“So you’re telling me that Aston’s head is stopping you being honest?” She raises an eyebrow in disbelief. I shut my book and put it on my bed next to me.

“You don’t know him. You think you do – you all think you do, but you don’t. To you he’s just a girl-using, thinks-with-his-dick ass**le to be avoided by anyone with any sense. I know different. I know he’s not what he seems, and I know that what he seems is nothing more than an act to hide who he really is.”

“Okay.” She settles on the bed. “I don’t know either way, so let’s go with what you said. When does your pretending become reality? When does your act end, Megs?”

I sigh and lean back against the wall. “I have no idea. I tried to tell Braden earlier – no, I did. Maybe not hard enough, but I tried. The words just wouldn’t come. I keep thinking about how he’ll look when he finds out I’ve lied to him.”

“Doesn’t matter when he finds out. He isn’t gonna look any happier if he finds out today or next year.”

“I just don’t know how much longer I can hide it. It makes everything so hard. I need to help Aston, Lila, but having everything secret means I can’t always be there and that hurts,” I finish quietly. “I can see when he needs me and it hurts so damn bad.”

She shrugs. “I know now. I can help. Keep everyone away from here or make excuses for you, back you up.”

“I swear you were just telling me I needed to tell Braden.”

“And you do.” She sighs. “But it’s clear you won’t – or can’t,” she corrects at my annoyed look, “so I might as well help you. God help me because I will be killed when this all comes out, but at least I can feel like I’m keeping this secret for a reason.”

“You don’t have to do anything. I got myself into this mess. I just need to figure out how to help Aston, and then maybe everything else will just … Fall into place.” I run my fingers through my hair, sighing deeply. “Maybe. Hopefully.”

“Until everything falls into place, I’ll help you. I’ll make it so you can talk to Aston. I don’t see it myself, I’m not gonna lie. But you care about him, and I care about you, so whatever.”

I look at her for a second, taking in her honest expression, and smile slightly. “You’re the best friend.”

“Or the stupidest, when Braden finds out,” she mutters and heads toward the bedroom.

“Li?” I ask. “You’re not gonna tell him, are you?”

She stops at the bathroom door and looks at me over her shoulder. “I may not agree with you keeping it quiet, and I may not like the fact I know, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna tell him, Megs. I don’t like your decision, but I respect it.”

“Thank you.”

“Besides,” she continues. “If I tell him he’ll kick my ass, and I’m the innocent one.”

“There I was thinking you were doing it out the goodness of your heart!”

“No way.” She grins. “I’m protecting my ass – and you make sure Aston knows about this so I can call in a favor in the future.” She winks. I laugh, reaching for my phone.

Lila knows, I send to Aston.

What the f**k? How?

She guessed. It’s not a total lie …

And?

And nothing. She’s not gonna say anything. She’ll cover for us.

I don’t like this, Megs.

Neither do I, but it’s either she covers or we tell Braden.

Let’s stick with Lila for now.

We need to talk.

About?

You.

~

I sink into Aston’s arms, sliding my hands under his shirt and flattening them against his back. His lips come down on mine firmly, and he sucks my bottom lip between his.

“What’s Lila doing?” he murmurs.

“Lila took the others to crazy golf.” I shrug, looking up at him. “Don’t ask me. She kicked up a fuss to Ryan.”

“Lila hates crazy golf. In fact, she hates any kind of sport.”

“I know.” I shrug again. “She said you owe her.”

“Figures.” He sighs and runs his fingers through my hair to the ends, kissing the end of my nose. “So tell me. What do we really need to talk about? ‘You’ isn’t exactly informative.”