Real Vampires Get Lucky

"You know I wouldn't leave you if I didn't have to, don't you, Gloriana?"

"Yes, yes. You have to go. This could be huge."

"I'm glad you understand. Now what about this ball? What do you have in mind? I suppose we have to wear costumes." Jerry took his hand off the wheel to caress my upper thigh. "If other men wouldn't be there to gawk, I'd like to see you as Eve or maybe Lady Godiva without the bother of the horse."

I shivered as his hand became bolder. "But other men will be there. Maybe we could do something that shows we're a couple." So we can stick it to Mara, of course. Oh, and Mother Campbell. She'd love to see that Jerry and I were bonding. Bratty Gloriana is on a roll here.

" Star Wars. I'd like to see you as that princess. I'll be Luke Sky-something." Jerry grinned at me.

"You are so not with it, Jerry. News bulletin. Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker were brother and sister."

"Can't do that then, can we?" Jerry's grin was anything but brotherly, and his hand had found the edge of my panties.

"I'll be the princess." I wasn't about to admit I always secretly lusted after Han Solo. What is it with women and bad boys anyway?

"Forget the couple thing. There's only one costume I love seeing you wear, Jerry."

"Can't go naked, Gloriana. Try not to flash my mum more than once a century." He winked, and I hit him on the knee.

"I meant your plaid, Jerry. You know seeing you in your Campbell plaid always makes me"-I wiggled in my seat-"melt."

"Then by all means. And my mother will love it."

I made a face. "Wear it anyway. I guess we'll just have to demonstrate we're a couple in other ways."

"I can shag you on the dance floor if that will help." Jerry stopped the car and leaned over to trace the edge of my bra, then popped open the front clasp. "I'm always willing to demonstrate we're a couple, anytime, anyplace. Now out of the car." Jerry reached across me to open the door.

"Where are we?" I ignored the cold night air as I stepped out in only my tap pants. I'd kicked off my black suede pumps in the car. Then I looked out and gasped. We were on a hilltop with the most fabulous view of Austin I'd ever seen. The city lights stretched out in the distance. Below us was one of the several lakes in the Austin area. The closest house seemed miles away. In the distance I could see a bridge with cars moving across it and lights from the towers that served the city with power or satellite or whatever.

"I bought this property recently. I'm thinking of building here. What do you think?"

"A home?" He'd been renting from Damian since he'd moved here. He knew I intended to stay awhile, with my business actually close to becoming successful and all. I blocked my thoughts. That is if my freaking blackmailer didn't ruin everything for me. YouTube. And you can bet anything posted about vampires would get about a bazillion hits. The other Austin vampires wouldn't like the publicity. Damn it. I could see my cozy life in Austin blowing apart in my face. I couldn't let that happen.

"Yes, I like Austin and have several reasons to stay." He stood behind me and reached around to cup my breasts. I leaned back against him, pushing my worries away for now. For just a moment, despite the way he held me, this was strangely nonsexual. I finally felt like we were partners. Equals. We'd shared more of our thoughts and feelings with each other recently than we had in centuries. It made me hope that we could finally have a stable relationship. I turned in his arms and pushed my hands under his sweater. He was smooth and warm and solid.

"I love this place you've picked. It has an amazingly good vibe to it." I pulled his head down to kiss him, then danced away. "There are an awful lot of rocks here. Ouch, ouch, ouch."

"Did you say there are blankets in the back of the car?"

"Yes. And I think I see a smooth spot over here with an excellent view of the city." I picked my way across a clearing, imagining a living room with windows that would have those great automatic shades that close during the day. But at night they would open and we could see the lights. Was I actually thinking about living here with Jerry? He hadn't asked, but why else bring me here? It was a long commute to my shop. Which I wasn't giving up without a fight.

I was standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down at a small creek that roamed aimlessly through a tumble of rocks when everything blurred. I grabbed for something to hold on to, but couldn't find anything. My feet slipped and I heard pebbles rattle and splash into the water below. "Jerry!"

"Gloriana?" He caught me just before I fell. "What happened? Did you step on a stone? Lose your footing?" He peered over. "God, it's a forty-foot drop."

Okay. So a vampire could probably survive that kind of fall as long as I didn't impale myself on a branch at just the wrong spot. But I can't say I wouldn't have done some serious damage, broken some bones. Vampires do feel pain. So I was shaking as I held on to Jerry.

"I don't know what happened. I felt dizzy. Which never happens." Jerry held me while he threw a blanket on the ground and settled me in the middle of it.

"I swear there's something off with that Bloodthirsty you've been drinking, Gloriana. I told you it's not doing it for me. If I didn't have Fangtastic or"-he looked at me apologetically-"I know you don't like to hear it, but I do drink from the occasional mortal, then I don't think I'd be strong enough to function as I should."

"The Bloodthirsty is all I've been drinking since Will sent it to me. I love the taste and it's a reputable company. Diana Marchand says Prince Igor himself owns it."

"It's put out by his company?"

"That's what she says. I guess she did research when she invited him to the Winter Solstice Ball."

"Invited him? Nay, Gloriana. I know he's coming to the ball, but Igor doesn't go anywhere unless there's a large donation made to his favorite charity. This month it's the Home for Orphaned Were-Kittens in Budapest. Diana can pretend he's just accepted her invitation and he'll go along with the charade, but it's really more of a business transaction."

"Really? I wonder where Diana got the money to pay him. I guess Damian is footing the bill." I felt another wave of dizziness and nausea. I put my head between my knees. What a pretty sight I must make, wearing nothing but hot pink tap pants and a pea green face.

"Glory, come here." Jerry dragged me to his lap. "Let me feed you." He pulled my lips to his neck. He'd shucked his sweater and jeans. Oh, well, I guess he figured I'd be so rejuvenated by feeding from him that I'd jump his bones afterward. He was probably right.

I felt the glide of my fangs and wrapped my arms around him to hold him close. My breasts scraped against his chest and the erotic pressure made me moan.

"I told ya they was vampires. Lookee there, she's a bitin' him right on the neck."

"Neck? Hell's bells, Leroy. Who cares about his neck? Look at them titties!"

"Focus, Earl. We're here to kill them vampires. Not watch porn."

"Speak fer yerself, Leroy."

Jerry reached for his jeans and the knife he had hidden there. "Careful, Glory. I know you hear them." We spoke in our minds. I took a last gulp and immediately felt stronger. I licked the punctures closed and eased away from Jerry, though I hated to leave that wonderful taste and his warmth.

"How many?" I wished I could cover my "titties" but wasn't above using them as a distraction.

"I sense only two. Play along. Here comes the holy water."

Sure enough, two buckets of icy cold water hit us full force.

"Oh, the pain!" Jerry rolled away, taking his jeans with him. "I think I'm dying!"

"Oh, please. Have mercy!" I threw up my arms and shook my titties, letting them speak for themselves. I covered my eyes, but peeked through my fingers to see the two men who'd been lurking around my shop recently. Leroy and Earl. One of them had the daughter with the Goth boyfriend. Tonight they were dressed in camouflage from caps to boot covers. And they were armed with spears they must have whittled out of canoe oars. Okay, now I was taking them seriously. I really hoped they didn't decide to throw those things.

"They didn't melt, Earl. Told you to spring for the water blessed by the Pope. You always got to pinch pennies."

"Damn it, she's your daughter. Why am I paying for the dang water anyway?" I breathed easier when they laid down their spears to dig into their camo fanny packs. Suddenly I was pelted by garlic pods.

"Oh! Ow! Help me! What can I do to make you stop?" This time I grabbed my breasts and held them out like an offering. Jaws dropped, and I think Leroy and Earl forgot Blade even existed. He crept around the Suburban and moved up behind the two men.

"Now this one is your fault, Leroy. Shoulda bought the kind of garlic already peeled and crushed. Didn't you even read that book you got off the Internet?" Despite being the first to notice my titties, Earl was obviously the least susceptible of the two. He turned to pick up his spear and came face-to-face with Blade. Thank God for the whammy.

Leroy didn't notice. "This'll do it. I did read chapter eleven." He'd pulled out a giant electroplated gold cross and cautiously approached me. Apparently he figured if he actually touched one of those titties with it, he'd kill a vampire for sure. When he got close enough, I snatched the cross and kissed it.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, sir!" I knelt down and began to sob loudly. "You have no idea how long I've waited to be saved from that evil vampire." I sniffled and faked a grateful smile, even manufactured a tear. Applause anyone? Okay, I know I was laying it on thick, but this wasn't exactly a selective audience. Leroy had never looked north of my breasts. "Did you see what that horrible vampire made me do? Why he made me his sex slave."

Leroy's mouth hung open, but I could see his mind working. His friend Earl was a distant memory. Leroy was trying to figure out how to bring home his own sex slave without his wife finding out about it.