Rapture (Fallen Angels #4)(59)
Author: J.R. Ward

After a moment, she nodded. “Okay, thanks for telling me. And I guess I can forgive the guy considering he saved my life tonight.”

Matthias did a double take, his palm tingling like it wanted to find that gun. “Saved you? How?”

As Matthias sat up in the bed, he was suddenly looking like a very dangerous guy, his body tense, his expression filled with a protective anger that made him seem capable of nearly anything—in her defense.

Mels shifted around, that attraction she’d felt before surging.

“How did he save you,” came the growl.

“Well…” As she searched for words, she loosened her coat, letting it slide from her shoulders and pool in the chair. “I was at St. Francis following up on some work, and there was a construction zone. Some guy was working overhead, and the ceiling wasn’t strong enough to support his weight or something. A bunch of girders and tiles fell down—and like, from out of nowhere, this Heron guy jumps into the room and puts his body in the way. He caught it all, even though God only knew how much it weighed. And then the construction man fell through the opening. He’d had a heart attack, I guess? We were meeting with one of the guys who works in the morgue and he started CPR right away. It was bizarre.”

Matthias took a deep breath. Like he was profoundly relieved.

And reactions like that were the reason she trusted him. In spite of all the other stuff.

Mels shook her head. “It was just a freak-accident/close-call kind of thing. But man, I was lucky he was there.”

“Can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure.”

“Come over here.” He held out his hand. “And not because I’m going to make a move on you. I just…”

Mels got to her feet right away and crossed the distance between them, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside him, her body leaning toward his. As he took her hand, he rubbed the inside of her wrist with his thumb.

The stroking, more than any words he could have spoken, made her feel precious.

“I’m really glad you came here,” he said, again.

“So am I.”

Reaching forward, she took the sunglasses from his face, and his eyes dipped down like it was hard for him to let her see him properly.

“I told you, you don’t have to be ashamed,” she said quietly.

He laughed with an edge. “About what?”

“The way you look.”

His eyes swung back. “What if I told you that wasn’t the problem.”

“Then what is?”

“I’m not sure you want me to answer that.”

Leaning in, she traced the scars at his temple, and brushed over the brow above the eye that no longer worked. “I like the truth.”

He cursed low in his throat. “Goddamn it, woman…you’re killing me.”

“No, I’m not.”

Matthias’s lids closed for a second, like he was digging deep for self-control. “Do you know what I’m regretting most at this moment?”

“What?”

“That I didn’t know you before. That way I could…”

“Could what?”

As he focused on her mouth, she had a quick urge to lick her lips—and as she gave in to it, he shifted under the covers like his body needed something from her.

Man, it was hot in the room all of a sudden.

“I want to make love to you, Mels. Right here, right now. Matter of fact, I’ve wanted you all along. The instant I saw you in the hospital—that’s when it happened for me.”

Okay…wow. And maybe another woman could have played things coy—but she wasn’t interested in games.

“Me, too.” God, had that come out of her mouth? “I mean, look, it’s been a while for me, so this is all a huge surprise…but there was something different about you from the moment I—” She had to laugh a little. “The moment I hit you with my car.”

That hand of his captured hers again, the stroking resuming.

“Thank you,” he said.

“For what?”

“I don’t know.”

She wasn’t sure she believed that. “Do you really think you’re not attractive?”

“You just saw me in boxers.”

Mels shook her head. “I’m not one of those shallow chicks who needs a guy all jacked up with muscles. There’s so much more to it than that.”

“Maybe, but I’m pretty certain you’d like your man to be able to have sex with you.”

Mels opened her mouth. Shut it. Opened it again.

“Exactly.”

Shit. That probably should have occurred to her, given the other scars on his lower body….

“Straight up, Mels, the only reason I haven’t completely jumped you is because I can’t. I…can’t.” He threw up his free hand and let it fall back down to the bedspread. “And you know what sucks? I’ve been with a lot of women.”

Annnnnnnd that made her chest hurt. “Before you were injured…”

He nodded. “Of all the things for my memory to come back on, right?”

Cue another kick in the solar plexus. “You remember them?”

“I hate it—because I would trade every single random f**k for just one night with you.” He brushed her face with his fingertips and then brought his thumb to her mouth. With the same gentle pressure he’d put against her wrist, he caressed her lower lip. “I’d give up every one of them. Matter of fact, it feels like…a curse to have finally found someone like you, only to have it be too late. And that’s where it’s at. It’s too late for me, Mels, and that’s how you’re killing me. When I look at you, when I see you move, when you smile or take a deep breath, I just…I die a little. Every time.”

Mels felt tears prick the corners of her eyes, an emotion she couldn’t define striking her heart and making it ring.

“You liked kissing me,” she said roughly.

“No. I loved it. I want to be doing it right now. I want…to do other things to you, just to make you feel good. But that’s as far as it would go—and whereas that’s more than enough for me, I know at some point, tonight, tomorrow, next week…it’s not going to be enough for you.”

She pressed a kiss to his hand. “I thought you were leaving.”

“I am. That was just a rhetorical example.”

Maybe. But it gave her a little hope, and she suddenly needed that like she had to have air.