Providence

I looked up at him with a dubious expression. “Since when do you care what other people think?”

“I didn’t hear them. They caught me off guard,” he said in a low voice.

I felt one corner of my mouth turn up. “Obviously.”

“That’s never happened before. I should have been able to hear them exit the elevator. I should have heard her pul out her keys. I heard nothing until they walked through the door. If that had been one of Shax’s men, you would have been dead.”

My grin faded quickly, and I struggled to push away any worry. “What does that mean?”

“That means Eli was right. When I’m with you like that, I can’t focus. I’m not only fighting my feelings, Nina. When we’re alone and things get intense, I struggle with your…desires as wel . Can you imagine what you were feeling doubled? It’s impossible to think about anything else.”

“Doubled? I don’t think that’s possible.” As soon as the words stumbled from my mouth, I felt my face flush with crimson. “I just meant that I wouldn’t complain about it.”

“I’m not complaining,” he said, kissing my forehead. “I’m saying we’re going to have to wait until I can afford to be distracted. If anything happened to you …I’ve already put you in danger from my selfishness, Nina. I have to keep my priorities straight.”

I grudgingly nodded. By keeping me safe, he was safe. I couldn’t argue with that.

Jared stood up, taking me with him. “Let’s get out of here. Get some fresh air,” he said.

I smiled. “We’d better.”

Jared chuckled and held the door open for me. He had the quilt his father had bought me when I received my acceptance letter from Brown. It had the school colors in different scraps of fabric that somehow formed the Brown University crest.

“What is that for?” I asked, stopping in the doorway.

Jared shrugged, the blanket folded tightly under his arm. “I thought we could hang out in the sunshine for a few hours.”

I fingered the blanket with sentiment. “I haven’t used that blanket, yet. I’ve been sort of saving it as a keepsake.”

Jared’s mouth turned up into a half smile. “Why?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Gabe bought it for me.”

“Is that what he told you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. Why?”

“I had my mother make it for you when you were accepted into Brown. It makes sense, I suppose. He couldn’t tel you it was from me.”

“This blanket was a gift from you?” I said, my eyes wide with disbelief. “Lil ian made this?” I touched the blanket as if it were gold.

“Yes. So you don’t have to keep it preserved. We can use it for the first time together,” he smiled.

I knew the touched look on my face was pathetic, but I couldn’t help it. His first present to me had been sitting in my closet and I had no idea. “Aw!”

Jared flinched. “Don’t say ‘aw’.”

I couldn’t change my ridiculous expression. “It’s sweet, though.”

“You say ‘aw’ when your boyfriends give you junk,” he said, his face twisting into disgust.

The wheels of my mind thrust into high gear, and I scanned over everything Stacy had ever given me, trying to remember if I was ever insincerely appreciative. I came up with nothing.

“I’ve only had two boyfriends, and neither of them gave me junk.”

Jared’s face scrunched into a doubtful grimace. “You said ‘aw’ when Chuck Nagel gave you that crappy mixed tape.”

My mouth fel open. “It was sweet! Do you know what lengths he must have gone to? Where would you get a cassette tape these days? And he wasn’t my boyfriend,” I argued, shuddering at the thought. “And I can’t believe you remember that!”

Jared rol ed his eyes. “I had to watch that simpleton pine for you for months. You may not have noticed him, but I did.”

I pressed my lips together in an amused smile. “I love the blanket. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he beamed, kissing me.

What I thought would be a peck turned into a longer kiss, and with his free arm Jared pul ed me to him, pressing his fingers into my back. I found myself hoping he would pul me back into the room.

He leaned back with a jerk, keeping his eyes closed. “We’d better go.”

“Laying on a blanket with me in public isn’t so tempting?”

“Right,” he said, nodding once.

We walked to the Main Green hand in hand, weaving through the sea of students. On the few warm days during the school year, the campus lawn went from being desolate to bustling with movement in every direction.

The clusters moved in a distinct way. A game of touch footbal was in ful swing, guitars were being lazily strummed under the shade trees, and the more studious co-eds were hunched over a book. Blankets peppered the grass in vivid colors, creating a patchwork of chatter and laughter. It was a celebration without anything to celebrate, which made it more innocent, more enjoyable.

We settled on a spot by a tree near the center. With a flick of his wrists, the blanket under his arm unrol ed and slowly fel to the ground, perfectly flat.

I shook my head in disbelief.

“What?” Jared asked, smiling cautiously. He sat on the edge of the blanket with his back against the trunk of a budding Tulip tree.

“Nothing,” I said, standing in place while he clinched his jaw at my impertinence.

“You’re going to have to quit doing that. I’d gotten used to knowing how you were feeling without the narrative, but now that I can ask you, when you don’t tel me it nearly drives me insane.”

I smiled at that. “Then we’re even.”

Jared rol ed his eyes as I sat on the blanket. After a moment he smiled and pul ed me to his chest. I leaned back against him to rest my elbows on his thighs, letting the sunshine drape over me. I remembered what Jared had said about feeling happy with him, so I let the bliss I was feeling swel into unbridled ecstasy. I opened al of my senses, the warmth of the sunshine above me, the heat of Jared’s skin below me, his amazing scent floating around us, the laughter in the background, and the convivial atmosphere.

It didn’t take long for Jared to react. “This is amazing, isn’t it?”

I took the chance to make up for the rejection he’d felt earlier. “It’s a beautiful day and I’m lying in the sunshine with the man I love. This is better than amazing. This is heaven,” I smiled, closing my eyes to the sun.

Jared took a deep, satisfied breath and intertwined his fingers with mine.

We remained that way for a long time, listening to the laughter and babbling voices, their words blurring—to me, at least—around us. Jared jostled me a bit when his arm darted out and jerked. He had caught a footbal inches from my face.

“Whoa! Nice catch! You wanna play?” A winded male voice said from the foot of our blanket.

I lifted my hand to block out the sun in order to see the person standing above me. I didn’t recognize him. He was tal and slender, had shoulder- length brown hair, and was wearing only a pair of long khaki cargo shorts and running shoes. His hand was outstretched for the footbal Jared had caught.

“He looks pretty busy to me, Zack.”

I recognized the voice right away; it was Ryan. His chest heaved as he struggled for breath, and his bare chest revealed the scar from where he’d been stabbed. I felt a twinge in the pit of my stomach.