Real Vampires Get Lucky

“What's up?” I looked significantly at the mortal customers browsing through the clothing racks. Christmas was just two weeks away and we were doing a brisk business in holiday dresses and red sweaters.

“Talked to Freddy.” Derek stuffed a vintage beaded evening bag into a sack and thanked a customer. “No worries. He thought he could smooth things over for you with his father. I told him to forget it.” Derek turned to me and leaned on the counter. “I'm afraid you're not going to like the next part.”

“What?” I kept glancing at the strange pair in the back room. Anyone else would think it was a man talking to a dog. I knew it was a two-way conversation.

“I've persuaded Freddy to take CiCi and get out of town. We're all going to Paris for the holidays.”

“Oh. Wow.” I put my hand on Derek's arm. “Okay. Being noble here. That's great. For the best and all that. But what am I going to do without you?”

“I've got a couple of replacements all lined up.” Derek frowned, finally acknowledging the odd couple behind him. “For one, Etienne says he has retail experience and he's desperate for money.”

“But I'm not that desperate for help. Am I?”

“Believe it or not, Valdez finally remembers where he knows him from. They go way back. Last job they did together was in New Orleans.” Derek leaned in for a whisper. “Seems his previous names included Steve Delaney. He and the V-man worked security together a time or two. And get this, they were rivals for the affections of the fair Beth, who goes by the name of Brittany these days.”

“You've got to be kidding.” I moved over when a customer tossed a cashmere sweater, red of course, on the counter.

“Coincidence?”

“Maybe I shouldn't leave now.” Derek got a worried look around the eyes, but kept a fake smile for the customer.

“No, no. You have to go. It's a good idea. I'm going to talk to Etienne myself.” Derek turned to give the customer his full attention. The guy would be hell to replace. He was a doll with the ladies. Before I could get to the back room, he'd talked this woman into adding a pearl collar to her outfit to give it the authentic retro look. I stepped into the back room and closed the door. “You guys have something to tell me?”

“Glory, you're not going to believe who this is. I didn't recognize him at first. He's got the beard now and he used to shave his head. And then there's the phony French accent.” Valdez gave a doggy shrug. “Hell, maybe I'm losing my touch.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “And maybe your buddy here didn't want you to recognize him. Eh?”

“What can I say? I never thought to see my old friend Rafael trotting around on all fours again and with such a hairy ass.” Etienne laughed, flashing white teeth and seemingly restored to good health. “And Beth here too. What are the odds?”

“Indeed.” I sat on the room's only chair. “Derek says you're angling for a job. He's leaving me shorthanded here at the holidays, but you can imagine my reluctance to trust a total stranger with the amount of cash I hope to rake in.”

“Steve's not a total stranger, Glory. He's saved my life more than once.” Valdez sat on the floor next to me. “And he should know that if he does anything, anything, to hurt you or your business, he'll live or should I say, not live to regret it.”

“Man, that's putting it right out there, isn't it, Steve?” I patted Valdez's head. “You interested in clerking in my store? Pay's the pits, but I offer a nice commission on sales.”

“I don't know. Doesn't really sound like what I'm looking for. I was hoping maybe Lucky might need me to help protect her and show her the vampire ropes. I've got a lot of experience along those lines, as Rafe here can tell you. Seems like you'd do better to work the store yourself and pass Lucky off to me.” Etienne grinned with what I felt was a very practiced effort to charm me. I couldn't argue with his logic, but I also didn't trust him not to . . . hell, what? Steal the reward money if he caught her killer in another attempt? Now that didn't sound very nice of me or ethical or whatever. But what if he was the killer? Seemed like his arrival in town-in my shop-was a little too timely.

“Why don't you just help Derek tonight and we'll play it by ear? See what Lucky says when she gets here.” I looked at my watch. The mall should have closed by now. “She and her entourage should be arriving momentarily.”

“Yep, I think that's Flo coming in right now.” Valdez was on his feet and at the door leading into the shop. “Let's keep Etienne's real name our little secret, Glory. You can respect his right to privacy, can't you?” I could respect it. Hell, I'd had dozens of names myself over the years. It's part of the survival thing. You move on, you create a new identity. I'd tried to stick with a variation of my real name and at least once a century I went back to Gloriana, which was a huge relief. Etienne was French for Stephen. Fine. Not such a stretch after all. And I was sure Valdez would clue Brittany/Beth in on their connection anyway. Oh, God, but this was getting complicated.

“Well, Gloriana? Are you going to open the door?” Etienne was close behind me, his breath warm on the back of my neck. Then his hand landed on my butt.

I whipped around and pulled out the stake I'd hidden behind the door in the brass umbrella stand. (See? I'm learning.) I held it against Etienne's chest. “Back off, buster.”

“Whoa, Glory. I told you he's okay.” Valdez knew better than to get between me and his buddy, and he obviously hadn't seen the butt/hand contact.

“That's all right, mon ami.” Etienne held up both hands and backed up a foot. “Glory is a survivor, like us. She knows how to take care of herself. Congratulations, mon petit chou. You dazzle me.”

“I'm not your shoe. Or your hat or any accessory to you. Keep your charm and your distance.” I looked down at Valdez. “How long since you've seen this guy last?”

“Fifty, maybe sixty years.” Valdez's eyes gleamed with pride. “You're dazzling me too, kiddo. When'd you put the stake in here?”

“After the fire. Seemed like the time to increase our defense. I've got some others hidden around the shop.” Not nearly enough though. I really liked Blade's baseball bat idea. I was going to see about making a few of those for myself. Definitely needed one behind the counter. I opened the door to the shop and gestured for Etienne to precede me. No way was he getting behind me again. Maybe I should be flattered. Not every man likes a big butt, but I pick who gets to touch. You know what I mean?

“If you want to continue sleeping back here, Etienne, you're going to have to pull your weight. Go help Derek wrap up whatever he's selling. Breakables need bubble wrap, it's under the counter. Tell him to show you how to run a credit card.” I'd moved the shredder to the back room after the scare with Brittany. Etienne just grinned, like he could care less that I'd just had him at stake point.

“Glory, you must see the boots we got. And a little something for you.” Flo had a Nordstrom's bag while Lucky carried two more. Brittany didn't carry anything. I guess so she could fend off any attackers. I slid the pointy cane back into its hiding place and walked out to meet them.

Richard followed the ladies with his usual sardonic look. I never could read his mind but it really wasn't necessary. Shopping wasn't his thing, but he would do anything for Florence. As I said, she's really good at the kiss-and-make-up part. While I admired the turquoise earrings Flo had picked out for me, Etienne hurried to take Lucky's packages. And wouldn't you know he broke into rapid Italian with both Lucky and Flo? God, I hate linguists. I could see Derek struggling to help three customers at once. Forget Etienne. I had a business to run. I sent Richard a mental message to see if he could herd the crew upstairs and out of my way.

When I finally got a break from ringing up sales-love the holidays-Valdez was the only one left of the paranormal bunch.

“You mean Etienne left with the rest of them?” I said this to Derek since Valdez was being petted by a Goth who was waiting for his girlfriend to come out of the dressing room.

“Afraid so. I guess he really didn't want to work here.”

“Then I'll be damned if he'll sleep here.” I made sure I said that loud enough for Valdez to hear. Pals or not, I was not going to be taken advantage of. I may be little and cute. Okay, maybe not so little, but I'm no pushover. Derek nudged me. “Those guys are back again.”

I checked out the two men lurking by the vampire mural. Leroy and Earl, if I remembered correctly. “May I help you find something, gentlemen?”

“Lookin' for my daughter.” The first one, dressed in a red plaid wool shirt and khakis, scanned the room. “Hangs out with one of those Goth freaks.” He didn't seem to care if the man with Valdez heard him.

I forced a smile. “We're a pretty small shop. You want me to look in the dressing room for her? What's her name?”

“Becky. Forget it. I already called her name. She ain't here. Come on, Earl.”

Earl tipped his Oakley cap. “Thank you, ma'am. Kid's out past curfew. Sorry to bother you.” This earned him a shove toward the door.

“Oookay.” I headed to the dressing room. “If you're in there, Becky, you can come out now.”

“Thanks.” A flushed teenager scurried out. “Sorry. My dad. Well. Just sorry.” She grabbed the Goth, who had put his hair into three neat spikes of green, yellow and purple. Those, along with his various piercings and silver dangles, made him into his own personal Mardi Gras float. Hey, I'd spent several decades in New Orleans. Let the good times roll.

“I can't believe he didn't recognize you, Neil.” She tossed a black velvet skirt on the counter. “He just sees through my boyfriend. Forget the fact that Neil is an honor student who is a computer genius.” She snuggled up against him as she counted out the exact change for her purchase to Derek. “Babysitting money. And Daddy is wrong. I still have fifteen minutes until I have to be home. Mom gave me extra time because I had this babysitting gig tonight and Neil picked me up.” She made a face. “I love that y'all are open late. Bye now.” She and Neil left after a final pat for Valdez.