Predatory Game (GhostWalkers #6)(54)
Author: Christine Feehan

“Let me up, Jesse,” she said, trying to hold on to her anger when she felt it slipping away. She was tired of fighting, tired of running, tired of being scared. Most of all, she was tired of loathing herself. “Although this is a waste of time on so many levels.”

The warmth of his body was beginning to creep into the arctic cold of hers, melting the ice around her heart. The caress in his voice, the look of love in his eyes, sent heat curling in the pit of her stomach. She didn’t want to think about how much she loved him, or how cute his smile was. Or how hot his body was. She wanted to hate him. No, she didn’t want to feel anything at all. “Do you really think anyone is going to accept me into their lives? Your team? Your family? They won’t know what I am.”

He couldn’t help leaning in to inhale the scent of her, to nuzzle briefly the warmth of her neck. “You’re the one who can’t accept yourself, Saber. I’m used to the different psychic gifts the GhostWalkers have, and make no mistake, you’re a GhostWalker.”

Tears clung to her lashes and her gaze shifted away from his, even though he held her chin firmly to keep her looking at him. “I’m an aberration. A monster. A child killer. For God’s sake, Jesse, you read the file. I made my first human kill when I was nine years old. I’m not like you or the others. I’m a human killing machine. If Whitney could manage to get me an invitation to the White House to a dinner, I could get close enough to the president to kill him right under the nose of the Secret Service and no one would be the wiser. As he was having a heart attack, I could even look as though I were trying to help him, and neither he nor his bodyguards would ever know I was killing him. You tell me how that makes me one of you.”

He let go of her wrists and framed her face with both hands. “That makes you exactly like the rest of us-exactly. Do you think none of us ever made an accidental kill? We have powers we weren’t meant to have and we have to learn how to control them. Every single one of us knows what it feels like to be afraid of what we are and what we can do.”

Saber opened her mouth to reply, but then his words really penetrated. She hadn’t thought too much about the others and what they could or couldn’t do. She didn’t know. Jess had just made the door slam shut and he’d been across the room. What else could he do? What could Mari and Ken do? Or Logan? She’d been kept separated from others like her because assassins weren’t members of a team. They were loners. They worked in secrecy to carry out their mission. She had never even had a real friend-with the exception of Thorn-and even then, they hadn’t seen each other often.

“Let me up, Jesse.” She couldn’t reason with his body so close to hers and she had to keep her mind on her goal. Survival.

She squirmed, her body rubbing in temptation over his, and he closed his eyes and absorbed the feel and shape of her.

“If I let you up, I lose any advantage I had. In any case, I think you knocked the wind out of me when you threw that elbow. I can’t move.” His body was as hard as a rock and he made no attempt to hide it from her, moving seductively, pressing her closer into the cradle of his hips.

Color swept along her high cheekbones. “You’re moving just fine. Now get up.”

“Actually, I can’t.” His arms tightened possessively, his mouth tasting the scented skin at the hollow of her throat.

His tongue felt like a velvet rasp, moving over her pulse, leaving tiny darts of fire racing over her skin. Her body, of its own volition, melted into his, turning boneless and pliant, catching fire from his, even when her brain screamed at her to not react.

“You betrayed me.” The accusation came out desperate because she felt desperate. Jess Calhoun was her enemy because he was the only one who could stop her from leaving.

“Saber, you’ve been just as well trained as I have. And I know Whitney well enough to know he taught you all about security clearances and need-to-know. You’re black ops, covert, and you absolutely know what that means. I work for the government. When it comes to national security, there’s no backup in me. I’m sorry if it feels like betrayal to you, but I can’t compromise my country because I’m in love with you.”

She struggled again. “If you don’t let go of me, you’re going to end up hurt.”

“You want me to let you go, Saber? If you really think I betrayed you, if you really think I’m no better than Whitney, then do it-kill me now.”

She held her body stiff, her expression closed to him, but he refused to look away from her. He gave her a little shake. “Do it. I know you can. You hear my heartbeat.” He dragged her palm over his chest and held it there. “Either way, you’re ripping out my heart, so do it right.”

“Stop it. You know I can’t.” Tears shimmered in her eyes. “I know you aren’t like Whitney. Don’t push so hard.”

“You’re afraid, Saber. You’re fighting me-us-because you’re afraid to be crushed, to give yourself to me when I might betray you. Really betray you. You’re afraid to give me your heart because you’re afraid I could hurt you worse than anyone ever has. Why would you think that, Saber?” He held her face so that she was forced to look at him when she wanted to turn away from the truth. “I’ll tell you why. It’s because you love me. You love me so much it scares you. And you know how I know that? Because I love you, just as much. All of you, every part of you, from that poor little child who was forced to kill, to the beautiful, courageous woman who’s trying so hard never to kill again. I love you, Saber. I love you. And, if you leave me, you might as well kill me before you go, because I will be dead without you anyway.”

“Stop, Jesse. Stop. You have to stop.”

“You can run for the rest of your life, but for what? What kind of life will you have? Alone? Without me? On the run? Stay with me, Saber. I can’t promise he won’t come after you, but I can promise you that you won’t have to fight him alone when he does.”

She’d been alone for so long until Jess. Then she’d made a home. A life. She had a best friend who made her laugh. Who could talk intelligently on most any subject. She had a man who made her feel beautiful even when she wasn’t. And sexy. She’d never felt that way in her life until he’d opened the door to her and she’d seen the slow burn start in his eyes.

How could she ever bear giving him up and going back to living in the shadows? Pretending? His mouth was warm against her neck. His lips felt soft and firm. She wanted this, the hard strength of his arms, the exciting demands of his male body, the pure velvet magic of his seeking mouth. His lips burned a trail of fire from her throat to the side of her trembling mouth. There was no thought of resistance-how could there be?