Real Vampires Get Lucky

“Gloriana! Are you listening to me? What's the matter with you?”

I took the handkerchief Jerry handed me and wiped my eyes. “Allergies. It's dusty in here, isn't it? Yes, Mag, how can I help you?”

“I swear I saw this in CiCi's Paris flat last Christmas at her reception for Prince Igor of Transylvania. Gloriana, will you give me a discount? As a member of the family?”

Oh, my God, the woman had brass. She was even trying to fake a smile, but it was a poor attempt. I felt Jerry's arm tighten around my shoulders, a not-so-subtle reminder that I should meet his mother halfway. Yeah, right. Wouldn't you love an immortal motherin-law?

“Certainly, my lady. Jasmine, please ring this up for Lady Campbell with a ten percent discount. And of course we'll take your credit card.” I smiled sweetly. “Or cash. I can't accept a check however. Not from out of the country. It's just impossible for our local bank to deal with. Austin is so provincial.” I said silent apologies to my very worldly bank, but I'd be damned if I'd be that accommodating.

“Never mind, Ma.” Jerry whipped out his credit card. “Happy Christmas.”

“Thank you, Jeremiah.” Mag kissed his cheek.

“Oh, Mag.”

“Yes?” I could see by the look on her face that she had planned to snub me for the rest of her visit now that she'd gotten what she wanted.

“CiCi, Freddy and Derek are in Paris now. She's planning a wonderful open house for Christmas. I believe she mentioned Prince Igor will be there.” I grinned at the look on Mag's face. Oh, the choice to be made. Ruin her son's life or rub shoulders with the vampire aristocracy of Europe. If vampires could have sleepless days, Mag was destined for one. Jerry kept silent and even hid his own smile, but I didn't have to read his mind to know which way he was voting. He steered his mother to a painting of a Paris street scene. Talked Mara into a fur wrap while describing a stroll down the Champs-Elysées. In between French references, Jerry filled me in on his search for his daughter. Apparently the last-known address for Lily had been in Tokyo, but that had been fifty years ago. He was following leads in Europe and South America but with little success. The Internet was a huge help, but vampires have always been clever about staying off the grid. They don't exactly post a MySpace page.

A group of college students pushed inside. Two girls headed for the vintage cocktail dresses while the boys stopped in front of the collectible books.

“Oh, my, what fine, healthy-” Mag's nostrils quivered as she bore down on the young men.

“Mother! You'll not-” Jerry shot me a frantic look as he grabbed his mother's arm.

“Let go, Jeremiah. Can't you see Gloriana has arranged for privacy here?” Mag nodded toward the giggling girls who were taking dresses into the curtained alcoves to try them on. Mag wrenched her arm free. “Don't make a scene, Jeremiah.”

“Mag!” I started toward her, then noticed Mara tucking a white silk teddy into her coat pocket. “Put that back!” I sent Mara a sharp mental message.

Mara turned and looked at me with wide, innocent eyes. “Did you say something to me, Glory? Oh, Mag, I don't think you're supposed to do that here.”

I turned to see Mag leading the two dazed male students, one of them clutching a rare, old edition of Kidnapped (how appropriate), toward the last empty dressing room.

“Jerry! Why didn't you stop her?” I started toward Mag, but he intercepted me next to the blouses.

“Leave it alone, Glory. She'll be done soon. And they'll not remember a thing.” Jerry winced. “Mara, do you wish to buy that?” I turned in time to see a vintage silver evening bag disappear into Mara's abundant cleavage. I grabbed her arm and hustled her toward the back room. “Listen, you shoplifting bitch. I'll have that back if I have to pick you up by the heels and shake it out of you.”

“Wow! I've heard of zero tolerance for stealing, but this is ridiculous.” A teenager who had the Goth look down pat hurried toward the door, hastily putting a silver bracelet on the counter as she went past it.

Valdez woofed at her in case she missed the point.

“Calm down, Glory. I was just having a bit of fun.” Mara handed me the purse. “I have better than this at home anyway.”

“Did Mark and Joey leave without us?” The girls had come out of their dressing rooms, obviously anxious to show off the gowns they'd tried on.

“I think they went for coffee next door. I had some coupons for free drinks.” I searched the counter and came up with two more for Mugs and Muffins. “Those gowns look great on you. New Year's Eve is coming up. Why not surprise the guys?”

“Good idea.” The girls hurried back into the dressing rooms, and I sagged against the counter.

“Naughty Mag.” Mara twitched her hips and a charm bracelet I'd had on display near the poodle skirts fell to the floor. “I'll see if I can hurry her along. And tell her to suggest to the guys that they just had coffee.”

“God, Jerry, please get them out of here. And why the hell didn't you back me up with your mother?”

“I'm sorry, Glory. But I want you two to get along. If I made a scene here . . .” He ran a hand through his hair. “Damn it, I thought that this might give you a chance to show off how successful you've become. That you and Ma might actually come to respect each other.” He turned when Mag emerged from her dressing room with the two students. They were pale but seemingly none the worse for wear.

They were talking about the coffee they'd had while one of them paid for his book. They decided to go back to the coffee shop to wait for the girls and left before their girlfriends came out to pay for their dresses.

“I must say, Gloriana. There are advantages to being a shopkeeper in a town like this.” Mag carefully dabbed at her lips with a hanky, her cheeks pink. “You have quite a nice setup here. Though why you bother drinking the synthetic with such a nice supply of the fresh is a puzzle to me.”

I was speechless. Yes, really. Well, until Mara tried to ease toward the door, her pockets bulging.

“Ahem.” I put a hand on her shoulder. “Didn't you see a few things you liked?” Mara gave me a dirty look. “Here?”

A new customer came in, so I decided to send Mara a mental message. “Do I have to do a strip search?” Mara stiffened, then pulled the teddy, a sweater, black leather gloves, a silk scarf and three hankies out of her pockets.

“Jeremiah, dear, would you be so kind as to charge these for me? Mara, let me give them to you for Christmas.” Mag never looked my way, though she had to know about Mara's light fingers.

Jerry merely nodded, obviously glad to get the women out of the shop. They were almost out the door when Diana and Damian came in.

“Lady Campbell, I had no idea you were in town.” Damian bowed and kissed a blushing Mag's hand. “My sister will be delighted. Hello, Mara.”

Diana hit him with her elbow. “Introduce me, Damian.”

“Certainly. Lady Campbell, please allow me to introduce Diana Marchand. She owns Mugs and Muffins, the charming little coffee shop next door.”

“Oh, Lady Campbell, I'm so honored to meet you. Jerry's mother, of course.” Diana flushed, and, gag me, curtsied. Mag was actually pleased as she glanced at me to see if I noticed how at least one person here knew how to accord her the proper respect. Of course Diana's respect was slightly tarnished by the fact that her Jugs, I mean Mugs and Muffins T-shirt barely contained her ample chest.

“Hi, Mara.” Diana had already met Mara and knew she had her sights set on Blade. Since Diana's my friend, her greeting was rather cool. Mara was so busy pilfering costume jewelry she didn't even bother to look up.

“The reason we came by is that Diana and I are hosting a party at the castle.” Damian's smile included everyone in the room, even my new clerk Jasmine, whom he'd met exactly once. Fortunately all the mortals had left the store. “A Winter Solstice Ball.” You've got to understand that winter solstice is huge in the vampire world. The longest night of the year. Naturally it's party time. I've been to some really great winter solstice blowouts over the years, quite a few of them with Jerry. I'd just turned to him when Mara dropped the crystal necklace she'd decided not to steal and grabbed Jerry's arm.

“My first winter solstice without Mac!” Oh, great. Here came the hanky. “You will escort your mother and me to the ball, won't you, Jeremiah?”

Jerry gave me a desperate look. “I thought you and Ma might be going to Paris, Mara. And if I go to a party, I'll take Gloriana, of course.”

Score! I wanted to take a victory lap around the shop. Instead I wrapped an arm around Jerry's waist. “It sounds like fun. Costumes?”

“Of course. And a band for dancing.” Diana dared approach Mag. “We're calling it A Night at the Movies. Everyone should come dressed as a character from a movie they love. I think themes just add to the fun, don't you, Lady Campbell?”

“I suppose. If it's done in good taste.” Mag eyed Diana's T-shirt like she was doubtful the owner of a coffee shop had a clue what good taste was.

“Oh, I'm letting Damian guide me.” She smiled and put her hand on his arm. “And then there's Prince Igor of Transylvania. I've persuaded him to come for the ball by making it a fund-raiser for one of his favorite charities. He said after the party he'll go on to Paris for the Countess von Repsdorf's Christmas open house. Perhaps you can do the same.” Diana sighed. “I swear the aristocracy of Europe is so special. Y'all lead such glamorous lives.”

Mag smiled. “Why, my dear, it can be positively exhausting. But your little soiree sounds charming. And if Igor will be here . . .”

“He promised. I got an e-mail from him just last night.” Diana grinned at me. “Did you know that he owns a company that makes synthetic blood? It's a new one. Bloodthirsty.”

“I love that brand! It's even better than Fangtastic.” I could see Mag's disapproval. “Those booths in back are dressing rooms, Mag. Not privacy spaces for draining my customers.”